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Original poster

I'm done..

365 replies

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

OP posts:
MummyJ36 · 26/12/2025 14:39

if they’re not his kids wtf are you doing having this man around your children?

massinsaln · 26/12/2025 14:35

REDB99 · 26/12/2025 14:31

You’ve only been with him for two years and he’s meant to be taking your kids to carol concerts and spending Christmas Day with you? Next time you meet a man keep him away from your children, don’t move things so quickly and prioritise protecting them from more awful men. This one’s on you OP, don’t allow a man into your kids lives like this again. They’re clearly young enough to need supervision, you shouldn’t be letting men you’ve been with for such a short amount of time to do this.

This!

Bestfootforward11 · 26/12/2025 14:35

Completely unacceptable behaviour from him on every level. He’s left. Brilliant. He’s ignoring you. Even better. Start the new year without this stone around your neck. He might at some point start texting nonsense. This is when you ignore him. There’s nothing more to say. If an adult doesn’t understand this is not how you behave to people you supposedly care about, I don’t think much can done to adjust their thinking. You can only adjust your thinking which is that you won’t tolerate it any more. You and your kids deserve better. Wishing you every happiness for 2026.

Greenwitchart · 26/12/2025 14:32

Good riddance OP.

He sounds like a complete waste of time...

REDB99 · 26/12/2025 14:31

You’ve only been with him for two years and he’s meant to be taking your kids to carol concerts and spending Christmas Day with you? Next time you meet a man keep him away from your children, don’t move things so quickly and prioritise protecting them from more awful men. This one’s on you OP, don’t allow a man into your kids lives like this again. They’re clearly young enough to need supervision, you shouldn’t be letting men you’ve been with for such a short amount of time to do this.

Flyingintotheunknown · 26/12/2025 14:29

Ministerofmumbles · 26/12/2025 13:14

Men like this have red flags waving from very early on and just by reading OPs post you can see that there is no concern for the effect on her dc and what it must have been like for them to be around him, but all about their feelings.

Show quote history

I agree with this. Some women will just introduce anything to their kids. I’ve seen women who I went to school with jump from relationship to relationship while dragging their kids with them. All so they can be ina relationship with someone.. anyone! Each time the man turns out to be abusive or a complete loser and those kids will then go on to believe this treatment of their mum is normal and either end up in similar relationships or treat their partners with the same lack of disrespect. This is why I make it clear to anyone I’m dating that I will not be introducing them to my kids as they already have a dad of their own! If they treat me like shit, I can just walk away with no upheaval or emotional impact on my children

CinnamonJellyBeans · 26/12/2025 14:29

You have failed your children by prioritising your relationship with this man.

Your children deserve better than this angry, scary man in their house, walking over you and them, while you placate him.

You telling us and yourself that you are "done" is an intention, not an action.

You're not actually "done" until he's completely out of your life. You need to end the relationship with no avenue for negotiation, discussion, or promises of future good behaviour.

sparrowhawkhere · 26/12/2025 14:29

Please protect your children from experiencing your relationship negativity.

blackpooolrock · 26/12/2025 14:26

the words which come to mind are "this isn't working for me, goodbye."

LakeGeneva1 · 26/12/2025 14:26

The worry is that you may still have stayed with him if he hadn't left himself. What did he bring to your life?

He has done you a favour . Please , whatever you do, please dont take him back.

WinterBerry40 · 26/12/2025 14:25

He sounds awful . Don't give in to any of his excuses to his bad behaviour ( even if they include memories of a passed loved one and missing them at this time of the year )
In a few months you will be over him and wonder what took you so long .

Tiggermad · 26/12/2025 14:25

He sounds awful.
Get rid.

Voneska · 26/12/2025 14:24

Hi, I already wrote one reply but I want to add another one. I want to suggest staying in contact with him ; keeping a JOURNAL and selling the RITES to this journal to A TV SOAP -OPERA COMPANY.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/12/2025 14:23

The best Christmas gift you will get is a future without this man! Think of your kids & the example you’ve set them putting yo with his shit behaviour! Block his number & enjoy the rest of Christmas with your kids!!

CalmShaker · 26/12/2025 14:23

Well shot of that prick , it's important you don't go back on this now though and move on.
To be honest I'm fuming after reading that and I think he needs a bloody good ear full. If you want to send his number (I won't say I got it from you) then I have an air horn and can blast it down the line a few times if you want, including in the middle of the night ?

Scout2016 · 26/12/2025 14:23

Good for you OP. Don't let him wheedle (sp?) his way back in. Here's to a dickhead free 2026 and beyond!

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/12/2025 14:20

Ooft, the trash took itself out. Block, move on, you are well rid op. Start 2026 with a spring in your step never having to put with this twat’s shit ever again.

cadburyegg · 26/12/2025 14:20

And he adds to your life how?

Sounds like an extra child!!!

SweetMotherofAbrahamLincoln · 26/12/2025 14:17

Cheeseyminky · 26/12/2025 12:46

We have been together for just over 2 years and don't live together. I'm done after yesterday. It was the final straw.

I don't know whether I am becoming more aware of his behaviour or whether it's his behaviour that is changing. He seems to be more and more focused on himself, his needs and always wants to be the centre of attention.

For example I had a carol concert in a village church. I asked if he wanted to go and he confirmed that he was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to 30 mins before the concert he told me that he wouldn't be coming because he was tired and not up to spending time with people. He was due to accompany my kids to the concert this left me frantically trying to make arrangements for the kids to go elsewhere or for somebody to bring them. I honestly think he was hoping that I'd have to cancel. Instead I sat the kids in the front pew and asked one of the ladies from the church to keep an eye on them.

I messaged to tell him how disappointed and how let down I felt. He ignored my message and then ignored me for over 24 hours. When he eventually resurfaced he didn't apologise for letting me down.

This year he suggested that I buy my own christmas presents as he has no idea what to buy . So I did and he gave me the money. He wrapped them but whilst I was opening my non surprise presents he complained about how much time it took him and how it was such a ball-ache.

He seemed to be mildly frustrated that the day wasn't centred on him. He kept trying to divert the focus in to him. We had a mince pie each and he said it was too sweet and made him feel sick. Despite him eating 4 identical mince pies the week before in one sitting. He made a big thing about it yesterday almost trying to make out that I was trying to make him ill. Nobody forced the mince pie down his throat.

Things hit boiling point when I was getting ready to serve dinner and asked for some help. The kids were laying the table and he was sat watching TV. He came in looking pissed off and said what do you want me to do. I asked him to make some space by washing up some dishes. He said that he'd already washed up once and why were there so many dishes. He got irritated that there were some unwashed dishes in the sink.

He then threw something in the sink causing a loud clatter said fuck this shit. I'm going. Purely because I'd asked for help in the kitchen. Everybody else was helping and he was just sat watching TV.

He picked up his keys and stormed out shouting enjoy your f*cking
Christmas. That was the last I've heard from him, im obviously on the naughty list again and I'm being ignored.The kids and I did enjoy our christmas dinner without his tantrums.

I'd only agreed to let him come over Christmas day if he could promise that he'd not cause any drama. He assured me it would be ok but I was kind of thinking that he couldn't get through the day without causing any.

The kids and I are having a lovely boxing day eating chocolates and mince pies. Building lego and playing with toys without waiting for a human grenade to explode.

Happy boxing day everyone

Christ, you couldn’t pay me to enough to even spend an hour in the company of a man like this, he certainly would never have made it into my home and around my children. No man is worth this. Throw him back to the shit heap he belongs on

Americano75 · 26/12/2025 14:16

Happy blocking! What an absolute arse.

Eyeshadow · 26/12/2025 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Voneska · 26/12/2025 14:15

I'm sorry for what I'm about to say dear sister, My heart goes out to you; if I was your close friend I would give you a hug. You see it's like this : He's having FUN - Seeing how far he can push you. I only Read a few lines of your post to understand that HES TOXIC and you will prob . Need Medication soon if you continue because YOU are the ONLY one in this relationship. You ARE GASLIGHTING YOURSELF into thinking you are TOGETHER !!!!! It's sooooooooo saaaaad really. Get yourself a good counsellor to find a resolution to your distorted view of thus relationship. Apologies if this is too blunt a truth. I just want to help. Life is hard enough without adopting A MAN - CHILD.

ZookeeperSE · 26/12/2025 14:13

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life OP ❤️.
You and your children will be fine now xx

Justchilling07 · 26/12/2025 14:12

MamaJenni · 26/12/2025 12:49

You dont live together?
youre not married/financially tangled together?
theyre your kids not his?

block him and dont look back. Once you see them for what they are, theres no return!

best of luck on your new year adventures 🤪

Yes, this.

SchrodingersKoala · 26/12/2025 14:12

Block, delete, never let this man be around you and your children again. Thank goodness you don't live together or have children together, just breakup and never give him a second thought. Enjoy the rest of your christmas with your children.