To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

On a call to a colleague. I don't think so. Something fishy going on. Could be anything. Does he do this at weekends?

There was no such thing as the internet when I was little.
My dad hated Christmas - so he started drinking early and would sit in the living room and watch tv and drink and we were warned not to bother him.
This happened every year.

I mean f**k the little kids, Daddy has a problem coping today so we’re going to indulge him year after year after year AFTER YEAR…

All because of some stupid gift he got his mother that she didn’t like and therefore poor Daddy was traumatised the rest of his life.

MASSIVE EYEROLL.

But the point there is, you know about it, and what's going on, why he may have needed to have worked, etc. OP's OH has apparently given no explanation whatsoever, which, unless there is a very good reason for not providing a reason, is frankly unforgivable IMO.

Does he have an especially important job, that continues over Christmas? National security or something? If not, your husband is blatantly a reason your husband is avoiding you, sorry.

Hope you and foster children managed a happy Christmas despite his sulky attitude x

i was just thinking is is mi5/mi6 etc

I'd be realising he's not someone I can rely on, so wondering what the point of having him around is.

Agree. What a shitbag to treat those kids that way.

My husband has had to build an AI program that went live yesterday. This could of gone either way as he has had to teach himself and he really needed to get it right as it was to record the company Jan sales release.. Without his job we would lose our home so if he had to work we wouldn’t have much choice.

I fear that the problem may be that he views the foster children as very much not his, and not his responsibility, and has no love for them TO show. He absolutely could be having to deal with a massive work emergency, in which case I would expect him to have been able to explain to the Op so she understood what was happening. The lack of explanation on top of the rest of his behaviour makes it sounds more like something is just very wrong, such as a gambling addiction, breakdown, or having decided to opt out of the marriage and of having foster children, and is hiding until Christmas is over and he can leave more easily.

No it doesn’t

I feel like I read the words home office about a thousand times in this thread.

There are so many computer based roles that could require this. Servers or services going down. However, OP would know her DH was 'on call' and would have experienced this previously. And her DH would very easily say 'incident on,' and she'd likely understand.

..so, this person who is apparently an approved foster carer “doesn’t see the problem” with being in the office all of Christmas Day and not coming out even to eat. Okay.

Is something really bad happening at his work? That has required time to deal with? Is there an emergency? Does he work in am industry that requires people to work on christmas day? Was it prearranged for him to work xmas morning? And it has needed to continue.

Sorry just wondering if there is any possible way he could justify his behaviour. Before i completely judge his behaviour as unreasonable and inconsiderate. Because otherwise how can he possibly justify leaving you to do xmas day alone he is out of order and im sure if you had known you would have made alternative plans x

Not his children and he is obviously not wanting to spend time with them at all.

He's avoiding you all. Affair or online addiction porn, gambling something.

Was it a joint idea to foster that many children? Is he fully on board with this lifestyle? Doesn’t sound like it.

I personally doubt that he has spent a whole day locked up in his room without going to the toilet, having a cup of coffee or three or eating anything, so I think the OP knows more than she lets on, she just wants to vent.

But as someone in a middle management, not rare or important job, I've been involved in 2 emergency situations in the past few years, that required all nighters over the weekend - big incidents that were on the news on both sides of the ocean. The shit hits the fan a lot, people just forget quickly when it doesn't affect them.

So whilst I'm not defending the husband, as I've got no idea what he's doing, I object to people automatically labelling him an arsehole just because nothing could possibly require an office worker to work over Christmas.

What’s his job? And what is your relationship like generally? (Because it doesn’t sound like one that’s based on good communication.)

Unscheduled?

If he’s senior, perhaps the company is on the edge of bankruptcy. I can’t think of any other reason there would be people working in Christmas Day. Has he mentioned anything about work being in trouble?

I really hope this is bullshit.

I’d have pulled the plug and turned the WiFi off. DH was a work abolish but even he didn’t work on Christmas Day.

To the people on here defending the husband - OK, he has some rare important job where he genuinely has to work all day. But, in this case, wouldn't a normal husband explain, apologise, have a couple of minutes' chat with the kids and tell them how sorry he is and that he will make up? Not act like an entitled dick and push poor OP out of the room?

He doesn't want to be around foster children and you and is hiding in there doing some shit like gaming, watching porn, chatting to whoever, whatever. He checked out so its time for him to leave.

He isn't working
and that wasn't a teams meeting with a colleague.

Who is the foster parent you or both of you ?
as it may end up that you need to inform Social Services that your marriage has fallen apart and they may depending on circumstances need to place the children elsewhere - unless it is a relatives children you are fostering.