To be so fucking thankful I'm single?

Did you mean to quote me?

I too understand the "freedom" and wonderful life that is "single" probably more than anyone: I and 38 and have never ever had a relationship. So what I dont know about being single isnt worth knowing!

But I am able to appreciate and acknowledge that very good healthy relationships exist.

Yes I completely understand that, there just seemed to be an idea emerging that people who say they’re happier living with their partners just haven’t had the chance to live alone and don’t know how good it is.
I lived with my ex for a few years. It had its ups and downs, it wasn’t hideous but equally there was obviously a reason we split (although we’re still friends 20 years later). LOVED living alone and being single for the next 5 years. Had the time of my life! I thought I’d never live with anyone again. Then met my DH. I’m not sure I’d live with anyone again if anything happened to him, but equally I couldn’t imagine not living with him.
As you say, we’re all different.

If you are a genuine person and believe your own words, I honestly hope you are OK and haven't been brainwashed.

And that’s why we’re all different and not the bitter twisted old crones that some think.

I’ve experienced both - married 25 years to a man I’m still good friends with and I loved our time together but now I’ve experiences living alone, I couldn’t live either anyone again.

People tend to post looking for support and advice so its going to overwhelmingly be negative posts. Its a million percent better to be single than in a crappy relationship, and choosing to stay single is just a good a choice as choosing to be in a relationship despite the youre missing out and just bitter brigades insistence.

in this case the kettle is kettle for a cuppa tea, although i do recommend a good tool box with tools from ann summers and bad dragon companies

My point was that choosing to be single isn’t just about avoiding “bad” men. For many it is a particular lifestyle choice and one which evidence shows is often very good for women’s wellbeing.

I’ve experienced both, and while I absolutely loved living alone and being single, I love being with my DH more.

For me, now that I have experienced the single life I just can’t go back, no matter how nice the man.

I choose the single life even though there are huge cultural advantages to being part of a couple: A wife or mother is viewed as having a higher status than a single woman who is often viewed as sad and lonely. If only they knew.

I haven’t seen anyone on here push the narrative that only men want sex. I want really great sex. I won’t tolerate anything less. Many men don’t seem to understand women’s bodies and, like almost everything else in the patriarchy, sex is often male focused with women’s needs an afterthought. Take a look at our culture - our films, fashion etc and you’ll see what I mean.

I adore my husband, but when I look at some of the fuckers I've been with before... I realise I am lucky to have a 'unicorn' and can well see why so many women are choosing to stay single.

Definitely better to be single than in a relationship with the wrong man.

If it helps I did start a thread yesterday praising the good ones as I too was disheartened reading all the threads about shit men.

There were lots of replies from those with lovely men too 😊

Absolutely agree... although I do worry a bit about being older and alone in practical terms. A single elderly neighbour broke a hip recently and wasn't found for a long time - it was lucky postie happened to come past and hear her shout.

Hell yes. It’s been quite a long time since we split up but I still look back with irritation at how my then-partner agreed a 50/50 split on everything - housework, finances etc - and then promptly started pushing the boundaries. He was too tired to do the washing up (his job) because he’d got up early for work, it wasn’t fair I’d bought a 50p chocolate bar with the weekly shop when I was hungry because he shouldn’t have to subsidise me, he shouldn’t have to do as much laundry because he felt more of the clothes in the laundry basket were mine. On and on and on, and yet he genuinely thought he was being treated unfairly. Thank fuck I didn’t have children with him - mind you, he still expected me to sort his life out for him after we’d separated!

It’s funny there is a saying: “Single women keep other women single.”

A lot of men make women prefer being single. We look at the entitled men who think women are a trophy to be shown off or an asset to benefit from (I’m still salty about the man who said I’d be a good wife for someone because I can cook), with crap attitudes, a permanent sense of being hard-done-by and more baggage than BA. And we think “Nah, fuck that for a lark” and go and enjoy ourselves being single instead.

I do thank my lucky fucking stars I was born when I was mind; a couple of generations before me and that just wasn’t an option.

I'm in a very happy relationship, I just don't post about it. He cooked Christmas dinner and tidied up afterwards. But I was in a couple of bad relationships and had many years single in my 20s and 30s. I liked being single and I definitely think it's better to be single than be with the wrong person. But if you get lucky enough to find the right person it's pretty great too.

What saddens me even more than these threads about men not helping out around the home is hearing about it in real life. One of my colleagues describes her husband as 'useless' and that's why she has to do everything. She never, ever mentions leaving him. It just seems to be an accepted dynamic. The other colleague I have is male. He says his wife 'does everything' (childcare, managing the home, making Christmas happen). I often think, does she want to do everything or have you given her no choice? Very sad what goes on behind closed doors. Even sadder that it's accepted.

I left my husband years ago because he did nothing to help me out around the house or keep our marriage going with love and respect. I tried, and failed, many times to get him to be an equal partner but he called it 'women's work.' I just couldn't put up with that for the rest of my life. I'm much happier alone.

*DeftWasp · Today 09:38
I'll give a male perspective - I'm a nice, decent chap in mid 40's. Two serious relationships, the first cheated on me and left (leaving me heartbroken), the second, for no reason decided to up and go

Men often say someone left for no reason when what they actually mean is the reason didn’t make sense to them. People don’t leave for no reason.

I think some expectations are completely the wrong way around too.

He has young kids, he should give up all his hobbies and friends and weekends must be FAMILY TIME! (well, apparently Saturday is cleaning the house Day, and family time Sunday on MN 😂) How dare he planning a sport one afternoon/ day every weekend!

ahem... what about MUM gets some kind of life and does a sport and activity and start seeing friends? What about mums stop having such a narrow-minded and claustrophobic view of the world and gets some kind of life too? You just share the children-free time. I am not a bad mum because I do sports and I am take a few days off regularly

Or we have: he takes the children outside WRONG! he took the wrong hat! Gave snacks at the wrong time! Who said you're having the only say in terms of right hat or right snack?
Then we have threads about mothers who must put the kids at nursery on their days off because they couldn't possibly cope! But moan that dads who have been working all week too would like a bit of time off too?

I absolutely don’t want to be the one coming on to say how happy their relationship is and how great their partner is but it’s true.

It makes me furious there are so many shit and awful partners and dads out there. I will continue to direct my anger towards those shit men and not the partners who stay. The reasons for not leaving are so complex and these women don’t need yet more anger and judgment which is often what they get on here.

I agree with the posters also saying that we can define the relationships we want too. We don’t have to get married, live together, have children and completely merge our lives if that doesn’t work for us. We don’t have to lose ourselves to a relationship and I think part of the problem is that’s what happens.

Date, live separately, do what feels good rather than what you think you should do. Not every relationship needs to look the same way.

There was yet another thread the other day talking about how your partner should be your most committed and important relationship but how risky and short sighted is that? To make your world so small that your life revolves around one relationship. I don’t feel that’s healthy at all and if it goes wrong it can leave people alone and isolated.

Well mine is fabulous

I think this is me. I am content as I am which includes being single. I don’t have strong views on men and think I am equally not the marriage / relationship type (as in what is required of women in relationships is at complete odds with who I am as a person.)

There are some good ones out there, my DH works hard, has always more than pulled his weight in the house/ with the kids, and is very thoughtful/ generous with gifts. Been happily together for 25 years. I personally wouldn’t put up with any of the rubbish I see on here, I would rather be on my own than with a selfish dickhead.

For those with a genuine unicorn, you are very, very lucky. There are not enough to go around for all of us.

what I find amusing is that assumption that we (women) are perfect and a gift from above.

I am not sure the majority of women are the catch they think they are either 😂Some of the posters on here who (allegedly) are women sound horrendous.

So many threads about an ex DH rushing to marry his new girlfriend and have a very happy relationship leaving a very bitter very jealous ex wife. Ever occurred to anyone that DH might have learnt lessons from his first mistakes , but also that the new relationship is happy simply because the new wife is not the ex-wife, and much more pleasant to live with?

Yawn.

The “all women who are single must be bitter” is such a tired misogynistic trope.

It posits that a male partner is a requirement for a woman to be content in life.

Yabu DH is absolutely brilliant couldn’t have done Christmas without him