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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Probably - but people too lazy to cook their own christmas dinner are spoiling mine

717 replies

SheinIsShite · 25/12/2025 09:15

My youngest DS is 16 and works in a pub kitchen. Dish washing, food prep, plating starters/dessert. He is contracted to do 8 hours a week which is usually OK. Obviously this time of year is busy and because he is not at school he has more shifts.

School finished on Friday, he worked Friday evening. And Saturday, and Sunday. Did an extra shift on Monday afternoon as they were short. Yesterday was rostered 11-6 but got home at 22.50 as they were so busy and needed to prep for the 700 covers they have booked today between 12 and 4.30pm. He starts again at 10am this morning, and although they have said he'll be done by 6.30 I don't believe that so he will more than likely miss our family meal.

So all of you paying £85 a head for Christmas lunch in a very standard chain pub, thanks for that.

Totally appreciate that some people have to work and we are all grateful to the police, fire, midwives etc. But going out for your Chrtistmas lunch is not essential.

OP posts:
BlackCat14 · 27/12/2025 09:50

….but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable.

It usually happens to people who make posts like yours, where you’re sweepingly rude about some people (aka the “lazy” ones who go out for lunch on Christmas Day, a service they are fully entitled to make use of). Make a post like that, and don’t be surprised by the responses. Of course you’re going to wind people up.

lelosalamanca · 27/12/2025 09:49

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:45

Leaving this thread now but..

it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner

£82 a head for Christmas dinner without drinks. For a family of 4, that's probably £350 once you've factored in buying drinks too. There is NO WAY that it is cheaper than making your own. Or even buying it all in wee trays, ready prepared, stick straight in the oven. It;s an indulgence and a treat.

So bloody what? why can't people have an indulgence or a treat at Christmas?

Your son going on a an expensive holiday is an unnecessary frivolous indulgence and a treat- if he was truly kind he'd donate it to charity surely?

SoManyTshirts · 27/12/2025 09:49

YABU. Your child is 16, you should be financing him yourself and not allowing him to work shifts which break the labour laws for adults, never mind children (to whom stricter laws apply). Phone his manager and complain - I’ve done it myself.
I’d recommend also reporting the pub to higher management and your local council.
If he loses his job so be it - he’s a child, not the family breadwinner.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 27/12/2025 09:47

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:45

Leaving this thread now but..

it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner

£82 a head for Christmas dinner without drinks. For a family of 4, that's probably £350 once you've factored in buying drinks too. There is NO WAY that it is cheaper than making your own. Or even buying it all in wee trays, ready prepared, stick straight in the oven. It;s an indulgence and a treat.

Indulgences and treats are absolutely fine.

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:45

Leaving this thread now but..

it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner

£82 a head for Christmas dinner without drinks. For a family of 4, that's probably £350 once you've factored in buying drinks too. There is NO WAY that it is cheaper than making your own. Or even buying it all in wee trays, ready prepared, stick straight in the oven. It;s an indulgence and a treat.

OP posts:
Judetiff · 27/12/2025 09:44

I imagine that your son is earning a much higher rate for working these hours on those days and good for him. At the same time he is probably having quite a good time with his colleagues and some of the customers. I don’t understand what it would teach him to let everyone else down. I think your post is bizarre.

FlyingCatGirl · 27/12/2025 09:42

katepilar · 25/12/2025 09:42

Not sure why you are getting the nasty replies. Yes, it is ridiculous.

People are citing good reasons for pubs offering this service! It stops people being lonely, it can also probably be cheaper than the extortionately priced cost of buying the materials to make a Christmas dinner! A supermarket own brand trifle cost £15 where I live this year! I dead to think what the total cost would be to lay on a meal for the family including grandparents, aunts and uncles etc! At least at the pub the cost gets split! And above all else it creates jobs and keeps the pubs in business because they are struggling!

SheinIsShite · 27/12/2025 09:39

OK few points - the choice of the word "lazy" has obviously wound some people up. Agree that the responses on the thread about shopping on Boxing Day are very different but this is often the way things go on MN, people love being contrary, disagreeing and telling people they are being unreasonable. Such is life, and as the teen who was the subject of this thread would say - it's not that deep.

He had a very lucrative shift on Thursday and got away by 6.45. He did say he would prefer not to be working but the money was good.

I think a lot of people are forgetting what it's like to be 16 and in your first ever job with people twice your age, and older. Saying no or refusing to work, or just leaving when your shift is up is not an option. Just as walking out of a lesson at school or saying no to a teacher is not an option. There is a huge amount of pressure put on them and guilt-tripping which might be easy to identify and resist when you are 26 or 46, not when you are 16. He worked again yesterday, is doing a few hours today, but after that is off until 2nd January so can have a proper break.

It was his choice to get a job and we supported him in that. He wants to save for something specific. He had no burning desire to work in hospitality but had to take what is available locally given that he is 16, doesn't drive, and public transport is not great. This pub has a high turnover of kitchen staff. Wonder why. They are often aware that he is not getting the breaks he's legally entitled to or is kept later than he should be. As someone else pointed out, this is because there are often just 2 people in the kitchen and customers are not going to wait 30 minutes for their desserts because DS is in the staffroom. He is paid for working through breaks but still - not good. Now that he has 6 months' experience under his belt his plan is to look for something more predictable for 2026.

And my user name has nothing to do with Worzel Gummidge or Wicked. It's simply a statement that Shein - the shitty Chinese fast fashion slave-merchant company - is shite. Because it is.

OP posts:
Jackiepumpkinhead · 27/12/2025 09:21

sparrowhawkhere · 27/12/2025 08:30

Not the point of the thread but please tell me your username is a worzel gummidge reference?!

As much as I loved Worzel and Aunt Sal, it’s sadly not. It’s a Return to Oz reference 😊

sparrowhawkhere · 27/12/2025 08:30

Jackiepumpkinhead · 25/12/2025 09:20

Quite the achievement 🙊

Not the point of the thread but please tell me your username is a worzel gummidge reference?!

Bleachedjeans · 27/12/2025 07:36

Jackiepumpkinhead · 25/12/2025 09:17

Possibly one of the most ridiculous posts I’ve seen this year.

Agree. Absolutely daft!

pestowithwalnuts · 27/12/2025 06:06

Jackiepumpkinhead · 25/12/2025 09:17

Possibly one of the most ridiculous posts I’ve seen this year.

Agreed. Stupid and ridiculous and idiotic.
Nobody least of all mumsnetters are spoiling your Christmas dinner.
None of us are forcing your son to work in Christmas day.
Put your bottom lip away OP

Roobarbtwo · 27/12/2025 01:10

My gran died of a massive stroke a week before Christmas 15 years ago. Her funeral was the 23rd of December. I don't know how we got through Christmas that year but we did.

Shifting your Christmas dinner to Boxing day wouldn't have been a huge biggie surely.

I also worked in a homeless unit for five years and if you worked Christmas day you cooked a meal for the young folks who had no family.

Sometimes you need to count your blessings

As I said previously my family get a takeaway on Christmas day and my brother was telling me the person in front of him in the queue spent 160 quid

The selfish people as you call them are keeping your son in a job

FlyingPandas · 27/12/2025 00:40

Just to add a different perspective: my son works a similar kind of job but for a company who can only offer limited shifts, he’s lucky if he gets two or three a week. He’d have loved the opportunity to take on the kind of hours (and earn the kind of money) that your son will be earning but it just isn’t an option! And frankly he’s grateful to have any kind of job at all. It is so so hard for young people to find any kind of work atm. Barely anything for young people where we are. Far more desperate hopefuls wanting jobs than there are jobs available. I’d say your son is one of the lucky ones OP. Even if it messed up your Christmas plans a bit. I’d have happily accepted a disrupted Christmas for my DS to get a bit more work!

Also, as others have said, it is totally and utterly ridiculous to berate people for daring to use and pay for a service that is willingly offered. Most things we spend money on for our leisure time are utterly non essential if you think about it: none of us need haircuts or sporting activities or meals out or our nails done or spa days or takeaway coffees or new clothes or cocktail parties or any of that kind of stuff. So in theory we’re all lazy, entitled, greedy shits. But we do these things because we enjoy them.. And in using these services, as long as we’re decent paying customers, we’re keeping businesses going.

Slothy22 · 26/12/2025 23:53

Why don’t you book a table at his place of work? Then you get to see him whilst you eat your dinner.

burntoutnurse · 26/12/2025 23:13

Do you know I almost booked one of these busy chains for my Christmas dinner this year. My own DH had been away at sea for 3 months and only got home two days before Xmas. I worked from 8am until 9pm on Xmas Eve caring for sick children, I had my first whole Christmas Day off in 8 years, and I was back in work today 7am - 7pm and tomorrow too.

so, it’s not a case of being lazy. Christmas dinner was just DH and I this year and I didn’t want to waste our one day off together in the kitchen prepping and cooking.

we were very lucky our best friends invited us over.

buthad we had gone out to eat, it would have been essential to save me from burn out….

Roobarbtwo · 26/12/2025 23:04

OrangeITellYou · 26/12/2025 23:01

If you live somewhere with a cheap food place that has 200 tables then where you move is big enough to have other options for work??

Not cheap. 85 quid for a Christmas dinner

OrangeITellYou · 26/12/2025 23:01

If you live somewhere with a cheap food place that has 200 tables then where you move is big enough to have other options for work??

GeeWhisikers · 26/12/2025 22:50

Everything that needs to be said has already been said. The stupidest post of the year, by some way. Ridiculous. Can’t possibly be real.

lelosalamanca · 26/12/2025 22:41

BlahBlah2025 · 26/12/2025 21:40

The world owes you nothing OP. Nothing.

Not sure where your sense of entitlement came from? The world and the pub and the workers at the pub and the clients of the pub do not revolve around your DS's needs.

Your DS CHOSE to work. At any point he could have walked out and not gone in today.

He had choices. And he chose to work. Not sure why you are complaining? No one put a gun to his head and say you must work today or you'll die.

No, they said you'll get double time. Nice. And he worked longer hours so he'll be paid more.

If he wasn't working, someone else would take the job. It shows there's market demand for this sort of job. There is market demand for all sorts of casual work. People come, people go... would you rather that this wasn't the case? Because in that case, there'd be no job at all for your DS. That's what it's like in France but anyway... never mind, you really don't understand how business and the economy run...

If you disagree with his hours, that's your problem, not the pub's problem or the people paying to eat there.

And by your argument he's selfish, because he's taking a job from an 18 year old when he shouldn't be working the hours he's working aged 16. An 18 year old who is out of work needs it more than him.... He's selfish because what about the people that will be servicing him in his expensive hotel, when he's paying for a bit of luxury? Should they all not be working long hours? Why is his expensive trip not selfish to workers but Christmas out for other people is?

You have no idea OP. No idea at all how the world works.

👏 well said

I am presuming the OP won't think her son is selfish when he's on his expensive trip and the staff in his hotel are having to work nights, bank holidays or weekends to serve him and accommodate him- funny how that works eh? its only other people that are "selfish".

OneFunnyPearlTurtle · 26/12/2025 22:39

Maybe he’s looking forward to working on Christmas Day so that he doesn’t have to be somewhere where his enjoyment levels and participation could be micromanaged. Good on him for his work ethic

Femalemachinest · 26/12/2025 22:28

Isnt it crazy how the responses on this are the total opposite to the tread on shops being open today. What's the difference? Why are people ok with hospitality being open but not retail?

Yourlifeinyourhands · 26/12/2025 22:22

No one made him work there. Ridiculous post!

omggggggg · 26/12/2025 21:58

OP having a hissy fit because her ds would rather work than spend Christmas at home.

Goldwren1923 · 26/12/2025 21:56

Be grateful he has a job because of all these people eating out

such a lazy attitude!!!

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