To expect children to say thank you?

YANBU. My 4 and 7 year olds always thank anyone who gives them anything, I have taught them that from age 1-2 when they started talking, in fact I have always insisted on it. They do it second nature and genuinely, but if they didn’t both their Dad and I would tell them to, and make it known we disapproved of them not saying it. Good manners are hugely important.

Nah, I’d immediately tell mine “well what do you say?”

Have had a big falling out with my stepdaughter (almost 10) today due to her sheer ungratitude for everything she’s had this year. Went into her room (shes with us full time) and everything is just chucked all over place, half ruined, no care taken at all. She did say some thank yous at the time but usually prompted. My family treat her as if she’s their own and I’m really hurt that she has just thrown it all aside with no thought.

In contrast, my only just 2 year old (actually turned 2 on Christmas Day) was given a pack of socks today as a little gift from my mum. She looked up, big smile, said “thank you Grandma” with no prompt, then went to put them away nicely in her draw.

No thats not how all children are nowadays. I would be mortified if my daughter behaved like that. I've taught her from a young age to say please and thank you. If a 3 year old can say thank you then so can an 11 and 18 year old.

I think that's awful OP. Especially shocking that it's in person as well.

I have several younger relatives/family friends who I've sent presents to over the years. In many cases I don't get any acknowledgement at all. Not even a text from the parents. I don't even know that the present has arrived! In one case the youngster gave me very detailed instructions on the present that was desired (proving that she was capable of communicating with me) but absolutely nothing once it had actually appeared.

I don't give those people presents any more.

I get you, totally unacceptable, manners cost nothing. My son has ASD with speech delay but he can say Please and Thank you!

It grinds my gears too because it takes two seconds to send a text. You don't even have to speak.

I remember, back when I was little, having to phone my auntie on the landline to say thank you and feeling riddled with anxiety at having to phone. I still did though, because it's polite. I'm considering not bothering next year 😡. Ungrateful little toe rags.

I'll get off my soapbox now 😂.

It's so bloody rude not to say thank you. I'd be mortified if my DDs didn't say thank you for a gift.

My sister and I swapped our DC's gifts before Christmas Day. My DDs opened their gifts from my sister on Christmas morning and sent her messages straight away to say thank you. When I spoke to my sister her DS's hadn't been to her house yet to open theirs off me. Fair enough, they were going later that day. The youngest was at his dad's and the oldest was with his girlfriend. I know that they now will have opened them but I'm yet to receive a thank you. I'm fuming! They're not even children. One is 26 and the other is 16 so it's not as if they're kids who are too young for manners. I got stuff that they would want too, so not as if I bought them random crap.

YANBU to expect some form of thanks. If unable to at the time, then in some other form later, or at the very least a thank you from the parent on their behalf.

Unless they are acutely shy, a thank you is in order.

if shy maybe a thank you card after the event and a gentle prod from a parent.

£30 is very generous

My DS has situational mutism and really can't cope with "performing" for people. I get him to send a card after the event though.

Ditto. My 5 year old always says thank you. Your friend needs to take their kids to task and instil some basic manners. I wouldn’t give them a gift again and I’d make a point of explaining to their parents why.

I used to make DD send thank you cards when she was younger. I have never once had a thank you card from either of my nieces nor even a thank you text, both are currently late teens. I've actually from last years Xmas stopped sending presents it irked me so much.

I’d be mortified if they were my kids!

My niece and nephew never say thank you. Niece (8) turned her nose up at her birthday gift this year and said "eww". It was something quite expensive she'd asked for. Her mum (SIL) asked us to get it as she was short of money (although she's never short when it comes to her nights out every Friday and Saturday).

We gave them both a £20 voucher for the toy shop this Christmas as I couldn't be arsed putting any effort in when it's not appreciated. My two are lucky if SIL remembers to buy them selection box each.

While my two (2&5) know how to say please and thank you, before going to my parents for Christmas dinner we had to explain if they got a present they don't like they've still to smile and say thank you. Kids don't know unless they are taught

They wouldn't get a gift again.

My nephews and nieces were the same so haven't had a present from me in years and as soon as the presents stopped, so did any contact from them.
I don't miss them.
My DC knows to say thank you and even though they are an adult now, I'd still read them the riot act if I ever thought they were being ungrateful.

Yes, they should have said thank you but I'd not have prompted them in public if o was the parent. Just made them text, message or send card later

I'd have prompted them and then had a chat about manners and appreciation once you'd gone. No excuse for being rude like that. One of their first words was Ta, for God's sake.

Absolutely not all kids. My DC and (the vast majority) of his friend group all say thank you very nicely - for gifts from DC, meals I make for them, play dates I organize at my place etc. All in the upbringing, I would think.

I do have a grandchild who is so shy about saying thank you that it’s really difficult for her so maybe that also applies to those children?

Childless here too but I know qite a few kids of various ages and even the tinies say please and thank you.

I think it’s a generational thing that disappeared and needs to be brought back. I’m always asking DS if he said thank you if he got a lift etc. he’s like YEEES

he’s a nightmare at home. No gratitude for anything but everyone comments how polite and respectful he is outside of the home.

when I’ve done something like given him his lunch etc and he says nothing I will walk away singing the moana song. What can I say except you’re welcome.

I get an eye roll.

when my husband presents our dinner as he cooks due to my work patterns, I will say thank you for my delicious meal. And then in a squeaking voice say Thank you dad for my meal!!

maybe I should stop the passive aggressiveness 😂

I think if a young child forgets then the parents would prompt. If an older child - 11 or 16 doesn't say it then the parents have failed!

Not necessarily, as I said above.

If you thanked the giver in person or in a phone call then thank you cards or letters are unnecessary. My rule was always just that there must be a clear thank you, one way or another.

These children were rude. They should have said thank you immediately and did have a clear opportunity to do so. I would definitely have prompted my children/teenagers to thank the giver if I didn't clearly hear them doing so.