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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
Pipsquiggle · 26/12/2025 13:40

I think you breaking up with him is the best present you could give to yourself and your DC

CocksBolingey · 26/12/2025 13:39

Hope your not entertaining seeing this toxic bellend again?

CraftyPlayer · 26/12/2025 13:37

Don’t let him back in op. What a prick. You and your kids deserve better.

Gremlins101 · 26/12/2025 13:37

What a horrifically awful man. Congratulations on getting your life back!!

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 26/12/2025 13:36

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 12:57

Seriously OP, how have you allowed this man that you’ve only been in a relationship with for 2 years around your kids?

Erm, because it's 2 years not 2 months.

LoudSnoringDog · 26/12/2025 13:36

God. Bin this one.

socks1107 · 26/12/2025 13:35

Take back any keys he may have, block him and move into the new year without this lazy waste of space.

Daleksatemyshed · 26/12/2025 13:34

The best Christmas present you could give yourself Op, locking the door behind him and blocking his number. He's another manchild, he can't cope with you putting anyone before him so well done on finally seeing him so clearly. Have a happy New Year without him @Cheeseyminky

HK04 · 26/12/2025 13:34

The best present 💝 be to kick him to the kerb. He’s shown you who he is many times and you need to listen. Better to be on your own. Well done you for pulling it back and concentrating on the kids.

VikingsandDragons · 26/12/2025 13:33

It's only 2 years in, don't sign up for a third. He's shown you who he is, believe him and act accordingly. Your children's lives would have been better yesterday without him in it, I'd hazard a guess they'd always be better without him in it.

TheMorgenmuffel · 26/12/2025 13:33

When he resurfaces, i hope you tell him to stay fucked off.

He's not worth it.

SunnyViper · 26/12/2025 13:32

So he has form for this and he is still in your life??

RedGreenNeverSeen · 26/12/2025 13:30

You and your kids deserve so much better than this.

Sharpzebra · 26/12/2025 13:30

Time to get rid of him doing this Infront of your children isn't great and you let this happen for 2 years or has the behaviour got worse? Either way block him don't entertain him again and say good riddance

parakeet · 26/12/2025 13:30

Well done on seeing him for as he is. Stay strong and don't take him back - just focus on giving your children a lovely rest of the Christmas break. Have a wonderful 2026.

ChaToilLeam · 26/12/2025 13:28

Don't allow this man back into your lives! If you have to get someone to promise there won't be any drama, they probably shouldn't be invited in the first place.

Tresd · 26/12/2025 13:27

Time to ghost this idiotic motherfucker.

Dont answer his calls or text, if he comes to the door, just tell him that it’s finished.

what an absolutely spoilt useless man baby bell end

thepariscrimefiles · 26/12/2025 13:27

What a childish and spoilt twat he is. I can't imagine that he brings anything positive to your life. Get rid of him as a belated Christmas present to yourself.

SugarCoatSandwich · 26/12/2025 13:27

Sorry but no boyfriend of mine would act out like that in front of my kids.

He has spoilt a special family day and he's not even family.

user46256728992 · 26/12/2025 13:27

Goodness me, stop putting yourself AND your kids through this! Block his number, change the locks and whatever else you need to do to remove this negative person from your lives!

MyrtleLion · 26/12/2025 13:25

And women, the only moral here is that, if your husband doesn’t buy you a present, or gets you a crappy last-minute gift when you’ve spent much of the year contorting yourself around his desires, he is telling you loud and clear that he’s not prepared to expend any resources - any time, any energy, any mental capacity, any money - on getting to know you, on seeing you as you really are, on enhancing your happiness or on recognising your value. This Christmas, don’t let anyone convince you that this isn’t a big deal.

https://open.substack.com/pub/rachelhewitt/p/why-are-some-men-so-bad-at-gift-giving

Why are (some) men so bad at gift-giving?

"It's the thought that counts" is only true when some actual thought has gone into it

https://rachelhewitt.substack.com/p/why-are-some-men-so-bad-at-gift-giving?triedRedirect=true

Sanasaaa · 26/12/2025 13:25

Speaking from experience, it's traumatic to a child to have a volatile, aggressive unrelated male in your home. They'll have been walking on eggshells, and feeling like they have to protect your from the boyfriend.

Only accept dates from exceptionally high quality, intelligent, feminist men, and best not to make you kids get involved.

ShiftingSand · 26/12/2025 13:24

You’re so much better off without this awful man. He sounds so selfish and immature. Enjoy being with your children, family and friends and don’t let him back into your life. Good luck

Wreckinball · 26/12/2025 13:24

Why would you want to be with this person?

FOJN · 26/12/2025 13:24

Good riddance. He did you a favour. I wouldn't ever contact him again.