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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel sorry for the DMIL’s at this time of year?

85 replies

JayF2 · 24/12/2025 10:00

The Mumsnetter DMIL’s that is. Don’t get me wrong, I know some will be horrible. But the poor buggers can’t get a break! If they so much as break wind they will receive an essay of a post on here bemoaning their character!

OP posts:
ICanStillSayIDontRemember · 24/12/2025 10:18

My Mum must be a good MIL as my brothers’ wives are always over there independently and use her for child care a lot.
My MIL speaks to me as if I’ve just arrived on the Earth and I don’t have a brain cell, tells me how to raise my children after doing an appalling job with her own when they were young and asks my children inappropriate questions. I avoid her as much as as humanly possible. FIL is on the same scale.

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 24/12/2025 10:17

I think it's because only the bad gets spoken about.

My exdp's mum died when dd was only as few weeks old, but she was amazing and whilst she disclose stuff that drove me crazy, by and large she was amazing and I loved her dearly. Even 12 years on I miss her. In her last few weeks she insisted I called her mum, told all the staff in the hospital that i was her daughter. She refused to buy anything for dd when inwa pregnant in case it wasnt to my taste, but looked like she had won the lottery jackpot when I she gave me money she had saved tongue things and I insisted she came with me and helped chose things.

My dh's mum is the original narcissist. She makes awful comments and then acts clueless when people are annoyed with her. I am civil but I ensure that she is dh's issue and that he attends to her.

greenwithglee · 24/12/2025 10:14

Diarygirlqueen · 24/12/2025 10:02

I agree, I'm dreading becoming a mil.
I wonder why mums of girls are so perfect...?

My MIL is great, my mum however is a pain in the arse....

ShanghaiDiva · 24/12/2025 10:10

Bigearringsbigsmile · 24/12/2025 10:02

Literally can't do ANYTHING right!

Indeed! MIL asking if they should pick up veg from the farm shop is seen as weird and controlling behaviour!

BuffaloCauliflower · 24/12/2025 10:07

Ah not all! I’ll be with my lovely MIL tomorrow, she’ll spoil the kids, praise anything I contribute, be kind and chill and offer me more champagne.
There are some threads here where I do wonder at people though, the MIL arriving at 6am is definitely in the wrong!

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/12/2025 10:04

Grandparents, too.

IPM · 24/12/2025 10:03

YANBU

A lot of MNetters seem to hold them to much higher standards than the men, and even themselves.

grinchmcgrinchface · 24/12/2025 10:03

Some deserve it, like the one turning up at 6am every christmas morning. 😳 but aye, some definitely don’t!

Diarygirlqueen · 24/12/2025 10:02

I agree, I'm dreading becoming a mil.
I wonder why mums of girls are so perfect...?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 24/12/2025 10:02

Literally can't do ANYTHING right!