To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

This or.....he has a whole other life that is trying to stay in touch with at the expense of his original relationship.

I would be done with the marriage over this. It could not be a bigger finger up.

I'm a military brat and very occasionally my DF would be on call on Christmas Day if there was heightened security but it wasn't as long as your DH has been hiding away. He was still very present for the whole day.

I don't think your DH was working.

Why would he be locked in a room for over 12 hours (and on a Teams call with her) if he was having an affair.
I'm pretty sure even the OW would tell him to do one after a couple of hours 😅.
Can people not think logically?
If this story is true (doubtful right now):
If there's a crisis in work YES other people will also be working so a Teams call is not unlikely.
If I was on a Teams call and dh and ds just wandered in I would shoo them out.
It doesn't however explain why someone wouldn't take short breaks for food, drinks and toilet.
The LEAST likely scenario is an affair!

This is really strange. No company I know of would
allow or expect staff to work a 12 hour day on Christmas Day. Maybe he’s messed up at work in some way and is trying to cover it all or it’s simply not true.

So when you were involved in your emergency situation did you act like a complete arsehole to your family? Ignored the kids and pushed your partner out of the room without any explanation?

Its not the work situation itself - whatever it was - its his attitude. That is what made me say he checked out.

OP he has to be having an affair. He was not on teams call with work on Christmas day

Have you lot not considered that perhaps the home office is under a mysterious Christmas spell where anyone who enters is unable to leave not even for food, and now OP herself is in there, trapped for eternity alongside her poor DH?

Treat him like an addicted person. He needs an intervention. Perhaps a solicitor's letter detailing his abusive and unreasonable behaviour. I notice you are foster parents- If social services got wind of his unreasonable behaviour they would have a poor view- hardly encourages family life, love and stability.

I’m guessing that it is, to be honest.

When was the last time the OP made an appearance on the thread?

I find this a bit odd. Do you always do as you're told? You are not a child! Who is he to tell you not to disturb him? I hope you demanded an explanation at some point but either way that would be it for me. It may have been genuinely urgent but if it was he would have explained it to his family.I hope you had some fun with your children and ignored the useless father figure.

Is he balls. 🙄

Let’s call a spade a spade: this man is bloody awful. Lazy, contemptuous, disrespectful, and a big fat liar.

Not work. No way.

Who is he on Teams with? I suspect that he is either having an affair or doing something dodgy/covering something dodgy up. Does he work for a Middle Eastern company?

I would be checking that Teams call log today, and if there was one snifter of lies, he wouldn’t like the conversation afterwards.
The lack of respect is breathtaking.

Same. It would open up such a massive can of worms.
It’s his behaviour, contempt, lies, the potential impact on already traumatised children, and Christ knows what else.
I’m not sure I could forgive him but get past it.

No colleague would be surprised a call was disturbed on Christmas day. I'd literally have leaned over his shoulder and waved and said hi, sorry to disturb but it's christmas day obviously!!! Will this take long??

It’s really hard to say whether YABU without knowing what he does for a living. If he’s a sales manager then clearly he doesn’t need to be working. If he’s runs IT for an airline, or works for a bank undergoing a cyber attack, or manages NHS rotas, then potentially it is urgent, but without knowing, it’s impossible to say.

He's not working. Porn, gambling, something else. But not work. What a twat.

Anything that urgent involving security/intelligence etc would be at a security level which cannot be done at home.

He finds his work easier and more interesting than playing with kids and cooking xmas dinner. He’s pretending

So I have googled and yes fosterers are paid about £1000+ a week - so he is not earning this money at Christmas. The money paid is for welfare of children fostered. So fraud on his part? Very bad show. He doesn't care about the children at all.

How are you this morning OP?

I thought gambling. Got himself into a mess.

My Dad did this two years in a row when I was growing up. He wasn’t that senior - he just didn’t want to participate in any family time, which wasn’t unusual because he did fuck all anyway.

He was having an affair anyway. He left when I was 17 and I’m 40 now and probably seen him 7 times in the interim period. He’s never met his grandchildren (9 and 2.5). He doesn’t give a shit.

This would absolutely be the death knell of any marriage for me.

Don't people get paid to foster children?
If so - he his not doing the basic necessary for Xmas is he?
Poor little ones.