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Original poster

Awful Xmas day now this

68 replies

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 01:16

So Xmas day has been argumentative all day when the kids weren’t around. He never brought me any gifts (I know it’s not about that) but had no thanks of him for his gifts. He had a Xmas card in the side tha he’d brought for the kids to write me. He never asked them to do it but was able to get the kids to do one for his parents and presents. He went to bed at 7:30 as I was watching tv and he didn’t like that as he wanted to watch something. I said watch it on your phone or in the kitchen like I have to normally do. I’ve now just gone to turn the heating up and he’s taken the thermostat of the stand. Is this some sort of abusive behaviour?! Who even takes the thermostat!!!

OP posts:
WakeUpchangeChannelSleeeeeep · 26/12/2025 09:36

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

Fucks sake, honest to God OP, read that back and make a plan. Let someone else have the 'gift' that he is.

BigMommasHouse · 26/12/2025 09:34

Don’t buy him anything else again, ever. Leave!

Eyeshadow · 26/12/2025 09:29

Him going to bed early is fine.

Everything else is not.

You should never feel like a child in your relationship.
It is your home and your thermostat, he does not get to take it.

This is obviously an ongoing pattern to his behaviour which isn’t going to get any better.
I’d make 2026 the year which I out myself first and he either sorts himself out or I’d be done.

localnotail · 26/12/2025 09:18

All these threads today about awful partners people live with makes me grateful I am single!

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/12/2025 08:48

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

:(

It's New Year soon and as a Scot I believe in making New Year's Resolutions. You know what yours should be - make yesterday the last time he EVER had the opportunity to be the "abusive twat" that he is. Always remember that he punished your children with a cold house just to punish you. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for them.

pilates · 26/12/2025 08:34

He doesn’t like you very much does he.

NewYears resolution; get rid of your old rubbish including your husband.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 08:26

Plan to chuck him out, but in the short term buy your own fan heater and one each for the kids.

Hawkinsresident · 26/12/2025 08:24

Return the gifts you got him and buy a big electric fire heater with plug in. Keep yourself and kids warm and safe

Toomuch44 · 26/12/2025 08:19

Sorry, but not letting you have any heat as a form of punishment is abusive. He obviously doesn't appreciate you and respect you.

Not saying you leave him right this second, but I'd find out what my options are - if he doesn't change, there could well be a time when you feel and know enough is enough.

Sadza · 26/12/2025 08:05

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 03:26

I would wake him to get it but dread the aftermath. I think he’s just become an abusive twat. I have no idea why but he’s always been difficult. But this is a low for him. Saying that it’s not the first time he’s taken the thermostat when we’ve had an argument and I’ve had to work at home in the cold. (500 odd year old farm house so it holds no heat at all)

I can assure you that if someone had taken the thermostat from me once, it wouldn’t happen a second time. Your poor kids. There is a new year coming, clean sweep needed.

pictoosh · 26/12/2025 08:02

He sounds like a saboteur...casting gloom on special occasions because he wants to control the atmosphere. Taking the thermostat is downright nasty.
What an arsehole.

ChikinLikin · 26/12/2025 07:55

LTB.

tara66 · 26/12/2025 07:54

Buy multiple electric heaters asap - from his or joint money. Amazon is your friend as you live remotely.

Springtimehere · 26/12/2025 07:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Splinting · 26/12/2025 07:34

What a nasty man.

Theunamedcat · 26/12/2025 07:30

You dont need a solicitor to file for divorce

Interpink · 26/12/2025 07:21

Yep. No relationship ever recovers from this level of contempt. He won’t just wake up one day and decide to stop being a twat.

Bin him.

caringcarer · 26/12/2025 07:19

Remember how you feel cold and upset now. As soon as solicitors open pop across and start divorce proceedings. He sounds an abusive knob. He'd rather make his kids freeze just to punish you.

Ponoka7 · 26/12/2025 07:13

You need to start messaging him, or recording phone calls. It's abusive to the children as well as you. It sounds as though things are escalating and it's eventually going to lead to a split. He'll direct harm to the children to punish you and you need evidence.

Interpink · 26/12/2025 07:13

Two things : if it’s a Hive system you can download the app and control the heating from there.

secondly : it’s over. Get out and stay out. Next Christmas you will be warm and calm and peaceful.

k1233 · 26/12/2025 06:55

I don't have a thermostat, but by the fact he can take it does that mean you can buy your own and keep it hidden so the next time he takes it you can use yours and turn up the heat? Then play dumb about how it got to that temp as he had the thermostat didn't he?

Cando6 · 26/12/2025 06:10

If it’s a sudden change then can I be the first to suggest it’s often a sign of someone who’s checked out of the marriage and doing that classic thing of behaving like an arse to justify their decision because they’re not mature or brave enough to use their words.
Can you have a neutral and non confrontational talk with him about why he is acting like someone who despises you? Then take it from there.

Leftittothelastminute · 26/12/2025 06:01

Can you control the heating from your phone? This is one of the worst posts I’ve read OP and normally don’t jump on the LTB train but I’ll make an exception for this….. you definitely need to consider your options and make 2026 the year to get rid of this abusive man.

Horrorscope · 26/12/2025 05:41

Start making plans to have an arsehole-free 2026…

d317 · 26/12/2025 05:33

namechangeforthisstory · 26/12/2025 01:16

So Xmas day has been argumentative all day when the kids weren’t around. He never brought me any gifts (I know it’s not about that) but had no thanks of him for his gifts. He had a Xmas card in the side tha he’d brought for the kids to write me. He never asked them to do it but was able to get the kids to do one for his parents and presents. He went to bed at 7:30 as I was watching tv and he didn’t like that as he wanted to watch something. I said watch it on your phone or in the kitchen like I have to normally do. I’ve now just gone to turn the heating up and he’s taken the thermostat of the stand. Is this some sort of abusive behaviour?! Who even takes the thermostat!!!

Are all christmases similar to this op ?