Christmas expense split unfairly

Depends wether the extra costs were significant tbh.
The OP didn't mention travel costs(could have been nothing or significant) and the sister isn't posting so we don know her extra costs (just that hosting definitely costs extra)
I watched my electricity meter go into overdrive whilst cooking Christmas dinner ,i was hosting 8 people though.
The OP seems to be unhappy about splitting the bill between 3 adults ,rather than 4 adults (a saving of 20 or so pounds)
I think hosting costs would easily add up to 20 pounds.
People are different though,most wouldnt argue over 20 pounds for someone hosting christmas lunch but some would.
There may be a backstory we don't know about too.

If so the sister shouldn't be reimbursed for electric and gas either.

i think travelling costs if significant are reasonable to take into account, the OP didn't mention costs regarding travel (im sure OP would have mentioned as she's up in arms about the unfairness of splitting the bill between 3 verses four, a saving of 20 pounds or so.)

It's too late for this year but for next year you say 'I will bring my own drink as I'm not a drink so can you take that off when you're calculating the total. Thanks'.

They would still be using electric and gas if the sister and mum weren't there. The sister buys 250 quid of food and pays 83 while her husband pays nothing - no. The mum and sister are being rinsed here.

It does not cost 250 quid for Christmas dinner for 4 adults and two young kids

Who pay to travel to the sister's house for the bigger picture. Travel can be expensive.

Who pays for elec/gas etc.i think you need to think about bigger picture

I wonder how much booze is being purchased. Because it's not 250 quid for a Christmas dinner for 4 adults and two kids by any stretch of the imagination

I've been at my mums since Christmas eve. She hasn't once said to me that I'm putting her out over the heating or having lights on - which I actually haven't. The light in my room is on for a minute until I go to bed

Why does everything need to be prepping chopping. One person being put out?

There no need for someone to spend 250 quid on Christmas dinner and if the OPs sister did it for 80 or 90 quid which is totally achievable - there would be no problem

She's getting the best deal out of all of this - which is why the OP is upset

Like others, I can't imagine charging family for Christmas. But I also think that as it's your sister's house you can't start negotiating the price. She's inviting you and telling you it'll cost X - I think your option is to go or not (and I would incline towards the latter myself)

We had Christmas buffet today at a pub.
Children £10 Adults £20. Including a beer, a glass of wine or a 4 dl soda.
It was double up £ on the 25th for same offer - but it was well stocked and really good.

We foot the bill to travel and visit my husband's family this year.
Does that count?

OP's sister doesn't pay for 2 adults and 2 kids travelling for Christmas. Mum and sister might pay to go to OPs house.

There are restaurants near me that do a three course Christmas meal for 50 quid. Some of the big chains will cost more obviously. Has no one considered that the sister could do the meal more cheaply?

Exactly

I'm sorry. The word hosting is getting on my every last nerve just now. The sister would be cooking dinner for her family anyway - not in a million years would my mum ever have had my gran with us at Christmas and expected to pay a penny

No one needs to spend 250 quid on food and drink for four adults. Someone could easily make a decent meal and have booze for 80 or 90 quid if that

No she wouldn't. It doesn't cost 80 pounds for a meal out on Christmas day. If it does you are being rinsed

Oh for goodness sake. "Hosting" for 2 extra close family adults who help with the shopping, the food prep, the cooking, the tidying and amusing children is hardly a huge deal. In fact OP's sister may actually have less work to do than if the guests weren't there.

Still too much to be asking of OP

She goes to her sister's every year, leaving her sister to bear the burden of hosting. That's opting out of hosting for herself.

If she doesn't like the terms under which her sister bears the hosting load every year, she doesn't have to go. She could take her £80 and buy her own dinner (although if she wants someone else to provide the venue, the decorations, cook it snd serve it to her in a pub or restaurant, she'd probably need to double or triple that amount).

Also, since when does hosting a meal - whether at Christmas for family or at any other time - involve charging guests for the cost of electricity, prepping and clearing up? We’re not running a restaurant, we’re choosing to host our family/friends. If you don’t want to do that, don’t do it. But you don’t do it and expect to be paid for your labour. How ridiculous.

And the visitors may have expenses travelling for Christmas.

I cannot imagine hosting and then charging my family members. I always end up hosting because I have the biggest house, wouldn’t dream of asking anyone for any money for it. I wouldn’t be going if that was me, go out for a nice dinner with your mum

i could understand the argument for a 4 way split (62 pounds rather than 83 pounds ) if we are not taking into account work involved in shopping,cooking cleaning and energy costs ,which the hosts foot the bill for which the guests do not.

Without any doubt it can be done for less than £250 but quite nice for the sister to stock up paid by her mother and sister.

The biggest issue for me is that the husband isn't paying any share