To think my DH is rude regarding gifts?

Sounds very frustrating!
If he feels cheeky asking for things though, how about suggesting he keeps a list of things he sees/thinks of that he only shares with you- so you have ideas when people ask?

As you have directly asked him and he seems unable to come up with a solution, tell people to give him nothing next year. Tell him that now, so he has a chance to come up with a solution if he disagrees.

Can you all agree to stop the exchanging of gifts? It all sounds so stressful and unnecessary.

I think that this goes quite deep. He's a man who has everything and nothing.

I don't see the problem - he says to get him nothing, so get him nothing 🤷‍♀️ foisting unwanted gifts on him then being offended that he isn't grateful seems daft. Just get him nothing, then it is problem solved. Donate to a charity in lieu if you really want to, then at least some good comes out of it.

Then get him nothing

although actually we leave big piles around and that’s part of the fun - seeing your pile

Well yeah he’s an ungrateful prick isn’t he!

I take it you've talked to him about this? What does he say?

I only said YABU because I think it is unreasonable for toddlers/ young children to be giving gifts to adults. My 3 are young adults and the last few years, as they have had part time jobs, is when they started to buy gifts and even then they are told not to spend more than £20.
It is very liberating to free yourself from Christmas being about presents. I would stick to something really simple for him like a framed family photo or collection of favourite food treats in future. You can just stick them all in kitchen cupboards if he leaves them. My kids often leave their gifts in the lounge for a week or so.

Agree with this. Tell him you've suggested it as he never seems to like ir be grateful for his gifts. There must come a point when you already have all the money and stuff you need.

But presumably you would thank people for them and not leave them in little untouched passive aggressive piles instead of putting them away?

Otherwise, if you honestly think his behaviour is normal or polite you should reconsider your own behaviour because you're probably upsetting a lot of people without realising.

And just brightly respond 'yes darling, just like you suggested nobody bought you anything because there was nothing you wanted', repeated ad nauseam.

Honestly OP he's a rude and passive aggressive arsehole. Stop pandering to him!! Some people value the opportunity to be a martyr more highly than they would value any gift but you don't have to all tiptoe around it. Take him at his word, stop buying gifts, and when he's passive aggressive remind him that he told you not to buy gifts, but that he's more than welcome to make suggestions in advance next year if he feels differently then.

His behaviour is rude and childish. That's what I'd tell him. I'd also tell people he would like a very cheap and simple gift eg. Dairy milk bar.

If he has plenty of money, knows they do not yet is still demanding of gifts and ungrateful, the issue is all his.

Edited: typos

Tbf, if people got me tea/alcohol/chocolate that I liked, I'd absolutelt be grateful to receive them but I wouldn't necessarily want to get stuck into them on Christmas Day itself, nor the days immediately following (which are generally pretty full of treats, as is). His behavior sounds pretty normal, to me?

Ditto, even if I loved them, I wouldn't be immediately rushing to wear all of my new socks.

YANBU, he's being very rude. It's not hard to say thank you in a nice way and at least put things away in the proper places.

I think after Christmas you should say to your DH that you're going to tell your family not to buy him gifts next year, as it's wasting their money and not making him happy. Then you can tell your parents that DH would be happier if they spent their money on a donation to charity instead. You can suggest to your DH that he advise his family to do the same.

If you generally like him, I’d have a conversation asking him what he’d have actually liked to be given for Christmas. Sometimes when people are impossible, they genuinely don’t realise it until you show them.

Well quite honestly I'd just take him at his word and just let him sulk. Why pander to him?

He sounds a thoroughly selfish ill mannered entitled man if he doesn't appreciate people buying him presents

You and the other people whose presents he disdains should donate the money to a homeless charity or something similar. To a cause that would actually appreciate it.

Mine is exactly the same. I occasionally come across things he likes but if I don’t see anything I think he’ll genuinely love I just don’t bother.

what a twat! My DP doesn’t like family buying him stuff, they all have less money than us and he hates people buying him stuff for the sake of it. He’d truly be happy if no one got him anything.

My partner wouldn't really care if he got a present or not. But he buys gifts and is (now) very good at looking pleased and being thankful for gifts he gets. I think your husband should make more effort frankly. Otherwise he just comes over as a self centered egotist.

My DH is also high-earning, buys himself things he wants/needs when he needs them, and hates tat/clutter. He has hobbies, but he already has all the gear he needs for them. After many years of trying and failing to buy him thoughtful gifts, I gave up a long time ago.

However, unlike your husband, my DH is entirely happy getting no presents - and has been very clear with our daughters that they aren’t to waste their money buying him things he won’t use. I would find it very unattractive if he refused to give any indication of things to get for him and then spent Christmas sulking.

All very well not opening families gifts, suggesting charity donations etc, all brilliant ideas, but not opening the gift from your dd, is not acceptable. Its rude and upsetting for her, mostly it teaching her shes not worth the bother! Just sounds a total arse whole. No amount of money can buy manners or respect for your child!!!