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AIBU?

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DH is a spoilt brat

214 replies

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 09:11

He is going to be gifted a perfume today. He asked for 100 ml but Mil asked me to order 200 ml. I helped her out with her online orders. Partner said oh did I ask for a perfume? I told him yes. He said: but did I ask for 100 ml? I said yes but your mum might have gotten you more since she's generous, you will see.
He goes off yelling about not being able to take it on his travels (100 ml limit) and I should have known better and he has no use for 200 ml. I told him I don't travel often neither does Mil so how the fuck were we to think that he wanted his perfume for travel.

Mil has thrown ticket and box away so can't return. I am so furious with dh acting like a spoilt brat. Our kids would never act like this even if disappointed- they are teens and polite.

Later on he came and said sorry I shouldn't have reacted like that...and then he went on again talking about how he'll have no use for it and he will buy his 100 ml himself and how he will never ask for anything again ! Bonkers ! If it wasn't for my kids I would be leaving for a couple of days. Immature entitled twat!! I have been disappointed with gifts but never said something but believe me this year I will not save his feelings and will tell him to return anything I don't like. Would that be unreasonable?

OP posts:
XWKD · 25/12/2025 16:04

Does he tend to get fixated with things that are oddly specific?

DreamTheMoors · 25/12/2025 15:44

First of all, WHY he can’t use it at home??

Second, a BIG BOY TIZZY like that deserves absolutely NO HINTS about decanting any perfume.
OR ANYTHING MORE THAN SCORN.

God you must be HUMILIATED for him.

maras2 · 25/12/2025 15:43

Well. that's a clit shriveller, ewwww,

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2025 15:23

ilovepixie · 25/12/2025 14:59

There’s a perfume thread where a husband buys the wrong perfume for his wife, everyone saying is be annoyed, he’s a twat and so on.
Yet when a woman buys the wrong gift the man is a spoilt brat for complaining! 🤔🤔

Nice try.

Except the OP didn't buy the wrong perfume. She bought the correct one.

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 15:06

It's not just about the contents of the bottle, it's about the bottle itself. The 100 ml bottle will look different, feel different in the hand, take up a different space on the dresser or in a bag. Some people notice and care about such things.

diddl · 25/12/2025 15:01

If you want something very specific, you specify if it really needs to be that very one

Tbf he did.

If I knew that my husband always wanted 100ml as he likes to be able to pack them & he asked for 100ml then I would stick to that.

ilovepixie · 25/12/2025 14:59

There’s a perfume thread where a husband buys the wrong perfume for his wife, everyone saying is be annoyed, he’s a twat and so on.
Yet when a woman buys the wrong gift the man is a spoilt brat for complaining! 🤔🤔

MissDoubleU · 25/12/2025 14:52

Well. I suppose having a bit of a stressful month entitles him to throw a tantrum I wouldn’t let a toddler away with, then. I’d be calling him Veruca Salt for the rest of the year. Singing;

“and if I don’t get the things that I’m after, I’m going to SCREAM.”

Then laughing directly at him to make it known you think he’s foolish and he should absolutely feel that way. What a massive turn off.

Llamallamafruitpyjama · 25/12/2025 14:47

I hope you told him what a boring twat he is and bratty too and that you can’t be arsed to listen to him after his insane tirade.

TheEverlastingPorridge · 25/12/2025 14:42

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 14:26

Totally unacceptable tantrums aside, I am looking forward to the thread where a loving DH has got a MNetter the specific item of clothing she requested, but in a different size to the one she clearly specified ... and all of MN saying 'Oh just take it in/let it out, you shouldn't be so inflexible and unable to adjust, what's the difference really, ungrateful cow' 😆.

A different size of clothing is completely different to a different sized perfume bottle though 🤔can't you see that?

Giving a size 10 woman a size 20 jumper isn't buying her double the amount 😂 whereas a 200ml bottle of Chanel as opposed to a 100ml bottle is

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2025 14:42

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 14:26

Totally unacceptable tantrums aside, I am looking forward to the thread where a loving DH has got a MNetter the specific item of clothing she requested, but in a different size to the one she clearly specified ... and all of MN saying 'Oh just take it in/let it out, you shouldn't be so inflexible and unable to adjust, what's the difference really, ungrateful cow' 😆.

Cos clothes and perfume are EXACTLY the same.

Not to mention you CAN take more than 100ml of perfume on many flights now anyway...

GreatUserName · 25/12/2025 14:41

Keep the perfume.
Keep the MIL.
Ditch the knobber.

RedToothBrush · 25/12/2025 14:41

arcticpandas · 25/12/2025 12:54

He wouldn't want to decant- thank you all for that advice though. He really likes to have the original- I'm the practical one and he's the precious one:).

Well he's a fucking child then.

I would shove a decanter up his arse.

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 14:26

Totally unacceptable tantrums aside, I am looking forward to the thread where a loving DH has got a MNetter the specific item of clothing she requested, but in a different size to the one she clearly specified ... and all of MN saying 'Oh just take it in/let it out, you shouldn't be so inflexible and unable to adjust, what's the difference really, ungrateful cow' 😆.

Brefugee · 25/12/2025 14:23

katepilar · 25/12/2025 10:15

Parfumes dont decant easily, do they. None of mine had a bottle you can open and pour out of. You would need to spray it out to decant.

I understand he is totally frustrated. He asked for something, and got something different which he hasnt got a use for.
I personally fund the whole gift-giving culture really weird.

If you want something very specific, you specify if it really needs to be that very one

Littletinytarzanswingingfromanosehair · 25/12/2025 14:15

Just a thought, could this be that he doesn't want you to spend so much money?
Of course the thread will derail now you have mentioned he "travels" (which 75% of my BDMs at work do) with accusations of him having an affair or has a bit on the side 🤣. It's normal to want to be presentable and not smell.
Like you have mentioned he is very tense and little things can set you off over Xmas.
My Yorkshire puddings haven't risen as well as I wanted and the broccoli cheese I got from Tesco has got a rip in the seal.
I started crying. DP is looking at me all gone out like I'm a weirdo.

ItsNotMeEither · 25/12/2025 14:03

TheSmallAssassin · 25/12/2025 09:29

I would be annoyed if I was him, but would take it as a lesson to state the "why" next time. It's a disappointment and it isn't easy to decant if it's in a spray bottle. He is being unreasonable to shout at you about it.

Those little pods make it very easy to decant a spray bottle. You just pull the little top off the sprayer and the bit sticking up goes straight into the pod. Simple. Herder to explain it than it is to use.

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 25/12/2025 13:56

I would just like to say that if Mr Furniture bought me a 200ml bottle of Chanel No 5 instead of the 100ml bottle, I can assure you that he'd think all his Christmases had bloody come at once!!

Stravaig · 25/12/2025 13:54

His tantrum is obviously the biggest issue - and likely not the only problem in the relationship? So treat is a sign to decide whether or not you have a future together. He sounds like an arse.

You and MIL both failed to understand that the requested 100ml quantity is a key part of the value of this present - that is her/your fuck up. I also hate getting presents where my suggestion has been mis-interpreted or re-interpreted because my supposed loved one has decided they know better. Don't do that. Of course I just thank politely and return/regift/donate, explaining why. Nothing excuses his response.

Tricky that were mediating his present requests with MIL. I'd either try to stay out of that in future, or redirect his shite towards the person who's had most practice in dealing with it!

TheLOUDNESS · 25/12/2025 13:48

This thread reminds me that I saved The Death of Bunny Munro to start watching today …

MissSophiaGrace · 25/12/2025 13:45

Unpleasant, ungrateful, unattractive, ungracious behaviour.

grumpygrape · 25/12/2025 13:43

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 25/12/2025 13:24

It isn't about the perfume. He just doesn't like you. Or (as is usually the case with men), he feels he isn't getting enough sex.

As usual, almost everyone is missing the point. Not sure how people get through life...

Not available unless we quote.... 🤣

Theslummymummy · 25/12/2025 13:41

Abroad?

Rosecoffeecup · 25/12/2025 13:39

What a fucking loser he is

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 25/12/2025 13:24

It isn't about the perfume. He just doesn't like you. Or (as is usually the case with men), he feels he isn't getting enough sex.

As usual, almost everyone is missing the point. Not sure how people get through life...

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