To be so fucking thankful I'm single?

I don't think women hate men in general.

They hate men who are abusive, lazy, cheats, useless fathers, porn addicts, expect them to be their unpaid maids and cooks.

I think it is very disingenuous to suggest we don't have major issues in our society with toxic masculinity.

Women are still the ones who do most of the childcare and home admin. Violence against women and girls is a constant issue.

You can't just pretend that this is not the reality.

Often, yes, it’s passed through the generations.

Im with you OP!! Ive been single for a year, happiest ive been in yonks! Everywhere i go im in constant earshot of couples arguing and constantly sniping at each other, soooo exhausting!!! (But refreshing for me) we are free!!!💓

Trained by whom, exactly? Their mothers?

Or they are desperate for babies. “He’s not perfect but I want kids so he’ll have to do”.

Or they have chosen a man who was never that keen to have kids in the first place and needed persuading - or got pregnant “by accident” and are then surprised when he doesn’t take to fatherhood.

Women are trained to put men on pedestals, to be handmaiden and ignore the red flags.

I woke up this morning from the most restful night, I slept like a starfish in the middle of my bed, with my little dog curled against me.
It was glorious.
I thought about this thread and felt very very grateful to be single.

I guess it’s going to be the inevitable nature of a thread like this though isn’t it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Three truly lovely kind men in this house. I realise I’m lucky to have them. My father was another loving, clever, generous, funny guy. I’m so thankful for that, as I suppose it has ramifications down the line as to who I then chose as my partner and how we bring our sons up to be in the world.

Agree! Ive been single for nearly 3 years, apart from a disastrous 4 week stint this summer with someone who turned out to be a pyschopathic stalker, which has confirmed my suspicion that men are too risky to have in my life. 'Not all men' obviously but its just not worth it. Giving one a chance has left me with anxiety, legal action to deal with, and literal nightmares. Staying single seems like a simple way to stay safer and happier.

In my experience, the son could do no wrong and the mother ignored his behaviour. She almost treated him like some god. She treated his sister like she could do nothing right and yet she was the one who kept in touch and actually saw her.

I think this is mostly because lots of women choose shit men, and don’t spot, or choose to ignore, the red flags early on in the relationship. And then they get angry and bitter about the poor choice they made.

There are many awful men, but in my experience there are equally many awful women too.

The notion that women are just wonderful people and men are inferior scumbags is misandrist bullshit peddled mostly by women who are themselves awful… Most women who are kind, decent and reasonable don’t view the sexes in such a cartoonish “women good, men bad” way.

The main difference between awful men and awful women out there is the awful men are more likely to be violent towards women…. That’s the main concern I have.

@SoftBalletShoes

we needed to make sure we had $20 cash for a tip

What?! A $20 tip for your cleaner every time she comes over? That’s insane. As a Brit, I’ll never understand American ridiculous tipping culture and why you don’t just agree the rate you’ll pay, and pay it… full stop.

It puts cleaners and other service workers at a massive disadvantage…they have rely on the whims of the people they work for, and whether they deign to pay you that “tip” that you relying because it’s such a significant part of your wage.

This is pure 4Chan.

100%!!

what’s the saying?… men are scared women might laugh at them…. Women are scared men will kill them!”

I’m sure if you raise them to respect Women then they’ll find a partner who adores them….

I just wonder about the mothers (and yes, I know fathers have responsibilities too) who are raising these dreadful and useless men. How have they turned out this way?

Oh yes, I remember that.

And yes. She's absolutely right.

I did have Xmas last year with my ( live out) partner, 2 of my kids ( and partners/ family) and my ex ( father of one of them. )

It was a lovely day

Another happily single woman and mother. I m literally allergic to male humour and entitlement. As for the handmaiden, male, arse hole whisperer, fawning for approval, spare me.

Easily sorted with a panic button or making sure that you have your phone on you. Half of all married people will end up needing to do this too, since usually one dies before the other, and adult children often move away.

100%…. Women make too many excuses for their partners… for men in general.
I see it with mum and their sons too… JUST ‘boys being boys” attitude… then it’s “JUST men being men!”….

Men get away with letting us do all the parenting… I found it pretty interesting today watching my SIL playing with their kids while my DB snoozed!… SIL rolling eyes because she was the one up early this morning with them…. Mean while the older generations all saying “Oh poor man.. he’s exhausted”…. Me and SIL & my teen DD all exchange looks and eye rolls 🤣🙄

I’ve been single 3 years… and like you OP I’m happy to stay that way and reading Mumsnet posts always makes me thankful that I’ve not got a man making me utterly bloody miserable! I used to hate having to constantly compromise my own wants and needs to keep him happy!…. I feel like I sacrificed so much of myself to keep him happy… and he still left…. But when he said he was going I felt relief… and honestly have not missed him, not even once!

I think more and more women are realising we are strong and independent and happier without a man!

Ever occurred to anyone that the reason the wife is unpleasant to live with is because she's run ragged by her useless husband?

We could go round in circles forever like this!

Another one who has no idea that the dickheadery doesn't usually start until you're well and truly caught, and even then is mixed up with lots of non-dick-headery until you don't know which way is up or what to believe.

I'm glad that your experiences are so good that it's left you totally naive as to how bad relationships actually work.

So smug, all the posters in good relationships who are all "Oh, I would never put up with that!"

Similarly, lots of people say they would never give a spouse who'd strayed another chance, and then it happens, and they do.

Best to leave the judgement behind.

Yes you could. He's not some magical being that did a bunch of stuff that you couldn't possibly.