To feel sorry for the DMIL’s at this time of year?

Maybe the difference being the daughter understands her mum and will tell her to pack her shit in.

While the daughter in law fumes under the surface with a partner who won’t tell his mum to pack it in.

Mil turned up with friends , ate ops cake , took baby out and then took him in place she didn't want him to go .

That's it folks!

Schrödinger's MIL?

Love my MIL. She’s amazing. My own mum is too. Had both sets of parents over Christmas Day all together, was great.

My MIL is fine, I’m sure I could nit pick and find things to be annoyed about but I’m also sure she could do the same with me. A lot of the MIL rage I find is actually more about having a useless husband and that resentment boiling over. My husband isn’t shy to stand up for himself (not that he has much reason to) but I also want him to be happy so wouldn’t dream of nit picking at my MIL because I’m sure it wouldn’t make him feel great.

Second this 🤣

I won't say my own mother is an angel. But MIL has her moments. Last year it was forgetting one of her SIL is allergic to oranges 3 times and bringing orange juice to every meal, get adapting everything to be gluten free for the other SIL despite this being a preference. I am pregnant and have been offered smoked salmon 3 times, because "I can't remember everything you can't eat" but other DIL food preference (very loose vegetarian) is pandered too.

They really are not. I would love a nice MIL, even a half nice one would do. God I have met lovely ladies where I think why can't they be my MIL. Dh doesn't have a Mum (complicated circumstances). I've a very strained relationship with my own DM and this makes the lack of MIL even worse! I am only in more frequent contact with DM due to my young dcs, otherwise it would be low contact. For the record aswell, I have boys, so I am ready to be the MIL from hell🤣. I always find lovely DILs seem to have bad MILs, and amazing MIL's have bad DIL's!!

YANBU! For what it's worth I had a nice one but sadly she had a brain tumor and we lost her at 60. My mum is lovely and well meaning, but the verbal diarrhoea is another level which I get can be annoying. Hopefully her caring side with shine through if my brother ever settles. I have 2 boys so I have no chance 😅

I’ve had 3 MILs from 2 different marriages - all were nicer and kinder to me than my DM - but I’m quite a laid back person and don’t sweat the small stuff and I’m not rigid about things - although I would draw the line at the 6am MIL poster.

My MIL is on her way over. She’s lovely, and I’m happy to spend Christmas with her; she’s good fun and generally a nice person to be around!

Same.....

My DM has decided to stay home this yeat but is now plying on the guilt trip about HER decision 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

I'll be spending a relaxed day with my wonderful MIL, can't wait!

I love my DMIL. She brought up my DH and his siblings alone and is lovely. I would have her to live with us in a heartbeat. I hope I have DILs like me 🤣

This is the first year, in 15 years of marriage that MIL is spending Christmas Day with us (she’s always gone back to her home country to spend Christmas with a relative who wouldn’t travel, but she died this year, so they aren’t going).

We have always had a second Christmas when they got home, but it’s not really the same.

I’m excited to spend the day with her. Not everyone hates their mother in law. Mine is great. She will get tipsy, start speaking in Italian and laugh the whole time.

My MIL is absolutely incredible. Love her dearly

My first husband died only 18mths into our marriage but I still have his parents in my life, they live a 4 hr drive away and arrived 2 days ago to stay for the week so far she has ironed everything in sight (I never ever iron, that's DH job). she has made dinner both days, made the croquettes for tomorrow, the stuffing, the mince pies, brought a homemade pudding and cake with her. Insisted I sit under the baby while her and former FIL minded and brought out the other 4 and although only 2 of them are their blood grandsons, they treat and adore all 5 as if they were their own. I just adore the pair of them, as does DH.
My current inlaws are equally as amazing.
They both had very mean, cold and critical MILs and always swore they would do their best to be the opposite and they have succeeded.
However they each have a DIL who would not agree with either myself or all the other men and women who have married into their families so they are 100% the DILs from hell.
I currently have 5 sons and just plan on being exactly like them when my time comes and hope for the best!!!

Mine used to try and spoil Christmas Day in particular. My Christmas is much more pleasant without her.

I have plenty of friends who either get on with MIL, can tolerate in small doses etc. it doesn’t mean I could do the same with mine.

Don’t feel sorry for my mil. I have just cooked her a lovely buffet full of her vegetarian faves and she is now having tea and mince pie!

I think I'm a nice mil.
I don't overstep,I don't just turn up.
But you never really know.
But I'd like to think if I done so.ething to upset dil she could tell me.

My friend married an orphan no mil problems ever 😅

My mil is on a winter cruise I’m sure she’s fine 😁

I’m another with a lovely MiL. She is like a Mum to me because my own Mother is woefully inadequate.

I have 3 boys and will try and be the kind of Mil mine is - non-judgemental, kind and funny!

You are more charitable than me OP.

Having escaped my MIL, I have avoided close relationships ever since. I am not going through all that nastiness again.

On the bright side I am now so old, any man I date is unlikely to have a mum still around. 😀

My mil has stayed out of my kitchen as requested, cleaned her plate of Christmas dinner, and is happily watching star wars.

Me too, my MIL is the loveliest. really thoughtful, loves the kids, always helpful and kind, we’re so different but we get on great.

We do exist…