Page 12 | Christmas expense split unfairly

Blackcat54 · 2025-12-26T11:59:52+00:00

I'm single, I go to my sisters for christmas who is married with two kids. Mum comes too, alone. Me and my sister do the Christmas food shop together and mum brings bits. I had one alcoholic drink on christmas day. When it comes to splitting the expense for christmas food and drinks, my sister expects us to split it 3 ways between her (and her family) me, and my mum. I dont think this is fair because I'm one person, I barely drink, she's a family of four and she also keeps all of the leftover food and drink for her family. We havent sorted out the money side this year yet but will soon, how do I handle this? She can be very difficult when she doesnt get her own way.

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:23

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:21

Oh gosh it’s you!

still going on

Go. Away. You started quoting me and then got personal. Off you go.

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:21

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 27/12/2025 19:17

£83 for a full Christmas meal of several courses, and the evening meal, hosted and cooked by someone else, at their house, is not unreasonable.

The race to the bottom police will no doubt be on this thread to pearl clutch that "carrots are only 5p a bag" etc etc, but actually, £83 is not a crazy price in the context of today's prices. Do you really want to be that person who's twittering that a meal for one is £4.50. Buy that and sit on your own then?

Hyperbole that £83 is soooooo expensive doesn't help anyone. If I could pay £83 and then shrug off any responsibility on Christmas day and have all my food served to me, it would be very appealing. How about you host for all three households and do all the work next year and see who's got the better deal?

The husband pays nothing. That's quite a big issue I think. The mum and sister pay towards booze and the sister doesn't drink. They get nothing to take home with them

I'd happily be that person to sit on my arse at home rather than pay 83 quid to a meal when the husband pays the square root of fuck all

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:21

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 27/12/2025 19:17

£83 for a full Christmas meal of several courses, and the evening meal, hosted and cooked by someone else, at their house, is not unreasonable.

The race to the bottom police will no doubt be on this thread to pearl clutch that "carrots are only 5p a bag" etc etc, but actually, £83 is not a crazy price in the context of today's prices. Do you really want to be that person who's twittering that a meal for one is £4.50. Buy that and sit on your own then?

Hyperbole that £83 is soooooo expensive doesn't help anyone. If I could pay £83 and then shrug off any responsibility on Christmas day and have all my food served to me, it would be very appealing. How about you host for all three households and do all the work next year and see who's got the better deal?

My thoughts entirely

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:21

Oh gosh it’s you!

still going on

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:20

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:13

I don't host. I go to my mums every year because she has more space than me. I live in a one bedroom flat and she has two bedrooms. She also has pets she can't leave overnight (rabbits) whereas I have cats that I can leave and walk down to see them and feed them the next day

For context. My mum brother and myself had a takeaway on Christmas day - cost less than 23 quid.

You don't need to spend a fortune to be fed at Christmas. It's about being with family or friends in my view. Not how much you spend on food

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Same here

hope you had a lovely time!

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 27/12/2025 19:17

£83 for a full Christmas meal of several courses, and the evening meal, hosted and cooked by someone else, at their house, is not unreasonable.

The race to the bottom police will no doubt be on this thread to pearl clutch that "carrots are only 5p a bag" etc etc, but actually, £83 is not a crazy price in the context of today's prices. Do you really want to be that person who's twittering that a meal for one is £4.50. Buy that and sit on your own then?

Hyperbole that £83 is soooooo expensive doesn't help anyone. If I could pay £83 and then shrug off any responsibility on Christmas day and have all my food served to me, it would be very appealing. How about you host for all three households and do all the work next year and see who's got the better deal?

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:13

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:11

And keep on with it

I don’t agree with you and you keep coming back repeating yourself - suggests you can’t tolerate differing opinions

Edited

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You quoted me to start with but don't worry - I won't respond to you again. Hth!!!!!

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:13

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:06

You obviously can’t tolerate difference

I’m happy to disagree

obv we would buy diff things and host differently

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I don't host. I go to my mums every year because she has more space than me. I live in a one bedroom flat and she has two bedrooms. She also has pets she can't leave overnight (rabbits) whereas I have cats that I can leave and walk down to see them and feed them the next day

For context. My mum brother and myself had a takeaway on Christmas day - cost less than 23 quid.

You don't need to spend a fortune to be fed at Christmas. It's about being with family or friends in my view. Not how much you spend on food

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:11

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:09

I can tolerate difference thank you. I just don't agree with you that 250 pounds on one meal for four adults and two kids on Christmas day is reasonable - it is not on any level

The OPs sister could easily make a Christmas dinner for 6 people for forty pounds. The husband pays nothing so the burden falls on the mum and sister to pay their share

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And keep on with it

I don’t agree with you and you keep coming back repeating yourself - suggests you can’t tolerate differing opinions

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:09

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:06

You obviously can’t tolerate difference

I’m happy to disagree

obv we would buy diff things and host differently

Edited

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I can tolerate difference thank you. I just don't agree with you that 250 pounds on one meal for four adults and two kids on Christmas day is reasonable - it is not on any level

The OPs sister could easily make a Christmas dinner for 6 people for forty pounds. The husband pays nothing so the burden falls on the mum and sister to pay their share

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 19:06

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:04

No one needs to clean and prep on their own. Most people clean as standard and the OP said she helped with the meal prep as well. Stop trying to make excuses for someone who is rinsing members of their own family

You obviously can’t tolerate difference

I’m happy to disagree

obv we would buy diff things and host differently

FluffyBenji23 · 27/12/2025 19:04

£250 is daft! I charge my daughter and son in law £65 and they stay five days!

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 19:04

No one needs to clean and prep on their own. Most people clean as standard and the OP said she helped with the meal prep as well. Stop trying to make excuses for someone who is rinsing members of their own family

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:59

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:56

Never said it was no big deal

I am low income group but I mix with many diff groups but no big earners

hosting costs a lot

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Hosting does not cost a lot. The oven would be on anyway. Heating would be on anyway. I have just spent three nights at my mums house for Christmas and I did not contribute to her cooking costs or her fuel costs in any significant way.

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:57

Superhansrantowindsor · 27/12/2025 18:55

Unless you are struggling for money I don’t get the angst.
Hosting is a massive PITA. As others have pointed out, the cleaning and prep before is a job. Then there is cleaning after, keeping the heating on so everyone is comfortable. I presume her oven was also switched on for several hours. In our family someone brings the booze, someone sweet treats and crackers, someone pays for the turkey etc.

Why doesn't the husband pay his share? Why do the mum and sister have to pay a third when he pays nothing

83 quid for a Christmas dinner with one drink? No thanks

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:56

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:54

Are you actually trolling here? You're on a low income but you think people spending a grand on Christmas is no big deal?

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Never said it was no big deal

I am low income group but I mix with many diff groups but no big earners

hosting costs a lot

Superhansrantowindsor · 27/12/2025 18:55

Unless you are struggling for money I don’t get the angst.
Hosting is a massive PITA. As others have pointed out, the cleaning and prep before is a job. Then there is cleaning after, keeping the heating on so everyone is comfortable. I presume her oven was also switched on for several hours. In our family someone brings the booze, someone sweet treats and crackers, someone pays for the turkey etc.

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:54

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:53

Only you can say

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Are you actually trolling here? You're on a low income but you think people spending a grand on Christmas is no big deal?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 27/12/2025 18:53

50% sister/husband, 25% you and mum and all provide your own drinks.

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:53

BunchOfShapes · 27/12/2025 18:44

I honestly couldn't live like this. We hosted Christmas. In laws brought a pudding, wine and some snacks to have during the day, which was all lovely but not expected. We would never ask for money for coming to our home. That is not hosting.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd just go out with your mum for lunch next year and see your sister for a drink and cake or something.

Yes I’m always staggered by hosts wanting payment!

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:53

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:39

I live on a low income - where would I get 83 pounds to give a family member?

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Only you can say

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:46

BunchOfShapes · 27/12/2025 18:44

I honestly couldn't live like this. We hosted Christmas. In laws brought a pudding, wine and some snacks to have during the day, which was all lovely but not expected. We would never ask for money for coming to our home. That is not hosting.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd just go out with your mum for lunch next year and see your sister for a drink and cake or something.

This

BunchOfShapes · 27/12/2025 18:44

I honestly couldn't live like this. We hosted Christmas. In laws brought a pudding, wine and some snacks to have during the day, which was all lovely but not expected. We would never ask for money for coming to our home. That is not hosting.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd just go out with your mum for lunch next year and see your sister for a drink and cake or something.

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 18:41

MissMountshaft1 · 27/12/2025 18:38

Everyone I know does

some up to 1k for hosting what with gifts and all

im low income group

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That's ridiculous sorry. No one needs to be spending a grand at Christmas even with gifts included. Lots of people struggle - and the OPs sisters husband pays nothing - they keep all the alcohol and don't even give the OP and her mum leftovers to take home

Marieb19 · 27/12/2025 18:41

She really cant justify a three way split if she has a partner, it has to be 4 way. For next year, I would suggest a 4 way split on the food bill but everyone brings their own booze. She can't have spent £250 on one meal for 6 people. If she objects, you a d your mum could eat out.