DIDNT buy partner’s sister fiancé a gift

I would be slightly put out if I was marrying into a family, contributed to everyone’s gifts then to find out it wasn’t reciprocated because I wasn’t viewed as part of the family. I imagine he’s upset at that, the sentiment & being deliberately excluded.

I think your boyfriend threw you under the bus. Once when he told you not to bother, then again on the call as I doubt he revealed it was his idea for you not to get him anything. It’s probably why he doesn’t want you to bring it up with them.

Agree with the comments about giving presents as a couple.

Why are you and dp doing separate presents? Let him sort his family and put your name on it.

It seems very transactional and weird.
I think I got mil and fil a small gift on the first Christmas (we had been together 4 months but I had met them 5/6 times. ) it would have been some chocolates or similar. I did that because they had kindly bought me a little something. But there was no expectation, the next year I did the same then the following year we lived together and did joint pressies. But sil still lived at home, I never got her or her bf anything .
I guess if your bf bluntly said to fiance by the way dgf hasn’t got you anything it could be a bit offensive but more his tone than the act. Also you didn’t get him anything because your bf never said to so how are you the bad guy? And it’s rude of them to comment on it and poor of your bf not to defend you.
All 4 of them sound like drama lamas op.

Are you even seeing these people over Christmas??

Look at the many many threads about women exasperated at doing at the present buying and wrapping for their husbands responsibilities, for years.

Really weird to expect you to buy separate gifts for anyone in your partners family. Your name should be included on the gifts that he has bought. Does he buy separate gifts for your family too?

Has your partner bought your family and their partners gifts?
I find it a bit odd that you aren't just giving as a couple, but if that's not their style I'd have taken my lead based on what he did for my family.

Wonder what he has hought you?

Partner sounds selfish and a stirrer. However, one day this guy could be a brother in law (depending on your relationship, and their wedding happening) so yes, I would have got a bottle for him as it is awkward not to.

Your partner is a shit-stirrer.

your partner's sister's fiancé needs to grow up.

you need to give way fewer fucks as of now, or this will become your life for the foreseeable. You're not put on earth to worry about the happiness of someone else's adult partner who is nothing to do with you.

Weird. And a warning for future weird behaviour from this bloke.

I have never (in nearly 20 years of marriage) bought a Christmas gift just from me to any of my DH’s siblings, nevermind their other halves or children. It was given from both of us (or from the whole family now). What a fussy drama llama!

The prime requirement for a future partner is that they have your back. They do not involve you in pointless family dramas. The whole lot of them sound absolutely batty - your boyfriend's sister's fiance is distraught because you didn't get him a gift? Is he 12? You don't just marry a person, you also take on their family. I wouldn't be too keen on taking on this man or his family.

Your partner is being weird; his story makes absolutely no sense.

In any case it’s his side, his responsibility.

I actually hate receiving gifts from other adults unless very close family. I find it totally unnecessary.

Wouldn’t all gifts to his (your partners) side of the family automatically be from him and you?

Why do you personally have to buy extra gifts for each family member (& their spouses)?

Honestly this whole thing seems weird. I think your partner has obviously set you up here, by firstly telling you not to bother with the gift, then announcing your lack of gift to everyone as if you’re some nasty bitch when in reality it was his decision/his idea? Very manipulative.

personally, it’s an alien concept to me to buy gifts for everyone in this situation. You haven’t even known these people a year, yet you’ve got another 4 people to buy for? His mum/sister/bil likely don’t even see you as that important in their lives. To me, the gift giving relationship takes more time, when your relationship is more established

It’s just so difficult for me to believe a grown man wants a gift so badly that he’s pouting/ unhappy and that he will be pacified by a box of chocolates. It seems silly to me that he so desperately wants to open something

op I do think next year your partner buys for his family including this fiancé who by then will be BIL. Don’t make a rod for your back

Did you remember to buy your partner’s sister’s fiancé’s sibling a gift because I fear this might become an issue too?

I don't understand why your DP didn't tell you this a week ago? I would be annoyed at your DP for not mentioning this earlier and also for not admitting to his sis that it was him who told you not to bother buying fiancee a present. Seems like your DP has thrown you under the bus here and I would not be impressed with that.

The answer to this is that gifts are joint from you and your partner - no messing about doing separate ones unless you genuinely enjoy buying little extras for mum and sister. But your name still goes on the ones your partner bought.

Exactly. This is how your partner’s sister’s finance has got out of doing any shopping or thinking 😂.

I would be making a quick getaway from this family as it shows you how your future will be.....

Who needs that kind of drama in their life?!

What has tour partner got him? Put your name in that.