To be upset about Christmas?

If you and dh are doing Christmas on boxing day then it is just a normal morning. Have a chilled morning, take her for a walk then go at 1pm. If you arrive at 1.40 and leave at 6pm (if you dont want to have later bedtime) that is still a big chunk of the day and a lovely family meal.

Would also feel like you are punishing grandparents for the travel plan being slightly different. I expect they mentioned you were coming and relative offered to collect as passing anyway rather than lots arranged without you.

Kindly OP, other people don't tell you how things go. You decide.

'we going to pick you up at 1pm'

'thanks for the offer but that's too late for us, I don't want to spend the morning alone. We'll get a cab much earlier and see you there! Bye'

Nearly New Year, new assertive you.

Surely your daughter doesn't have to go to bed at 7pm. There's usually flexibility around Christmas and going on holiday. She might even go to sleep in the car on the way home. I'd get her ready before leaving and, if she did go to sleep, put her straight to bed on arrival. If she wakes keep her downstairs with you, playing for a while, until she drops off again. She is eighteen months old, not a new born. Don't be so fixed in your routine, it's Christmas.

Do go, you'll have a lovely time.

Because she’s a guest at their house

So your real Christmas Day is on Boxing Day with your DH?

Honestly in that case I would just accept the family lift, and have Christmas lunch with your parents and the afternoon.

I can see why an hour and 20 mins return journey on Christmas morning when they are prepping lunch is something they would avoid if another relative is passing yours anyway. And a taxi would have been extortionate, that distance on Christmas Day.

Aren’t you going to be having your Christmas dinner there?

For some reason I misread and thought they were picking you up at 6pm! 1-6 sounds like plenty of time to me. Hopefully that means your dd will be able to nap before too. I wouldn’t want a guest much longer than that or to be a guest for the whole day with my baby.

Sounds to me like your parents want a bit of chill time xmas morning.

I think this would be quite rude actually, your parents have invited you round for Christmas Day and are presumably cooking lunch. They have also organised you a lift. My take on the situation is that they want the morning to themselves to cook, clean and have a bit of quiet time before the (nice) madness of Christmas starts. Cooking lunch with a toddler underfoot is very stressful so maybe they want to avoid that. If you really can’t manage for the morning on your own then there’s no harm in explaining that to them and asking if you can get a taxi over earlier but those posters suggesting that you insist on arriving at a time that suits you are being incredibly entitled…try to see this from your parent’s perspective too Op and talk to them.

Tell them no that it doesn't work for you and that you will get a taxi

Why do let other people tell you want to do?

Op what time were you thinking of going to your parents?

1pm sounds early enough to me. Giving your parents time for a lazy morning, open gifts and get showered and dressed.
Along side last minute Christmas dinner preparations.

What time do your parents want you? Maybe 1pm suits them better. Have you discussed it with your parents? Also kids are able to stay up later on occasions.

Just take DDs jammies and put her to bed there, pick her up in a blanket and take her home later. Many's the time we did this with ours, often they slept straight through the move!!!

Do some communicating op. Phone parents and tell them you’ll just get a taxi. Is there a backstory here or something?

I would just book a taxi and tell your parents you’ll be there earlier than 1pm. Thank the person offering the lift but say, I’d like to go earlier.

A) unarrange it
B) keep your child up later
C) allow child to nap at GP

How would they react if you said you wanted to come earlier and have more time there? Are they perhaps wanting to limit your visiting time because of DC being so young and it being a lot for them to handle a small child for the whole day?

Lots of people have to work on Christmas, it doesn't look like a Hallmark card scene for everyone. Your parents probably think you are used to it if DP has worked previous years, if you want company you need to tell them you'd like to come round earlier in a taxi.

Your daughter will be fine...

Tell family member you want to get there earlier so you're not alone all morning and get the taxi. As others have said, DD can stay up or if particularly young can fall asleep on the sofa and you can carry her to the car on the way back.

Can't dd go to bed there for a bit before you have to leave, then you can enjoy some of the evening with your parents? Or could you stay the night and dp pick you up in the morning? I'd probably give her an 'early' gift to keep her busy for the morning and take it slow.

So you then call back and say no!

Unless your DM fancies a quiet morning before the storm?

Ring and ask before booking the taxi!

Other option - could you stay at your mum’s on Christmas Eve?

Oh, and DC can stay up a bit! It’s Christmas, all bets are off 😀

Get a taxi when it suits YOU. No arguments. You’re a strong independent woman who goes where she wants, when she wants.