Christmas expense split unfairly

Read the thread.

The OP does contribute. The issue is she's being asked to contribute more than the sister and her husband do combined and pay towards alcohol when she barely drinks

I certainly won't be sneering at it given the amount my family spent on Christmas day.

If you enjoy your Christmas that's all that matters - I certainly enjoyed mine.
I don't have a freezer either - just a fridge which is another reason I don't go overboard. I moved house 5 years ago and my kitchen is tiny (had to move as my flat was being demolished). In my old flat I had space for a fridge and a chest freezer. My mum has freezer space but not much - so we buy what we need so there's nothing wasted.

I actually got an aldi too good to go bag on Christmas eve for 3.30 and I got loads of fruit and veg. So I'll be making soup today with the veg and the free tatties my mum got from the pantry.

We'll be doing more or less the same for Hogmanay next week.

I think it should be split 4 way. I wouldn't expect the children to be included but all adults should pay a share. Her H ate and drank. I'd send her £62.50. Next year you might want to go out to eat. It would cost around the same.

I think it is probably too late this year but next year tell her in advance what your budget is towards the shop and say that alcohol will not be included as you will bring some on the day. That way you have some control over the situation.

I’m in a similar situation to you and I make some of the dishes and buy some extras such as crackers/napkins/candles. I always get offered the left overs of the things I made but usually leave them as they have hosted.

If you are the only family hosting every Christmas then it is quite rude for other family members not to contribute anything, be it food, wine or money.

I thought it was OP's share. My mistake. In this case, I'd pay. But I still disagree with charging family for Christmas and hosting.

I've not reported any of your posts or anyone else's - if that was levelled at me. The only post I reported this morning was the one where someone had their mobile phone number on display and I reported that because I was concerned.

If you read the entire thread the OP helps with the food shopping and the food prep - the OP also isn't a big drinker and contributes to the alcohol being bought - and pays more towards the full cost of the food than the sister and her husband - that's not unreasonable

I think it depends on priorities.

We had 4 adults for Christmas - myself, DH and our two DC. DD is a student and DS is an apprentice (i.e. neither have much money to spare).

We had a Finest Tesco chicken wrapped in prosciutto with stuffing for our Christmas meal (£12.50) along with lots of Aldi veg (all 5p each) and Aldi pigs in blankets (£2.50). We also had a box of stuffing although stuffing in the chicken (£1 when on offer earlier in the year). I made Yorkshire puddings (we always have flour, milk and eggs anyway but relatively low cost if we add it up). That comes to what? Under £20 anyway.

I bought a bottle of Prosecco (£6) and some lemonade and fruit juice (another £3-4 maybe?)
DD provided some crackers and some home made sweets.
DS provided some beer and a box of posh biscuits.
I'd say that wasn't out of the ordinary for "guests" as their contribution?

We also had a bought Tesco Finest Christmas pud and cream, home made mince pies and a Yule log (that was free with Morrisons points). Another £10 there?

I think that brings me up to about £40 for the amount spent on Christmas dinner - we had lots of food left over for sandwiches and bubble and squeak, and a lot of the desserts.

I assume based on this thread that some will be sneering at this meal, but it was sufficiently special for us and none of us felt short changed or that we were missing out. I also didn't realise it was so hugely different from what others might be eating!

The £200 we didn't spend on food on Christmas Day will cover the cost of a post-Christmas short break for DH and myself :)

Nope. Insane. Next time, go out with your mother. But then I couldn't imagine charging family like that, perhaps especially my mother.

Calling someone out isn't unkind. The fact they don't like being called out isn't unkind either.

Interestingly, "someone" has been reporting the posts that have since echoed what I said. So clearly, if you don't agree with one narrative, it appears you must be silenced.

Sorry but your sister is the one cooking the food so it’s her electricity and gas being used to cook the food. Do you help cook? Do you wash up? If no to either or both i think you are being very unreasonable and you should be thanking her. Keeping all the food wise then if it bothers you at the end of the meal ask if you could have a plate to take for the next day. **

I think that's the way to go.

You are unkind though.

I think the £250 should be £130 your sister and her family. £60 your mum £60

For how how many people?

I agree with the suggestion of sending over the amount of money you are happy to contribute.
Hey while i think of it here is £50/£62.50 or whatever towards the Christmas food, thank you for a lovely day x

There wasn’t actually a lot of alcohol, maybe £60’s worth. I spent far more than that on the cheese board. Also bought two sides of salmon, smoked salmon and other seafood. 8 tubs of Heroes/Celebrations/Roses, 10 tubes of Pringles and about 20 bottles of pop. It all adds up!

Same to you.

That sounds absolutely lovely. And no poor creatures slaughtered.

Happy new year to you when it comes

My mum and I get a takeaway -and have done for years - mainly because we don't eat meat and I personally prefer a takeaway on Christmas and new years day than I would sitting with a microwave dinner.

On Christmas eve we had a vegan dinner that cost nothing - there's a community pantry near us and it can be very hit and miss but they got loads of vegan donations this year and my mum got them for a pound. She could have taken much more too

I also went out on boxing day to morrison and got some yellow sticker party food - as no one seems to want the vegan stuff :)

My brother used to do Christmas day with his ex but since they split up he comes to my mums for a takeaway

We spent 30 quid excluding booze - and that works fine for us. We only have three of a family anyway. It's going to be much different if you are hosting ten or twenty people.

Lots of misers on this thread. 😱

I think of your hosting then realistically you should cover the cost, I do every year for our family and have never ever asked for a penny from anyone, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm not well off and some of my family are financially a lot better off than I am....but I have invited them, people often bring tubs of sweets or snacks etc and always ask if I need anything but usually just so no (this year I realized I was short on tea bags so asked MIL to pick me some up 🤣 as my mum and husband don't really drink)
I think of people offer to contribute then that's fine if you want to accept some towards it but you wouldn't throw a party and charge people for the food. Just my opinion and I get that times are hard but if I were you I would maybe arrange something else next year x

Personally I can’t fathom inviting anyone to my home for a meal and then asking them to pay! Sounds bonkers! If I’m hosting then I pay, I don’t expect anything from my guests except to come along and enjoy. Any help with clearing up etc. is welcome and if they want to bring some extra dessert or alcohol that is fine but not expected.

Last year I went to a close friends home for Christmas break. We stayed 3 nights. I took individual presents for them and their children. Then a bottle of whisky, a bottle of prosecco, a panettone from Waitrose and 2kgs of cooked pork as they love my pork. We all take turns at hosting. But no money is exchanged!