To think my DH is rude regarding gifts?

This is why I just don't get adults buying Christmas presents for other adults (I buy a few nice things for DH to be honest). The whole thing sounds so ridiculous if you think too hard about it. It's like swapping money for things you don't want and everyone does it.

I wonder how much cash Jeff Bozos skims off Christmas gifting.

Why do they bother buying him gifts? Tell them all to stop.

Give him a quality etiquette guide and heavily mark the gift giving and receiving parts.

Maybe he can learn some quality manners because his aren't.

Yes, he's rude as fuck.

why died your family but him gifts at all? Just bring a decent bottle if something snd leave it at that.
My FIL doesn’t give gifts and at 85 doesn’t want and more clutter but when we visit I bring a token something - I brought some hyacinth bulbs planted in a wicker basket this year.
As for what you give him - tricky. My DH earned 20 times what I did but he didn’t tend to buy for himself. A liberty tie, a nice jumper, a book. He’d be happy with that.

Nope. He hates gifts. He hates pretending to be pleased. He hates the whole thing around Christmas. If he could avoid it he would. But he loves a nice meal.

He sounds a miserable sod either way, whether he gets a present or not. Wrap him an empty box seeing as he can't even be bothered to open anything.

Definitely donate to charity instead. Sponsor an animal at a sanctuary, that's inexpensive but really helps them, especially the small sanctuaries. There's usually a little card with information on as well. Or homeless shelters. Whatever. It sounds like it would spread more joy that way and he can sit and pout all he wants.

He's being a nob.

Tell them to buy a goat or a mango tree or whatever in his name. And that is it until he tells people what he wants

Absolutely nailed it with this post .

He does unwrap them, OP is upset that he doesn't open/use/try the gifts themselves promptly after opening.

There's no indication that he doesn't say thank you.

He should ask them to donate to a cause instead. That way he doesn’t have to clear anything or socially accept anything, they feel good and he looks charitable.

Have you had a candid conversation about this? About how hard he is to buy for? About the lack of thought he puts into presents for others? About the signals he gives off when he leaves his presents unopened? About what he is teaching his young DD when he ignores what she's got him? About his his incredibly childish sulking if people see the signals he gives off and stop buying him anything?

I really think you should stop buying his family stuff from him. Send them something from yourself and your DC if you want to, but make him engage if he wants the benefit of being thought of as thoughtful and generous in this way.

He sounds insufferable OP. The most lovely people I know are the ones who appreciate others’ generosity and value people’s thoughtfulness. As a previous poster said, your DH appears to know the price of everything but the value of nothing. How very depressing. He will have a sad and lonely future (while wearing expensive underwear, aftershave and clothes)!

Do you not have an idea of what he’d actually like to receive? It’s odd that you can’t make a stab at it based on what he buys for himself / his interests / his style. It sounds like you all keep buying him things he doesn’t like.

Ask him if he'd rather receive nothing.

Mine is similar in not needing or wanting presents and he really doesn’t like tat/ unnecessary presents, however he asks us not to buy him anything, and he genuinely means it. The DC get him a token gift for no more than £10 as they’re young, and he will open and make the right response, however I don’t get him anything, and neither do family. He’s fine with this, and he’s also generous in his gift giving to us. Your H sounds very rude and I would stop gifts to him other than from the DC.

You can’t ever win, can you?

And he is making it exactly so you can’t.

ignore. Don’t get him gifts ever. Remind him why not when he complains. And don’t get dragged into a conversation about it.

it seems he doesn’t unwrap and say thank you.

Nobody said anything about doing a performative jig.

Why are you with a guy who's always so negative? Would do my head in !

I think someone should give him a book on manners.

My ex is like this although not high earning any more. He has a small (because he has no friends and his family don’t give a fuck about him) pile of unopened gifts and cards downstairs (we are still living together until house sold). It was just one of many wanker behaviours that I eventually gave up
on.
There are unopened presents from years ago in the cupboard and he won’t ever exchange anything either.

I'd do exactly that. Especially from the kids. Part of gift giving is the dopamine boost from seeing someone be happy with a gift. It's partly selfish and why would anyone want to deny anyone a bit of dopamine in these strange times?

Then I'd be telling family to get him stuff I would use personally. That way there's no waste.

Or tell everyone to get him socks. Lots ans lots of socks. See if he notices. Make a game of it.

To not open presents and say thank you is just rude

To me it would depend on whether he is being ordinarily polite/appreciative when he receives the gift. If so, I'd just see if you can get him to take his gifts into the bedroom or wherever they'd go before going to bed on Christmas Day. If not, I'd suggest stopping all gift exchanges among adults (his extended family will probably be relieved). Then try to get him to behave regarding the gifts from the children. If he can't or won't, perhaps the children can switch to getting the two of you a joint gift next year, so at least one of you is appreciative?