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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a MIL one…..

52 replies

cosmobrown · 24/12/2025 12:26

background - I am autistic and pretty set in my ways. Everyone knows this.

MIL likes to "help" when she comes to visit. I find this very difficult and everyone also knows this. Because of where she lives she visits for multiple days at a time. I have said to DH I can only cope for max 5 days!
She arrived yesterday and announced she will be staying until the New Year!!!!!
I said to DH did he know this, and he said yes, but she will go to other relatives for a few days. He hadn't explained this to me before so it was a shock.
Today MIL has "helped" by taking my washing out of the machine for me and leaving it (folded up) wet, in the basket.

AIBU to not want MIL going through my washing - which includes underwear?
I'm already set on edge now and she's only been here a matter of hours.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 24/12/2025 12:39

Your husband needs reading the riot act for doing this behind your back. He presumably knows you're autistic and knows this would be dysregulating for you, it's really unfair of him to basically make plans behind your back and only tell you when it's too late to protest.

I'd be taking myself out for several of the days if it were me in your exact situation.

Clefable · 24/12/2025 12:36

It doesn’t seem like she’s done anything wrong. Your DH is the one at fault for not telling you her plans. The washing is presumably just her trying to be a useful visitor and help out. On the other side, people complain when MILs visit and sit expecting to be waited on, so I’m not sure they can win sometimes.