Over stimulation or Christmas ruined by overcommercialised, high expectation December?

I think part of the problem is that we have lost the meaning of Advent. It was meant to be a time of quiet reflection and, while not a time of fasting, wasn’t a time where you would overindulge. Having Christmas events start in mid November - including work and school events - means that by Christmas Day people are bloated, fat and tired.

That's lovely and your children must live it all . My comment really is aimed the parents whose children are apparently all exhausted and growsy once it actually is Christmas.

You get exactly the same ones every year complaining. If anything I think there were fewer "partner bought me a rubbish gift and I spent all year planning his hugely expensive one" threads.

I think SM gives a sense of "everyone else has a wonderful magical Christmas with lovely-tempered children who adore their presents and say 'thank you so much' and everything goes well".
What they don't show is the off camera tantrum because the bouncy ball in the stocking was red rather than pink, the refusal to eat Christmas dinner because they'd eaten a whole box of smarties, the screaming match between the children because one has accidentally-on-purpose opened the other's present, and the opening of Granny's present to say "I don't want this..."
If we all could edit the bad parts of Christmas out, then it would look like a Disney film too.

We manage it by spreading Christmas out. Assuming we're home:
Christmas Day is stockings and presents from people there.
Boxing Day is presents from other people
Then the dc get a present a day until they're back to school (tree presents)

If we're away we basically do our own Christmas Day the day after we're back and work forward as above.

It means we don't get the major high then the flop of it's all over.
They don't get more presents btw; I simply divide the presents between stocking and tree.

We like it; it wouldn't work for everyone though.

we do it because it's... fun? And we enjoy them? God forbid families have great time together.

I was hosting a couple of people this year so two days scrubbing the house and preparing

WHY would anyone martyr themselves like that and then complain? Why do you need 2 full days? It's ridiculous

And frankly YABU to live in a house that you think is not up to standards for visitors that you need days scrubbing, but good enough for you.

I want my house at its best for ME, who lives in it. Visitors don't care!

I quite like doing some of the activities during December but then I have young children who I’m usually taking out to soft play etc at the weekend so a Christmas themed event instead isn’t usually any more tiring.

I think while there is sometimes pressure to do various activities people need to take responsibility and not do things if they don’t want to.

It's so sad. Christmas for me as a child started on Christmas Eve. So much excitement. Why on earth do parents feel the need to do so much in the lead up. Going to see some local lights or a store father Christmas was all I did and all my kids did.

I always thought it was primary schools - first one my DC went to was bad with christmas and going into summer hoildays - it was less stressed with second primary though build up to christmas was still there.

Since they got past that stage all been much more relaxed. Two kids home from uni and everyone seems happy and we had a good christmas day.

I personally don't get the boxing day and new year break bit not being festive season that I seen this year all over MN. When I've been in work during that period it's not the normal work place but it goes back to normal very quickly in new year.

I don't think our Decembers are fraught - we tend to enjoy most of it but we're not doing loads of social media shots.

I agree. I actually cried on the phone to my dad on the 23rd about how much I missed Christmas in the 90s. There was probably a school Christmas concert, maybe Santa came to your school party. There were paper decorations and your tree maybe went up mid December. You got a few presents on Christmas Day and you had your dinner and then everyone watched telly. Then leftovers and chilling until January.
It’s hectic now. The pressure to do Christmas days out and activities, arrange visits to Santa and see Christmas markets or whatever. I was hosting a couple of people this year so two days scrubbing the house and preparing.
i haven’t made it out my bed yet today, the last three days I’ve been so exhausted at the end of the day I can’t speak. There hasn’t been a minute of down time. I’m not doing this again. I can’t. I want to remember how utterly tired I am this year and just not do it to myself ever again. I’m going back to the 90s!

I think there's an awful lot more pressure now in large part due to social media and influencers, if you don't take part in all the over the top commercialised stuff you end up feeling like you or your kids are missing out. But I think kids would mostly be just as happy with much less, especially if you never start on all the over the top stuff so they don't know any different.

I think it says a lot about where we are as a society. Things are pretty grim in the world at the moment and people (myself included) need be something to look forward to, sprinkle in a bit of nostalgia and ‘magic’ - is there any wonder really? Christmas puts a bit of a dimmer switch on the doom and gloom and the mundane humdrum of every day life.

YANBU, although I blame social media rather than commercialism. So many performative new “traditions” like elf on the shelf, matching pyjamas, Christmas Eve boxes, Christmas bedding, having a “colour scheme” for the decorations etc. People spending a fortune on all this, nagging their kids and partners to pose for photos so it looks perfect on Instagram and putting so much pressure on themselves because they think they will somehow miss out if they don’t do it, then the whole thing becomes so stressful and overhyped that it’s no wonder it ends in disaster. It’s not just about having a good Christmas any more, it’s about showing the rest of the world how good your Christmas is at the same time.

This year we did hardly anything in the run up and decided to have a quiet Christmas just the 4 of us. Normally I am so anal about how everything looks and what we do on the day and this year I was just exhausted from work and we took everything super easy and had the best day. I gave up on social media earlier this year and it’s been the best thing. Really trying to keep it up for 2026.

I did have a lovely day, no drama, dinner was easy and delicious, the kids were appreciative of their gifts, DH bought some really lovely gifts for me and helped the kids choose similarly nice gifts for me. There was no tension or bad temper and everyone had a good day.

I don’t think I’m superior in any way, I do really trim the pre-Christmas festivities though so no one is too tired, over hyped or has unrealistic expectations. We see family and friends around the holidays, not on Christmas Day itself so no external pressure for things to be just so. It doesn’t need to be a stress.

I would vote for any party who bans shop from selling anything Christmas related until after Halloween however 😂

Aside from the "Christmas shops" that exist all year round, but they are rare

Depends how you look at it

Weeks of activities, experiences is not the build-up to Christmas in my book, it's the whole fun of December!

Long gone are the days of my grand-parents childhood when they were going to midnight mass, (literally midnight) had diner and presents after. The magic of being up half the night and a special night doesn't exist anymore.

You don't have to be religious to find something magical in a church covered in candles and the singing when you are a small child. Our schools still hold carol concerts in churches, most (or many?) families are not religious at all and still come

December would be very grim and dark without the parties, the lights, the fun.

Expectations on the actual day? It's up to you. I've never accepted that DH or I ruin the day and miss out on the children by spending any time in the kitchen -if it brings people joy, go for it. If it's unreasonable expectations about a fancy roast, plan better.

I found I cut back on shopping or just browsing in shops this year because I didn't want Christmas rammed down my throat whilst I'm perfectly happy enjoying being in the moment during autumn. I get buying a few bits early to spread the load but the displays are far too early.

This year was the worst I ever noticed it . Used to love waiting to see the Xmas things coming into shops . So unappreciated already. Next year I will try to encourage a Kris Kindle type of exchange instead of the usual unnecessary PJs , candles, toiletries. Or none at all just the meal.

Mumsnet is not real you know. It attracts the biggest whingers who think they are superior because they hate socialising etc hate anything like weddings, xmas birthdays etc
If someone came on here and said they had a lovely day they would be accused of bragging or being smug.

I love the build up to Christmas but my ‘build up’ is actually just an internal excitement because I don’t do anything different 😅
I enjoy seeing people’s lights go up in December (not before) and I enjoy that nice little feeling in the week leading up to Christmas.

The lengths people with small children go to actually spoils the magic of Christmas in my opinion. When I was a kid it was so special because the decorations and the ‘fuss’ in the shops and things only started a couple of weeks before Christmas, so it felt magical because when you started to see the Christmas things, you knew it really was nearly Christmas.

Now people do the elf thing, go to Lapland UK, go on the polar express thing and all sorts of other stuff for weeks and weeks before hand. Christmas is no longer the main event, it’s just a tag on to the rest. Even the stupid ‘Santa cam’ on Christmas Eve where it follows him around the globe ruins it. How kids watch any of this stuff and believe it, I don’t know. The whole excitement of Christmas for me as a child was the unknown. You just knew Father Christmas was coming but you didn’t really understand how or when, you just knew that when you woke up, he’d have been. The magic was in the secretiveness of it. You must get to sleep quickly so he can come!

I’m so glad I grew up in the 80s and early 90s. Christmas felt magical and we weren’t worn out by Christmas time. The magic lasted until New Year aswell, whereas it just sort of falls flat now afterwards.

I've thought this for a long while now. I'm sick to death of Christmas by the time it arrives. The overconsumption and commercialisation is a bit sickening. Plus, we're supposed to go inwards in winter, hibernation almost, slowing down and embracing sleep and rest. Not force ourselves out to multiple parties and forced jollity and socialising on the coldest darkest days of the year. It's bonkers. Christmas, as everything else, has been taken over by the big companies because they see the money spinning opportunities. Halloween, valentine's etc are going the same way. The pressure and obligations are ridiculous. I opt out as much as I can get away with.

I agree with others. We don’t even celebrate Christmas and I still have to talk myself out of ice skating, festive markets etc - it’s one thing if you want to do it, another if you feel compelled because it’s everywhere. And I feel schools (or our school, anyway) need to turn the dial down a notch. The pace of emails, activities, gifts, dress up days etc through December is quite overwhelming.

I agree. I had that awful flu earlier this month, so I had the inside of the house decorated before I got sick but not the outside. I went into the shops earlier this week to look for some new outside decorations and everything was gone. I realised now a days Christmas is 'over' on Christmas day. It means we're doing all the Christmas stuff at the same time as school being very busy, work being very busy, lots of once-a-year social occasions, and then nothing from the 26th onwards. So we're all burnt out and exhausted by Christmas itself. When I was younger all the socialising happened between Christmas and New Year.
Being sick this year made me do less and it all turned out fine.
I used to find Christmas stressful and then last year I saw a great post from a psychologist on Tik Tok about avoiding 'dopaminergic' energy by focussing on having, not wanting. And every time I caught myself in wanting energy, to consciously switch back to thinking about all that I have. It has helped me so much.

I think it’s up to all of us to decide how much to start and when, no one has to do the elf or December 1st boxes or half a dozen Santa visits.

I think it’s always been a tough time in some respects - the very long autumn term at school, shops and supermarkets putting everything out really early - those alone lead to a tendency for Christmas to be the end rather than the beginning.

but ultimately we decide where we put our own focus, mine this year is definitely on ‘the break’ rather than ‘the day’.

I actually did most of my shopping and wrapping in November so that I could cope when all the demands from school started ramping up in December. There are more than two weeks with daily requests for money, something to attend, something to bring in or something to remember. Was having panic attacks the year before trying to get it all sorted in December.