Christmas expense split unfairly

I would just say next year. Mum and I have other plans - have a lovely Christmas

No. 250 quid between 3 adults as the hubby (who presumably has a pair of hands and could help with the prep) pays nothing

The OP said she helped with the prep and I would never want to do a Christmas meal like you've described as it sounds awful and exhausting - and once more - no one needs to spend 250 quid on a Christmas dinner for four adults and two young kids

I'd personally rather eat that by myself than opt into a meal where I paid 83 quid and didn't even get a bag of leftovers

My Christmas dinner cost 7.50 and it was lovely

I suspect the OPs sister doesn't do picky bits (I hate that phrase) and a cheeseboard.

I suspect they buy lots of booze that she subsidises because she doesn't drink alcohol

It's 2025. Women don't need to be chained to the cooker doing picky bits and cheese

Not even a bag of leftovers to take home for 83 quid? Fuck that

Splitting between the 4 adults sounds fine. How does you mum feel about it?

This is a good suggestion. And if sis gets upset I’d just pay the 250 but say next time you might have to do something different because your share for one person is a bit too high. But you at least thank her for hosting and recognise the effort etc.

I think it’s really nice that you and your mum contribute and also share some of the work.

you haven’t clarified but I think you mean rack of the three of you pays 250? So 750 in total? I’d want some leftovers from that for sure!

Because it's not just about the food receipt is it.

If my Christmas was just the value of the supermarket receipt I'd be laughing.

It's about planning the starter, main, dessert(s) plus all the nibbles. Prepping the night before, while everyone else can relax or get on with other things. Up early to get various meats and whatever in an out the ovens. Spending the morning in the kitchen instead of playing with the DC and relaxing watching TV. The crackers, the extra picky bits, the drinks (alcoholic and soft), the constantly checking if anyone needs a cuppa, or whatever, the table displays, the hosting and prepping your home for guests. The delivery of a tasty, Christmas dinner for everyone. Plus dinner, cold cuts maybe, with a cheeseboard? Laying a Christmas table. Clearing the table. Laying it for dinner. Running the dishwasher continuously.

Seriously, OP should sit on her own, chiming away that a fabulous slimy microwaveable ready meal roast dinner for one is merely a fiver. Eat that, by herself, if she's going to pretend that paying her third of the household bill, absolving herself of all responsibility, is poor value.

Don’t ask just state “Let’s split it evenly Sis. There’s 6 people in total so we should split it between 6 to be fair but I think it’s kinder to keep it between the adults only so 4 of us instead. What do you think?”

Who is getting the better deal out of this - it's not the OP is it?

Ah right. So two parents and their kids pay 83 quid between them and the single people also pay 83? How is that fair - particularly as the OP hardly drinks and is subsidising the booze too?

I think that this split sounds fair, but if she fights it I'd split between all four adults.

25% per adult and the kids go free. Still a good deal for DSis, even if she's covering heating, cooking costs etc. Take a bottle of wine with a screw top or pre-mixed cans for yourself.

Tell her you will pay 25% as one of 4 adults. Her reaction is her issue not yours.

Of course he pays. The households pay.

Just because two of the households comprise of one person, doesn't change the fact there are three households so the bill is split between 3.

Exactly

I’d split it three ways but you and your mum get to take some leftovers home.

Not done this at Christmas, but for things like family holiday in a caravan a d the subsequent food shop we split based on adults and children but the kids act as half each

So a family holiday with myself DH, DD, SIL, DGS DGD would be split five ways with the two grandkids adding up to a whole one. DD family then pays 3/5.

Or if we all go that's 8 adults and 2 children. Then total is split 9 ways.

Works for us

The husband pays nothing and the OP and their mum pay towards the kids food. The OP doesn't drink but contributes towards booze and doesn't even get a bag of leftovers

They would be using electric gas and water anyway.

You're quibbling over £21? And sister uses her electric gas water etc

Wtf? 🤣

A fifth.

You can get a turkey from aldi for around a tenner as far as I'm aware

Wow, is that how much a turkey costs?! We’re vegetarian so I’m not up to speed on costs. I can imagine ever spending that on one food item on the plate.

I think that's more than fair. Stand your ground!

This is a good method OP. She may be annoyed, it may make her think twice about inviting you next year, but you shouldn’t be paying the same as for a 4 person family.

I host my parents (and my DH and 3 kids) and I pay for everything as they give us a lot of support throughout it the year. It really doesn’t have to cost £250. How does it cost so much?

Veggies and potatoes are under £1 with the 15p veg. We’re vegetarian but I’m assuming meat is going to be around £50(?), then maybe £20 max for sides; stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkies and sauces. Thats £70. Plus two tubs of chocolates, crackers, biscuits, cheese, crisps and a pudding, maybe another £40? Plus a few bottles of wine; £30.

How did you spend an extra £110?

We spend less than £100 all in for 7 of us.

I'm quite fucking happy to have had a takeaway that cost 23 quid between the three of us and brought my own booze because I wasn't being rinsed by my own sister who expected me to pay not only for her kids meals but her husbands dinner.... Because "hosting"

Our family always came to us on Christmas Day and the meal cost me a small fortune. But now that it’s just the two of us, I don’t suppose I spend much less. The turkey still cost me £120, I still bought a gammon joint, sausage meat, bacon, cocktail sausages, loads of vegetables, xmas pudding, cream etc. Its just something I’ve always budgeted for and I would never have accepted any payment from anyone - I don’t charge guests for coming to my house!

I probably quoted you to relate what I was going to say

I don’t keep coming back and telling you you are wrong and keep going on!