“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

@Devoed If there's an option to have water, take it. You can take a sip when you need to think, which makes it feel less like everyone's looking at you and waiting for an answer.

Yes take notes, you will never be able to recall the big points you want to “clarify” when under pressure

Thinking of you @Devoed and so rooting for you! 🫶🏼

They can ask anything, threw a few curve balls to me. I took a fidget ring- kept my hands down under the table and less expressive and something to ground myself. I doodled abd made notes while he was on the stand, gave myself the job of note taker so I focused or writing everything that reacting emotionally (then I read it all that night and cried in the privacy of my own home). Think it just made me go into professional mode despite it being the most awful and emotional time.
Don't label him, describe his behaviours on the stand. Ask them to repeat the question if you need a second to think or breathe.
I was advised by a famoly.member- whatever was the truth, my ex would flip it and make himself the victim. Everything he said had small bits of truth to them, but never actually true. So I was honest where a tiny bit of something was true, or said I didn't understand it. He used some.of.my worries as a mum against me, i said it.
Also, when he is on the stand first, make notes, bullet points, about what you want to respond to or.correct. you can then read the list before you go on the stand to focus yourself.
Wishing you luck!

Will it just be things in my witness statement and his or can they thrown anything up?

Children

I think its impossible to know what will be thrown at you, but you can be almost certain it will be ugly & untruthful.
The best thing is to breath, reply calmly & truthfully. Dont let him /his people rile you with lies..keep your eyes on the judge. (It doesn't matter if you cry. )
He will probably get irate & agitated. You need to be the opposite. Posed, grounded & determined

Which hearing is this for?

Any advice for after we’ve exchanged witness statements?

What can I do to prepare for cross examination?

Really? I am sure I have read something that suggests it does at some point.

I don’t think that comes into it for the children, weirdly.

I don't know. But I would imagine the judge would want to know how he intends to support DC financially and practically while they are with him if there is no evidence of any income. Someone else may know more than me!

About finances, do you think the judge will have expect KH to be job hunting in between hearings?

@MonGrainDeSel
I hope you’re right…I just worry how much the judge will read of the statements and things too.

CAFCASS are also commenting on them.

It is just so stressful.

I'm sure his solicitor is great, but the solicitor can only advise. They can't force him to behave normally. KH struggles with behaving normally as we've all seen over these threads so...

I think that, but then I remember he has a good solicitor that surely won’t allow him to come across like that?

I am just can’t think of what he could say.

I agree I think his witness statement is going to come off as deranged. He so strongly believes he’s right that he’s going to spew all sorts of nonsense to try and make you look bad, most of it will just seem bizarre to a judge and I’m sure they’ll have seen it all before. You’ve got this.

The thing that frustrates me is that you don’t get to respond to each others witness statements when I might be able to disprove a lot to his accusations. They can cross examine us but I won’t be allowed to whip my texts out and pass them around.

KH just seems so angry, like so angry.

I hope it gets take seriously.

Have been thinking of you, @Devoed, and hoping all is OK. I am sure his witness statement will be as erratic and unbelievable as the rest of his behaviour.

I hope his comes across as totally batshit. Yours will reflect his erratic behaviour and hopefully the judge and all involved can put 2 and 2 together. You are so strong ❤️

At least yours will be the truth.

Witness statements are due in next month…I am dreading what’s in KH’s and his reaction to reading mine.

His behaviour continues to be erratic

If DC are settled and happy, and KH is seeing them regularly, I don’t really get why anyone will want to upset that.

It is not just me saying they’re happy either.

I am hoping that counts for something.

My exh thought he was clever handing over a backpack of printed out text messages in which I wasn't exactly polite.. Judge told him to put them away. Wasn't interested..
Final hearing about OUR dc saw a change in schedule that didn't see the dc passed back and forwards as much as previously. Blocks of time benefit dc better.

Thinking of you @Devoed