To hate Xmas?

But surely at the very least you could have a three year cycle of either set of parents and a year at home? As the absolute bare minimum.

I’ve had various family staying from 22nd - 27th. Last one left at midday today. I am exhausted and so happy to have my house back and it’s quiet.

I end up hosting most years. If I didn’t, people would be alone.

Very sad 😔 is about helping others being kind an not judging, only way to be happy.x

I am sick of hosting every year. Somehow we have the PILa every single year while DH’s sister never has them and just comes to us when it’s her turn to see them.

I have told DH I want a year off next year and have it just us and teens. But then he’d be grumpy and call the day boring. He’d ruin my quiet day. I can’t win.

It’s one day. Nothing to stress about. 🤷‍♀️

I 100% agree and am in exactly the same boat. You are not being unreasonable. I'm really starting to resent it.

Do you only have the obligatory visit at Christmas? You should be visiting them all year round anyway if they're elderly and alone. I'm not saying you need to become their sole support but a half hour visit every month would be a start.

In theory you’re correct, but things like obligation, peer pressure etc come into play in real life.

I don’t think I’ve ever done Christmas exactly as I would like. I went from living with my parents who obviously decided how we spent Christmas…then moved in with my partner who had obligations to his parents as well so we used to take two families into account when deciding on plans, and that carried on into eternity.

Not once have we gone “fuck the lot of them, let’s do what WE fancy”. It’s our own fault, but I think a lot of people are in the same boat and don’t want to upset other family members.

Even now, we end up bowing to the pressure of our adult dc who enjoy a particular kind of Christmas Day.

Have christmas your way!! Its actually an excellent time to curl up with a book because there's no work and no pinging emails or expectations to go out anywhere.... Last year we catered for 13 guests and this year I was adamant I was spending the day in pjs or leggings and watching some tv with a gin. So that's what we did, had some lovely food cooked exactly the way we wanted, a nice dog walk and then plenty of crisps, chocolate, tv and a bath with a book :-). See family on other days leading into the 25th if you want to/feel you need to (we saw SiL mid Dec and then other family members boxing day and will see some over the next couple of days)

Absolutely! Currently sitting at DM’s counting down until it’s polite to leave! Every year we say we won’t visit but we always do!

I like Christmas but do struggle a bit with the lack of time to myself. DH has a habit of overscheduling us whenever he is off work. I enjoy spending time at home but he's constantly trying to find places to go and people to see. New Year's Day will be our next opportunity for a quite day at home.

I hate the waste and excess, the FOMO that results in 35 different boxes of chocolates and cakes, the mountain of plastic tat and gifts no one wants or needs.
The stuff that is purchased just to be rubbish: cards, crackers, wrapping paper. Waste food because God forbid the supermarket is closed for a day.

I just dont recognise this.

I don't buy peole tat and no-one buys tat for us, either. We buy each other nice gifts that the recipient likes (books, prefume, jewellery, games etc.). We have extra food in that we don't usually eat (because we're usually healthy) but enjoy on a special occasions. We eat what we have, we don't throw stuff away.

I always feel like people jump on this bandwagon about 'tat', 'gluttony' and 'waste' to justify them not enjoying it. They take the worst case scenarios that are probably in the vast minority and pitch this as though it's the norm - it's not IMO.

Why are you catwring, hosting and spending time with people you actively dislike? That's the problem here.

Can't you read your book in peace or watch crappy films on Christmas Eve or Boxing day?

I like the things you want to do too, I just do them on a different day.

YANBU, I was just thinking yesterday that Christmas should be an enjoyable time, but stress and obligation suck the joy out of it.
I enjoyed yesterday because it was just me, DH, teen DCs and dog. Even the hours of cooking was less stressful because I wasn’t also hosting and entertaining guests. No travelling, no socialising. Much less pressure. Some years we do have family round but it was lovely to just have a more peaceful day this year.

No one is forcing you to host or be jolly … you have a choice. Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Plus, you can read your book and watch TV anytime.
one day you might not have anyone to spend Xmas with 🤷🏻‍♀️

We find joy in the season in a different way. We love winter walks. We have a garden filled with trees. We eat "yummy food" every day, not just because it's Christmas when everyone feels obliged to overindulge.
Tinsel and turkey by yourself seems far sadder to me than an understated, peaceful midwinter.

My exact thoughts

My exact thoughts

I don't have anyone at all - no partner, no parents, no kids, no siblings - and yet here I am with a decorated tree and lots of yummy food. I think it's rather sad that people can't find a bit of joy in the season.

It's ONE DAY. How hard is it to make a bit of an effort?

I absolutely fucking hate it, it is a hugely triggering time for me for very personal reasons and there is no escape from the sodding adverts/songs in shops/other shit that starts earlier and earlier each year. I could cry with gratitude that it's almost done.

I cook a roast and drink alcohol all day Christmas day