To be fuming that DH has spent the whole day on his laptop?

Anyone can exclude anyone from their will.

Long time lurker on MN and first time poster.

I know that MN can have a reputation for going OTT at times but this thread has been off the scale in places. I’ve seen responses suggesting the OP leaving DH and getting a divorce, he’s having an affair (affairs are discreet and this is anything but – even the OW wouldn’t spend 5am-9pm online on Christmas Day!), addictions and ‘he’s checked out’ without so much as asking about the context of DH’s job.

What kind of job is it? Is working weekends, holidays, Christmas, unsociable hours typical? Does it involve working with regions of the world that do not celebrate Christmas?
Was this sprung on the OP on the day or was there some discussion that working on or over Christmas was brought up prior?
Does DH have an end of year target to hit to make a bonus/get a promotion/keep his job? Is the OP banking he he gets said bonus if this is the case?
Has DH said why he needed to work? Even if he is being a bit of a shit about working, he can offer the OP a reason why.

The fact that the OP hasn’t come back to it after the first page of responses suggests that the ‘fuming’ either settled down or that the whole thing wasn’t such a big deal anyway and they wanted to vent that it was occurring rather than it being a problem (or it was made up which seems like a reasonable theory too).

As it is, the wild reactions on here kept me entertained over the festive period!

Obviously a made up thread, but if you take every thread on Mumsnet as 'hypothetical ', they still have value as someone's partner/DH will have 'checked out' on Christmas Day, so the advice and opinions here are still valid.

Did Op ever come back??

Definitely having an affair

Is this normal behaviour for him?

No, he was furious. His solicitor told him that as an adopted child she would have every right to challenge his will if he left her out of it simply because she was not genetically his.

Hmm now I'm suspicious about my uncle, they adopted a girl of 3 years old after having a son, it was my aunt who didn't want to go through pregnancy again though.

Was he able to exclude her from his will?

I always take the view that even if it is a troll, there are probably other people on the thread - lurking, feeling unable to post, but taking in the advice of those posting. Or even someone coming to the thread months later finding some nugget of help.

Trolls are a pain, but sometimes (not all times, but sometimes) their trolling attempts may still help someone.

Tbh half of the threads on here are quite obviously fake. It's really frustrating when you've invested your time into helping someone and they don't return or their responses get increasingly more weird/goading and you realise you've been duped. It's all very well MN saying don't accuse people of trolling (and blocking them when they do) but imo they need to put more energy into getting rid of the windup merchants than the people who genuinely want to help otherwise people are really going to get bored of engaging

My father pulled this stunt one Christmas too, shortly after I'd found my presents, stupidly told him and was told they were for someone else. I never saw them again. He didn't have a computer (only the Man From Uncle did in those days) but he "had to work" that Christmas, on a business trip to New York. Obviously he didn't go to New York. According to his company he was on 2 weeks holiday and was in fact getting married to someone else on the Isle of Wight. It turned out not to be the first bigamous marriage he'd been involved in. Nobody "has to" work at Christmas working from home. It's choice. It is deliberate. And it means "I'm not in this family any more."

Yeah @eastegg@grumpygrapethe more I think about it the more i think it was a wind up. 🙄

I know. While I agree with what pps have said about certain crises in certain types of job requiring unexpected work on Xmas day which could go on for hours, what’s really weird is op not saying anything about how possible that might be in his particular job, or anything about what the DH has said about the reason. If it was totally unheard of for him, she’d mention that. Equally, if she could think of an explanation of how his job might require it, she’d mention that.

If shit hit the fan and my DH had to do this, he’d bloody well say something about why. Because it’s so unusual. But there’s absolutely nothing from the op about any of this. That’s what makes me think it’s some sort of wind up.

It may have been said previously but it just surprises me the OP doesn't know enough about her husband's work to know what he might have been doing.

Why are you answering for her?

Perhaps because you are being rather unpleasant towards @HorseyWoman
for no real reason?

I don't see why you have taken umbrage at being quoted. As far as I can see she was using your post as a lead in to talking about her own experience. I don't see why you have taken exception to this.

Ok, I misread, apologies!

No, she was specifically saying how a social worker wouldn't be working on Christmas day unless rota'd on call. Her post has no connection at all with mine that she quoted. Why are you answering for her?

Just by way of saying 'and another example of people who might work on Christmas....' she wasn't calling you out about anything

Why did you quote me? I didn't say a word about social workers!

Sadly I think, in the absence of any updates, that the most probable explanation of this is that the children were fostered because the OP wanted them, and playing with children all Christmas Day wasn't part of the husband's plans. Before people say that couldn't happen, it can. For a start local authorities are desperate for foster places. For a second, my brother fooled the adoption people (he's a good actor) because his wife wanted a girl after boys and he wouldn't have any more babies. He saw her as a present for his wife. He even consulted a solicitor on whether he could exclude her from his will.

I'm a social worker and my job involves literally saving lives. We all decide whether or not to cover EDT shifts over Xmas. I am not sitting in a room from 5am to 9/10pm on Christmas Day, panicking when my kids enter the room, or claiming to be on Teams calls. And crucially, our partners KNOW what we are doing so don't need to post about our odd behaviour on mumsnet. 🤷‍♀️

If you work for a bank which has erroneously paid out all the standing orders and direct debits on Christmas Eve twice, then you'll be working flat out all Christmas day.

I know from experience that if you're working managing a water authority customer services and a sudden thaw has flooded homes all over the area with burst pipes then you'll be working Christmas Day. In our case it was New Years day, but still a Bank Holiday and would have been exactly the same a week earlier.

Of you've got hackers trying to ransom all your customer data then you'll be working flat out all day.

I could think of tons more, but he certainly could have been working.

Or they made the whole thing up as they were bored and knew it would make people mad! 🤣🤷‍♀️ either way, hope OP is ok.

You haven't been back to this thread to update, so not sure what's happening now, but the most ludicrous thing about this entire situation is that I think you do or did believe he was in fact working; even in your penultimate comment here where you say he rushed you out because he was on a Teams call. So he expects you to believe, and you expect us to believe, that there is more than him in his company, doing banal work on Christmas Day. He isn't out there saving lives so no it is not urgent.

Yes you're most probably correct 😪