To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

Not really, it's just that it is possible in my world, so I'm just concerned that the OP shouldn't leap to dramatic and potentially life-changing conclusions based on the principle that no one else can envisage this situation in their own line of work.

As said earlier, though, I do think it's odd that he hasn't explained anything.

Not really, it's just that it is possible in my world, so I'm just concerned that the OP shouldn't leap to dramatic and potentially life-changing conclusions based on the principle that no one else can envisage this situation in their own line of work.

As said earlier, though, I do think it's odd that he hasn't explained anything.

Not really, it's just that it is possible in my world, so I'm just concerned that the OP shouldn't leap to dramatic and potentially life-changing conclusions based on the principle that no one else can envisage this situation in their own line of work.

As said earlier, though, I do think it's odd that he hasn't explained anything.

No one, I was talking about the people I know. but the point is the times. 5 am start here is late night/early hours US. So highly unlikely someone working for a US company would be starting work at that time, unplanned, on Christmas Day. Just showing your explanation and tying yourself in knots to justify yet more male cuntish behaviour to be utter bullshit.

Who says he works in tech support?

Starting at approx midnight and working all through the night? Sure. I know people in the Uk who work tech support for US companies and whilst they do work to US times they don’t start work at midnight and work for 16 hours.

Why are people tying themselves in knots to come up with ridiculous excuses for this unacceptable behaviour?

They're not his children, they're foster children that he may or may not have particularly wanted in his home.
If it's the latter then he's clearly hiding away, probably watching a streaming service in peace.

I know it's MN and you know because he's a man, we got that don't worry 😂

I know it's MN and you know because he's a man, we got that don't worry 😂

For US clients, yes, quite possible! I haven't personally gone to such extremes, but have done similar. I don't think it's fair to assume he's having an affair or just avoiding the family, although OP might be along to give us more clues.

But do ppl really do security / espionage from home. Thats a bit risky isnt it.

Oh we know he's unreasonable.

There is zero excuse for not explaining to his wife and the foster children why he can't be with with them for Christmas day and apologise for his absence.

we don't know what job he's doing, how can we guess if he's unreasonable or not? Some people DO have to work on Christmas day, even office based.

People can project as much as they want, how can anyone know if he's playing online poker because he's addicted or doesn't want to be involved in fostering, or actually working because someone needs to pay the bills?

My first thought was espionage, too - thinking of how in The Americans, Stan first figured out that Elizabeth and Philip were deep cover KGB agents because they claimed they had to go on a business trip on Thanksgiving Day, leaving their children behind.

Seriously, imagine that he somehow really DID, completely unexpectedly, have to work from 5AM to 9PM or later on Christmas Day. How could he NOT understand that his wife and young children would be disappointed by this? And how could he NOT find ten minutes to explain what he knows about the situation and let his wife, at least, get a better idea of what to expect so that she can regulate the situation a bit for this children? I call shenanigans.

I mean, without it being an explicit possibility and a roster that the DH should have discussed with his wife beforehand.

The Op needs to report her reply stating the children's ages, could be very outing to a social worker / teacher etc. Possibly even the birth parents assuming all the children are from one family.

He clearly doesn't want to be around children that are not his.
Awful behaviour.
How come you are fostering so many children if your husband has zero interest?
What a horrible message to send vulnerable children.

I feel like I read the words home office about a thousand times in this thread.

This is way not as important as you think it is, and even if it is so very important (🙄) you'd at least be able to explain the emergency to your loved ones. It literally takes seconds to talk to a person.

There are all sorts of senior-level jobs where something can go wrong at the worst possible time and it’s all hands on deck to get it sorted. Particularly client-facing industries where there is the risk of huge reputational damage if an aspect of the client’s account has inadvertently been mishandled. Plus, it being Christmas Day means that the seniors really are on the hook to get it resolved themselves - they don’t want to disturb the Christmases of more junior colleagues who aren’t being paid enough to justify that level of disruption.

I did go in to his home office at one point and he rushed me and the kids out saying we were disturbing him on a teams call/meeting with a colleague.