To be upset about Christmas?

Personally I would be mortified to be an adult human competent enough to parent a child - but still requires a parent to collect them .. learn to drive !! So many women on MN - yes women .. who seem to be living in the 19 bloody 50s where the partner drives and they don’t . Leaving them in this type of dependency on others .
Inevitably there will now be a slew of justifications as to why you aren’t driving. If it’s expense then that’s bollox. Sacrifice your holiday this year in preference to life long independence. Your partner can drive because he prioritised it. !

If your excuse is health , then unless you have serious sight issues , uncontrolled daytime seizures /central tremor. Then sorry , it’s not an excuse. No im sorry but ‘I’m too anxious’ won’t cut it. My youngest took 5 tries to get her test . Not because she was a shit driver but because she is overcome with nerves . However she knew how important it would be to her life, so ploughed on until she passed.

My neighbour is wheelchair bound with spina bifida. Has a motorbility car specially adapted. This is open to anyone whose medical condition affects their mobility. FGS - my 78 year old one eyed Aunt drives herself around the country . Time to get a grip and take your independence seriously.

The only people who don’t need to drive are those that live in the utopia of 24/7 public transport. You don’t need to OWN a car as there are car clubs, hire options etc but needing another adult to facilitate your movements is really not acceptable in 2025.

Phone your mum and talk to her, did you expect to go early morning? Without actually taking to her you don’t know the reasons.

if it has to be 1pm, then you can have a lovely morning with your daughter, bake some gingerbread men or do some crafty thing. Spend time getting ready make it fun start some traditional thing you can do in future years when daddy is working.

at your mums - take pjs and a blanket- my grandchildren often fall asleep at my house and wake up the next day at home.

I would let little one have an extra nap in the daytime and keep them awake a bit later in the evening. Tell your parents you’ll be getting a taxi at a time that suits you. Nobody needs to be offended or upset.

I honestly don't know why you're upset by this. They are prepping in the morning and your arriving at lunchtime. Perfectly reasonable. Someone is driving so they've suggested they pick you up.

You aren't on your own , you're with your child until lunchtime. You are being utterly ridiculous and very selfish, perhaps it's too much for your parents having a little one while they're prepping
Children don't adhere to normal bedtimes at Christmas why are you so inflexible? Just put in PJs let them sleep there and take them home when you want

All of this

Can you just be honest and say to your parents you were hoping to come earlier because of the reasons you’ve mentioned and ask if they’ve arranged this because it suits them for you to come later for some reason? Just be honest. If you have a good relationship with them there’s no point hopping around and feeling hurt without giving them the chance to explain and/or understand your perspective.

So, ask your parents if it is OK to get there earlier then book a taxi.

just book a taxi for 11am

Thats not assertive, its rude.
She doesn't get to decide by herself what time she shows up at someone else's home. It should be by mutual agreement. So many posters on here are so rude and haven't considered that maybe the hosts don't want guests until the afternoon. Whatever happened to "your house, your rules"?

@andanotherproblem just call your parents and ask if they would mind if you came over earlier via taxi

They are trying to be helpful. I doubt they will mind if you book a taxi. After all it saves them the trouble.

Speak up then, call your parents. Use your words.

I have never invited people over at a certain time and they turn around and tell me, no sorry that doesn't work for me, I will turn up 3 hours earlier than that. It's not how things work when you are invited to someones house. The choice you have is get picked up at 1pm or don't go at all, which would be worse.

If you want complete agency over what you do on Christmas day, you need to learn to drive.

I imagine taxis need to be pre-booked for Chrostmas Day so last minute chanhes/bookings are tricky

I think you can have a very nice morning @andanotherproblem. Have a nice breakfast, go to church - it's lovely on Christmas morning, have a leaf kick in the park on the way home. Buy yourself half a bottle of champagne and some lovely chocs for tomorrow night.

Ring your parents and check the timings. Explain that you feel going over at 1pm is a bit late as you want to put the little one to bed at their usual time and are happy to get a taxi.
As others have said they either think it is more convenient that the passing relative picks you up, or there is the possibility they have realised they want a quiet morning so would rather you come later anyway. What was the original plan if they were collecting you?

OMG just a taxi what is the problem

Why does op decide? She's the guest, it would be so bad mannered to just turn up in the morning if her parents have planned for 1pm.

And did you tell them thank you but that doesn't work for you?

This is how I have read the situation too.

Ignore pps. Your parents were obviously going to collect you earlier than 1pm. I am sure the new plan is just a convenience thing rather than they don't want you there earlier. But again, be assertive and ask them.

Have you asked if you can come around earlier OP? If so, I would get a taxi.

I bet your parents don’t realize how weepy you’re feeling about Christmas alone and are just arranging an easy ride for the dinner. Get the taxi, and if DC is making preparations tricky, take her to grandma’s park or cuddle up and watch numberblocks on your phone

Exactly. many posters seem to be forgetting her parents are the ones hosting!

I'm on the fence, I think if your parents were chomping at the bit to have you over as early as possible they'd have encouraged you to get a taxi over early.

They've actively arranged you a lift at 1pm instead, and I'd read this as them wanting a bit of space until then.

Why don't you ring them and tell them that you don't want to be alone Christmas morning so you'd like to head over earlier in a cab, or if that doesn't work for them you'll make other arrangements (then you can plan to bake, or feed the ducks or craft or walk round the neighbourhood doing random acts of kindness, whatever). Talk to them, tell them how you feel, find out how they feel. Move forward.

Erm, this would work if Op was the one hosting but “don’t let other people tell you want to do” when those other people are the hosts who invited you is madness.

Imagine that in any other scenario “we’d love you to come to dinner on Friday, come at 7pm we’ll eat at 8pm)

Op, oh no I never let other people tell me what to do so I’ll be arriving at 5.30pm.

Yep exactly

If you can't get one at this stage, just go for 4 hours and get the taxi next time.