To think the magic of small children at Christmas is a load of old bollocks

Small children can be hard no matter the day. We have a 3 year old and DH and I had our hands full. My childfree siblings probably breathed a sigh of relief when we left lol. On our departure they all would have played card games and watched movies with my parents. That would have been lovely for them once the circus left😂

I loved it when they were little and my children who are now older confirmed that I made it very magical for them.

I just hope that if I have an GC one day that I can share in that magic once again. I’d love to see the day I can arm myself with glitter and Weetabix and make ‘reindeer food’ again.

When my youngest where kids many years ago it was lovely now I've got young kids again 20 years later and its not the same. I know I am older but there is just so much more stuff there is pressure on you to do, buy and be. I think young children are truly overwhelmed by it all and enjoy it less too. The "magic" is in the gaps I always think the empty space around Christmas and now we try to fill everything up to make memories and so on and it has the opposite effect. I do try to keep things more "old skool" but then the kids moan they are missing out on stuff their friends are doing.

I loved the magic when they were tiny but these last few years have been incredible now they are young adults. I like to think that the work we put in when they were tiny made them three thoughtful adults they are today, but it's probably just as much chance!

I love it but we keep Christmas relatively low key in our house.
My view is very much that if I’m going to get stress me out it’s usually not worth it. I think people get the idea that christmas magic = everything having to be full on and ‘instagram worthy’ which is total nonsense. Small children just think it’s magic to have mum and dad’s full attention for the day and some colourful lights up and chocolate for breakfast

Oh thank the lord! I was like good grief, that’s just fucking tragic if true 🫶

I wasn't being serious 😆. But this is what the poster was afraid of right? The poster is afraid that her children will be traumatised when they find out FC isnt real and that they would need years of therapy to come to terms with it.

Are you serious? I can’t tell.

If that is true, the child’s issues didn’t start and end at Santa not being real. They were caused by many other reasons.

its kind of like when a parent complains their child was hungry during the night and they had to feed them at 3am… in reality, they didn’t have any proper meals all day and were just underfed going to bed.

*If you tell your kids Santa is literally real, and your kids honestly believe it, then finding out your parents have constructed and maintained a lie, can be devastating for some kids.
Why risk it for ‘magic’ that exists anyway without the lie?
*

True. Someone i know has been in therapy for years since she found out that Father Christmas wasn't real, and that her parents contructed and maintained a lie. In fact, she gets a full on panic attack whenever she sees a santa costume.

Congratulations ❤️

But that's the thing - we still do stockings!, we still do sacks of gifts. We still visit grottos. They love their stockings... They're so excited to see what is there in the morning. They love all the things, except they just know that Santa is make-believe. From when they asked if Santa was real or not we said there was a real person called St Nicholas who used to deliver gifts in the past, so that's where the tradition comes from. It doesn't detract from the magic at all.

I don't think one stocking of presents per child is "consumerism gone mad"! They're not very big - well ours aren't and amongst other things, they always contain clementines (one child would be sad to not get these) and chocolate coins.

This totally. Mil is lamenting. I'm enjoying Christmas so much more.

I can't even remember what was on the list but doing those things with little children always seemed more stressful because someone always -

Needs a wee,
Has hurting legs,
Wants to buy something,
Thinks a sibling is looking at them,
Wants to go home,
Wants to stay longer,
Finds a vending machine,
Hurts themselves,
Hurts a sibling either intentionally or accidentally,
Says they're bored,
Drops their ice cream/chips/drink,
Wanders off,
Or all of the above.

So it's not always as enjoyable as the Instagrammers would want you to believe.

Whilst telling others they can’t enjoy Christmas with young children.

You said ‘Not if you actually want to enjoy any of it’.

If you didn’t manage to enjoy it, that’s an issue with you, it doesn’t mean others haven’t. I loved Xmas when my kids were young and I still very much enjoy it now my children are older.

But telling people that they can’t enjoy Christmas with little children isn’t condescending at all. 🧐 The reply was deserved.

It involves your 25 year old DD taking over all the prep and cooking 😂
DD prepped our tapas brunch (all I had to do was make the tortilla), then cooked the goose along side leeks baked in Brie and cranberries, sprouts with pancetta, miso parsnips, asparagus and roast potatoes.
she even cooked her sisters fillet steak (not a fan of goose)!
then presented us with some port poached pears with a vanilla custard.

Thats a Christmas with adult children 😂

To be fair, she loves cooking but this was the first year she offered to take it all on.

all we had to do was pay for it.

Best Christmas EVER!!!

So far my best were my 30s single Christmases. My sisters and I would rent a cute cottage somewhere in a scenic part of the UK. Lots of wine, lots of cold wintry walks, eating our body weight in cheese, board games, books, films.

They were pretty magic.

Mine are now 19 and 12 and it's so much easier now. It was lovely when they were small but it's so much better now. No more creeping around pretending Santa has been. We can play games, enjoy watching the same movies it's bliss. I feel like its more chilled out, no tantrums, tears and screaming lol We're ready to watch volume 2 of Stranger Things today. Over 3 hours of it with a Macdonalds 😁🎅

That’s a bit condescending. Ability to manage all those things well depends on multitudes of factors: mental health, physical health, family support, children’s health, job stress/demands, general executive function factors, perimenopause, etc etc etc.

I was on the fence about this.
Until Christmas Eve when we went out with adult DCs and had a great time. The presents ( very limited as people given either just one expensive present or cash or an experience) already under the tree. It’s the first time in years I’ve been able to relax on Christmas Eve. No waiting until everyone’s asleep then having to get the hidden presents out and put them under the tree in silence. No setting up mince pies, carrots, a glass of milk and a glass of sherry. No going outside in the cold sprinkling reindeer dust. No waiting until the early hours to creep about hanging up stockings. No getting up at some ungodly hour with young DCs.
No, totally relaxed and able to lie in bed until my adult DCs asked via text what time we were getting up.
Then going for a nice walk Christmas morning. Letting adult DCs be responsible for watching whatever they want on tv whilst I had a nap. Adult DCs also doing the washing up and cleaned the kitchen!
Absolute win in my eyes.

Agree with this.

I don't struggle with life. I've raised 6 children so I know all about "life admin" which I think is a pathetic expression anyway - it's just remembering/organising/doing stuff that needs doing. I've done all the school plays, last minute costumes, panto trips, parties, tombolas etc. I'm also experiencing these things to some extent with my grandchildren.

I'm just really embracing the time now in my forties enjoying adult Christmases and an adult life in general now.

Btw I read the OPs reference to magic as not being literal Santa magic but joy magic. So nothing to do with whether or not you pretend Santa is real.

Yeah I was thinking at the end of the day yesterday when I finally put my feet up, exhausted, after the nearly 4 year old was in bed that it would have been a much more relaxing and enjoyable day if I could have had an hour on my own to do my new puzzle or read a new book!

It was both a lovely day and also very overstimulating and exhausting. And that’s with only one kid!