To expect children to say thank you?

It’s disgusting behaviour from the parents for ever allowing the child to behave like this.

That's disgusting behaviour from your nephew!!

You've just repeated what I said. It's not an excuse. But a potential explanation. So, thanks for agreeing, I guess.

Your DH is right, a lot of kids nowadays have no manners. I recently took my DD and her friend to a trampoline park, paid for her, bought her drinks, food, money to play in the arcade and never once got a thank you. Expected one when I dropped her off perhaps but nothing!

Next year just give them a £2 selection box if you have to give anything at all. I wouldn't be giving them cash ever again.

DD is 16. She wouldn’t have needed prompting.

£30 is a lot of money. YNBU

My bil's kids are similar and never say thank you mainly because their parents don't either. One year, I didn't give them their expected birthday gift and bil asked me if I forgot! The cheeky fucker was clearly expecting a present from me so was a bit confused when it didn't appear.

I told him because his kids never acknowledged their gifts, I assumed they didn't like them. So, I decided to save my money and not buy for them anymore. He was really shocked and now makes them say thank you only because the greedy twat wants more gifts. It worked though, at least they thank people even if it is for the wrong reason.

Gosh that’s so rude, especially at their ages. I wouldn’t give them a gift again.
And no, that’s not how children in general are these days. I’d be mortified if my child didn’t say an automatic thank you when receiving a gift by that age, and they’d get a talking to about manners afterwards.

My friends kids never say thank you and their parents rarely prompt them. I think it’s becoming more common, sadly.

My kids don't always say thank you.
They understand the expectations and the social imperative.
My eldest is 23 and autistic with selective mutism. This is best thought of as a phobia of expectation to communicate. When this DC was little and I didn't understand, I drummed politeness into them and made it worse.

My eldest DC will show they appreciated the gift in other ways - being eager to set it up or sign up for something. We perceive gratitude. Thank you is said more in lower stakes situations.

The younger ones do say thank you but because of our particular situation we have never made a huge thing of it. If people think my kids are rude they are welcome to opt out, as you only need to spend a little time with them to learn they are good kids.

My nieces and nephews never say thank you and I've bought gifts and given money to them for the last 30 years! The eldest was 30 this year and got a big fat zero from me, apart from a card, as I've never had a thank you and never so much as a card in return for my own birthdays or Christmas. Sorry, but a line has to be drawn.

Rude. I can understand children that age being a bit awkward about phoning someone to say thank you, but in the moment they should definitely say thank you. They should say thank you whether you were giving them a present or passing them the tv remote - it’s poor of their parents not to say something. If I was the parent I would have pulled them aside and told them off.

"Is this where we play 'spot the Autistic woman being picked on by her husband's oblivious Auntie'?.

Dysfunctional, strange, isn't normal and not brought up well are all pretty offensive examples of ableism."

No, that was clearly the part where you play 'Mumsnet armchair doctor' and use it as an excuse to berate another poster @NeverDropYourMooncup

And no, those terms aren't "pretty offensive terms of ableism" ...on the other hand, the fact that you diagnosed a woman you have absolutely no clue about, merely on the the terms dysfunctional, strange, isn't normal, and not brought up well.. well that IS.

And even after @Writersblok clarified for you, and reassured you that she has personal reasons for being sensitive to ableist behaviour, you still couldn't bring yourself to swallow your pride and apologise.. in fact you used the fact that she's a wheelchair user to dismiss her further.
Honestly, your behaviour is awful and it's completely uncalled for on a thread (and post) that had nothing to do with what you're griping about.

Then they should message to say thank you later.

Feeling uncomfortable is no excuse.

Some people feel really awkward recieving gifts and panic in the moment. Maybe they just felt uncomfortable.

Still not really an excuse and their parents should have prompted them. But it might not just be that they're completely spoiled brats

Definitely the fault of your friend

I had the same problem with my friends teenagers. They got money and a small gift. No thanks was forthcoming. I ASKED their Mum if they liked said gift and got a oh yeah they said xyz, thank you wasn’t among the xyz, it’s happened two years in a row. Birthdays are coming up in the early half of the year and I feel jaded.

Manners is the hill I will die on. My 9 year old may need prompting occasionally because he is quite shy but he will always say thank you to gifts. It’s just basic parenting.

YANBU , ds has had please and thank you drummed into his brain from starting to talk. I don't think it's as common as it used to be though as I'm often told he's very polite. I don't think he is especially.

I remember my three year old GD asking for ice cream in a cafe. Said the usual “please” and the lady serving thought she was polite saying please. She was so taken with her that she asked if she wanted another scoop, as she didnt want more she said “no thankyou” and the woman couldnt believe she said it without prompting.

This. My children would have the money taken off them. The reason most children are rude is because of poor parenting.

not unreasonable at all! My son’s footy coach & friend of the family gave all 10 kids a small gift this year & only 1 (not my kid!) said thank you! I was so mad on his behalf & told off mine & the ones I know well .. sent them all back to say thanks!! Manners are so lost now 🙄

I used to buy gifts for my friends children I didnt mind so much when they were little the lack of personal thank you and I was never there when they opened gifts so thank you from the parent was okay but the year they were blatantly old enough to be able to message and say thank you themselves and didnt, or my friend didnt even acknowledge id given gifts and never even thanked me I just stopped! Its rude and thoughtless but it is the parents fault if children are not accountable for good manners! Just dont bother giving them anything again.

My kids are 13 and 16 and I’d be mortified if they didn’t say thank you and look pleased to receive something. However, my nephew is 11 and is like this. Rarely says thank you even when prompted. He also shakes out any birthday/Christmas cards to see if there is any money in them, and sulks if there isn’t. I find it so so rude.

My kids would have definitely said thank you ….