To be so fucking thankful I'm single?

It depends what you mean by abuse. I know of very few relationships where there is real equality. I see women still doing the lion’s share of housework as though they are their partner’s slave. Every woman I know has experience a profound and irrevocable change to her lifestyle after marriage and kids while the men’s lives remain pretty much the same or are enhanced by having a family. No wonder women have to be brainwashed to believe they need a man to be fulfilled. A lot of young women are seeing right through the con and refusing to be brainwashed.

Me too. I don't dislike men in general but I'm more than happy being single. I really don't think I'm the marrying kind anyway.

I'm never lonely.

On the other hand, hundreds of thousands of people have had a wonderful Xmas with their families, and are too busy enjoying life to care about telling mumsnet about it.

To be honest I think the vast majority of relationships are not abusive and are generally happy. Not perfect sure - but I think if you’re judging relationships based on mums net threads, you’re getting a biased perspective.

I always spend Christmas with my ex (so that the kids can have both of us on Xmas day) and he’s perfectly pleasant and nice to me, them and my parents.

But, I am so thankful that I’m single!!!!

I’m not bitter and unhinged. Ridiculous to accuse all the women on MN of thinking and behaving the same way. Obviously the women who post about their relationships are more likely to be in unhappy ones. Obviously the decent, kind, loving men are more likely to be in loving relationships so not available. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to think that any single men left are unlikely to fall into the decent, kind, loving category.

I have two sons and both met their girlfriends at a young age and have not looked for anyone else. They have never been interested in multiple, unsatisfactory relationships. They’ve either been single or happy with their partners. There are also a substantial minority of men who think they’re way better than women. They don’t see women as people. You just have to spend a short time reading the newspapers or online to see that.

I’m proud of women these days warning each other of the red flags and validating women for their choice to be alone. I still believe it’s better to be in a happy, fulfilling, respectful relationship than alone. However I think the chances of finding that at an older age are much reduced so I can completely understand women not wanting to go through all that again and warning each other of the risks. That’s not being misandrists that’s being pragmatic and responsible.

Single. Also NC with mum. Low contact with dad. It's literally just me and 2 dc. Sometimes I feel a bit sad that they don't get the big family Christmas like other kids. But reading recent threads I'm feeling quite grateful that it's just us 3. Two teenagers, similar movie/music interests, enjoy the same snacks, like the same board games. We also have Chinese takeaway for Christmas dinner every year as I work nightshift over Christmas. The whole day is very chilled out, peaceful, low maintenence. I've had two friends on phone/text tonight venting about their parents, partners, inlaws etc. I've had a really lovely, chilled out day. My dc always work together to pick me a present that they know I'll love, even at 14 and 15 they still make me handmade cards because they know I prefer them. I'm feeling extra grateful for it all tonight.

All the women on here can’t all be bitter and unhinged. All the statistics out there in the real world that reveal a pandemic of male violence against women can’t be made up. If men don’t like what’s being said about them they need to do something to change the narrative. And quick.

Adored for existing. Love it 😂

What do you do with the kettle? Is kettle a code word for something else? And where can I buy me such a magic kettle?

I'm brand new to being single. I have been happily married for nearly 30 years - or so I thought. 6 weeks ago my husband left me for someone else. We weren't rowing or distant and cold. We were a happy family. I still have whiplash. But... I already know I won't ever look for someone new. It's been hard to reimagine life without the man I thought was my best friend, but he has been so cruel and hurtful that I would never take him back (not that he's asking!) and it's even harder to imagine some other bloke in my home. Ewww. Nope. No thank you. Me, my kids, and the cat. And then, in time, me and the cat. That's me done.

I'm thankful every single day!

The amount of boring, lazy, incompetent, unattractive middle aged men who expect to be adored for what? Existing?

Imagine growing old with them 🤢

I've been single for 8 years. I miss an intimate physical relationship, but my word, life is so much easier without a resident man.

Home is happier
Food is healthier
Holidays are more relaxed
Everything gets done faster
Very little moaning
No criticism
MUCH better financially
Nothing gets broken
No toxic relatives. Mine see each other twice a year, enjoy that, but don't push for more so easy to get on with.

I'm sure there are lovely men out there (I have a son who is lovely) but most men are puzzingly, and definitely lazy.

I’d rather be single than with an idiot. There are good, walking, talking, thoughtful men, but they don’t appear to be the majority!

the problem is men in general prove whats on mumsnet, so yes not all men, but certainly a good percentage etc

I think it shows just how many women are single on MN. So many threads you open the bitterness, venom and hatred of men is palpable. One can only hope that endless narrative that all men are this and all men are that is not being drummed into children’s heads the way it flows so readily from the keyboards of their mothers. It’s actually quite sad. Cue the personal attacks for not spewing bile and having a negative opinion of men…

I just can't imagine staying for 10+ YEARS hoping for a proposal. I was getting so impatient around the 1.5-2 year mark.... these women have the patience of a saint apparently lmao

What sad is when they have kids with these losers. The poor children have to suffer.

I agree 100% with most of the posters on this thread. Ive been single all my life (apart from a very brief marriage) and am child free by choice.

You can live alone without being lonely.

I had a memory the other day that hit me of when my ex used to break up from work and would go to the pub and he literally wouldn’t be sober again til he went back to work after Christmas , which caused a lot of rows and him falling asleep drunk on Xmas day …

I don’t miss it !!! I feel relieved I don’t have to deal with that again and if i have to stay single to avoid men like this then I will .

My DD is a carer and she come home this morning telling me the story of how one of her service users adult Sons car being on the drive and she mentioned it and he said ohhh he must’ve come back and fell asleep , turns out the Son has a wife and kids and was probably in the dog house this morning . Me and DD did laugh together coz his Dad had no idea he was there so if the wife had rang and asked where her husband was , the Dad wouldn’t have had a clue even though the son actually was at the house 🤣🤣
This also made me glad to be single and not being let down by a man at Xmas !

Am with you OP, so many useless, immature men in this world and a frightening number of abusers, love my freedom

Agreed.

All these threads about lazy, useless or abusive men are so depressing to read. But ultimately remind me why I choose to be single.

and no one saying where the pickle you been till this time of the night etc,

I am single as well, as of May, but I am pretty lonely and I really can't wait to find my person soon!

Altho I agree 100% with you. The amount of women complaining about their bum husbands on here the last week or so makes me astonished at how many women settled for the bare minimum, and put up with it for DECADE(s)!!!!

It took me 3ish years to see that my ex was manipulating me and lying to me about where our relationship was going (I wanted marriage/kids, he didn't but he strung me along) and I thought I was the buffoon for taking 3 years to see through his lies. But there's women here waiting longer than a decade in some cases for a ring.... I read a woman the other day say it took her's 25 YEARS to propose like 2 days ago.😭