Upset dh didn't get me a proper present

Be honest with family right in front of him “yeah, Dave got me a pair of socks which is really shitty and disappointing. I got him some Creed aftershave and a designer shirt, didn’t I Dave?” Let him feel uncomfortable, don’t you dare take on his shame! He should feel absolutely mortified!

Well that works for the both of you but this thread is about the OP

We usually get each other good quality thoughtful things.

If this is a really different from what normally happens are there any other changes in his behaviour?

He must have realised you were disappointed. Have you said anything to him?

If you are still upset when relatives ask later on - you could always go passive aggressive and say 'DH decided we'd just do a couple of token gifts this year but didnt tell me, showing me instead'

My husband and I have an agreement not to buy 'thoughtful" or "surprise" gifts. Too many miss the mark and end up as junk.

If your husband is an otherwise loving and good husband, I suspect he feels similarly about the "thoughtful" gifts you are buying for him.

You need to have an honest discussion about expectations, but not today. Leave it until after Christmas.

Most of the Christmas presents I receive (including the "thoughtful" ones) I could easily live without.

If I want something, I buy it. No need to wait for someone else to give it to me (or not) on Christmas Day.

You got gift.
I got nothing and it doesn’t bother me.
Just go online and treat yourself to something you really want.
Make it your Christmas gift to yourself.
You could put a £1 a day away till next year and then as you sit down next year go online and order something.

Me and my dh didn’t get each other presents this year because we are saving for a holiday. I actually couldn’t care less. As long as the kids are happy I’m not bothered. Dinner and wine is what I’m looking forward to

People here amaze me sometimes OP.
You are basically being told it is your fault that your husband doesn’t know he should buy you a nice christmas present.
Christ on a bike.
Of course he should get you decent presents if that has always been your modus operandi.
I would tell relatives what he bought you if they ask and let him feel uncomfortable. It isn’t up to you to do his PR.
You can also ask him directly if he wants to stop giving each other presents or just give small tokens in future so that you know for next year.
Then if so buy yourself the present you want with the money you would have spent on him.

I knew he was going to say he hadn’t got me a gift as he’d been ill. I’ve told him to give me an Amazon e-voucher so I can get some books for my Kindle. Not upset but if anyone asks what I got I will tell the truth.

Do you perhaps need to give him more of a steer as to what to get you?

Have you got children in the home? Because really, Christmas is for them. Get your big girl pants on.

You didn't buy your thoughtful gifts for others, just in order to get gifts back. So this shouldn't matter.

Talk to your DH in a couple if days. Maybe he's got different priorities this year, stuff going on. Tell him how you're feeling. Try and agree which page your on and meet in the middle.

For today, honestly, leave it.

YANBU. It sucks and feels so disappointing when your OH just clearly can't be arsed.

My DH got me nothing one year. A absolutely nothing. Not even a gift from our 3 kids. He has been skating on very thin ice since then. I was furious and boy did he find out! I felt like such a twat when my family asked what he got me and I had to say nothing.

If they ask what he got you then just say socks. If they think he is a dick for not trying then let them think that.

How do you think he would feel if you did the same to him?

Just be honest with relatives and tell them what he has bought you.
I think communication is key. If you want big presents then tell him.