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Grief at Christmas

36 replies

sellotapechicken · 25/12/2025 09:20

Sending everyone gentle hugs and love if you’ve lost someone and are feeling it.

Grief is like glitter. In the beginning, it's everywhere.. on your hands, in your hair, scattered across every corner of your life. You try to clean it up, to restore some sense of order. And for a while, it seems like you've succeeded. But then, one day, you move a sofa or open a forgotten drawer, and there it is again. A tiny sparkle that catches the light and reminds you of what you lost.
It doesn't go away completely. It settles, becomes quieter, less overwhelming. You learn to live with it, to carry it gently. And years later, when you find a bit of that glitter tucked behind a shelf, you might smile. Maybe even laugh. Because it reminds you of love, of connection, of someone who mattered deeply.
Eventually, something will catch your eye.. a photo, a favorite song, a familiar scent, and instead of pain, you'll feel warmth. That's the quiet truth about grief. It stays with you, but it changes. It becomes a part of your story, a soft echo of the love that never really left.

OP posts:
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givemeanother · 26/12/2025 23:38

Thank you OP for this thread, and such a good analogy. This is my 4th Christmas since my brother died too young and it still hits me to my core on Christmas Day. I put on the necessary show for my kids but wonder if I’ll ever be able to genuinely shift the fug I now feel at this time of year.

I think part of what i find hard is that others forget, and understandably so as it’s not their grief…but when it’s so encompassing for me, I struggle. Waiting for the days when the glimpses of remaining glitter bring me a smile.

toomuchcrapeverywhere · 26/12/2025 23:27

27 years ago since my Dad died. A couple of weeks ago I saw an elderly man on the train who had exactly the same mannerisms as my Dad and it was like being punch in the stomach. I started crying and had to move carriages. It felt like he my Dad would have been like that if my Dad had got old. It just comes out of nowhere.

DH is 63, has never been bereaved - grandparents all died when he was little or before he was born, and has never lost anyone else close to him. I’m dreading how it will be when he loses his parents, who are now in their late 80s.

Chinsupmeloves · 26/12/2025 23:19

Absolutely. We have to carry on while sobbing inside. When you've experienced harrowing grief it changes you forever, then there comes more as we get older. We learn to live with it, only because we have to, but it never goes away. Xxx

MrsDoomsPatterson1 · 26/12/2025 23:15

Thank you for this it’s lovely

glitter is such a good analogy

the way it gets everywhere and places you don’t suspect

💔

sellotapechicken · 26/12/2025 23:07

I hope everyone had a good day

OP posts:
mrssunshinexxx · 25/12/2025 13:30

5th Christmas without my mum. Try to put a brave face on for my 3 young children but I miss the fun family christmases and how I miss her love and support in my life and all that she’s missing. Sucks

CocoQueen2024 · 25/12/2025 13:14

My Dad died two weeks ago. I feel numb and still cant believe it 😭

Goldeh · 25/12/2025 12:59

I would usually have my parents here for Christmas, this year it's just my parent and it's almost too strange.

MissMarplesNiece · 25/12/2025 12:57

I was getting out all my Christmas China this morning. My mum bought all of it for me over the years. Every year she bought me a new bauble for my Christmas tree. It made me sad to decorate my tree and sad to think that she's not here to eat a mince pie off one of my Christmas plates.

ManyYearsHavePassed · 25/12/2025 12:53

💔

Nevertriedcaviar · 25/12/2025 12:43

We lost our darling son-in-law in April this year. There will be an empty chair at my daughter's house today. I hope they can get through the day. We miss him so much.

Sending love to all who are struggling today. It's hard.

Lastknownaddress · 25/12/2025 12:42

DF died earlier this year, but last Christmas we knew he was declining fast. Tough day already and in-laws today and tomorrow. Feels tough this year.

Thank you for this thread.

katgab · 25/12/2025 12:40

I lost my dad around Christmas time 26 years ago and my mum earlier this year. The last few years of my mums life were awful for her and she made my life a misery with it. In a sense it came as a relief as the last months and years were full of what I now know is anticipatory grief. I did look at the gifts under the tree last night and realised they were only from our little family as there’s no one else left which felt sad but earlier in the week I remembered the Christmas cake mum made every Christmas (not for years as she wasn’t up to it) from her home country. How I loved that cake, I could eat a whole lot of that in one go! Bitter sweet but a happier memory than the trauma of the last few years.

That glitter analogy rang true for me.

For all those grieving out there I wish you a peaceful day and season.

CandiedPrincess · 25/12/2025 12:26

My mum died on Christmas night last year. I'm totally at peace with it; it was her time to go. I will raise a glass.

FletchFan · 25/12/2025 12:07

I'm really feeling it. I lost a good friend in the summer. Not even family but still someone who felt like family and helped me through some personal challenges.

It's the first Christmas I've felt anything like this.

Iamafaithfull · 25/12/2025 10:49

Rosamunday · 25/12/2025 09:49

My sister died on Christmas Day 15 years ago. My DH died just before last Christmas. I’m on my own right now. 😢

So sorry for your losses Rosamundy . That is tough .
Also thinking of you and others that are alone today x

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 25/12/2025 10:48

I don’t think I ever gave enough credit to my dear mum who lost both her parents before she was my age now (33). She is now late 60s and has had most of her life without them. None of her children knew their maternal grandparents and I think that makes her sad. I am wearing her mother’s ring today with pride.

Happy Christmas

Iamafaithfull · 25/12/2025 10:45

That’s lovely OP .
I think we all have to do what brings us comfort today . Christmas is in some ways - just another day , but one where there is a lot of pressure to have the perfect family Christmas . Which sadly isn’t possible for everyone .

Take care everyone xxx

Wingingit73 · 25/12/2025 10:37

What a perfect analogy. Lots of love x

Wingingit73 · 25/12/2025 10:37

What a perfect analogy. Lots of love x

madameimadam · 25/12/2025 10:32

Thank you for this. I lost Mum in 2022 and Dad last month. It’s still very painful and raw right now. Dad loved Christmas and I keep thinking that he and we had no idea last year was to be his final one.

Much love to you all. And I’m so sorry @Whiskyfromsmallglasses Strength and love to you

Whiskyfromsmallglasses · 25/12/2025 10:27

Oh that made me well up! I lost my dad on Monday

WhattheFudgeareyouonabout · 25/12/2025 10:26

I needed this today. Thank you and merry Christmas x

Frenchfemme · 25/12/2025 10:23

💔 Absent friends 💔

Cherrysoup · 25/12/2025 10:20

❤️ to all who are missing someone today. My Dh was late home this morning due to a tragic incident with a small child. I can’t imagine the pain for the parents.

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