To be upset about Christmas?

So just let them know you don't need a lift and get a taxi instead? And if you need to put your daughter down at 7 put her down to sleep. She surely doesn't have to be in her own bed??

Seems like you're having a sulk because someone's suggested doing it in a slightly different way than you want really.

Christ alive, just pick up the phone and speak to your mum!

Get a taxi there and god forbid let your child stay up a little later on Christmas Day! Could you not stay the night at your parents? Be a bit more flexible on Xmas day and have fun. Merry Christmas x

Get the taxi.

Rewind. The OP made plans with her parents for an earlier collection and a longer day at theirs. A relative - not the parents - called to say they would he passing by at 1pm and would pick her up then instead. The OPs plans were changed without her agreement. Assertive is saying no thanks, and going back to the parents. Nothing rude at all about it.

It’s not rude to explain to the parents how you feel and ask, what is rude though is what many posters have suggested which is to simply refuse the lift and insist on arriving earlier regardless of what the parents want.
That’s not being “assertive” that’s treating others as if what they want and need is unimportant compared to your own needs.

I’m actually in a similar position to you Op and have been every year since DS was born (I’m a single parent but he’s a little older now) my dsis invites us over to hers but not until 2pm start (she wants the morning to prepare) I wouldn’t dream of trying to invite myself earlier because she’d agree to be nice but be secretly stressed out by it.
Even though your parents would probably agree if you rang them and explained how hard you will find it to solo parent your DD for the morning, it seems as though this is something that will be repeated over the years. If DH has to work. So, why not start now creating a few Christmas traditions of your own for the morning? A nice breakfast, a stocking of fun things to explore (big presents tomorrow still) a walk, church?
Relying on your parents to entertain you both may well work for this year but becoming a little more independent might work better for you for the future.
my Ds is a teenager now and I miss those little moments.

Wait, you will be there for over four hours. That’s enough! Certainly for your kid. And maybe for your parents!

What’s your relationship like with your family? I moved out almost 20 years ago, but once I get to my parents it feels like being home. I turn up and leave when I want so on that basis I would ring my dad say, I really want to come earlier, can you come get me at 11? But if he couldn’t I would get a taxi. I would also allow my 1.5 yo to fall asleep there when she was tired and ask DP to pick us up on way home from work. But having spent years alternating between parents for Christmas dinner, when that came to an end during Covid, I did realise that I did actually like the morning in my own house, going at our own pace so depending on what time your LO gets up, I would factor in a couple of hours with her, if you are not doing big presents on the day you could still have a Christmassy breakfast or something.

Wrong post

Being assertive isn't necessarily rude, arriving hours earlier than you have been invited to on your own accord is rude. I can see lots of reasons why the people who are hosting would prefer to have the morning to themselves to prep in peace, I don't see how it's acceptable for a guest to take it upon themself to decide what time they should arrive.

They probably think they are doing you a favour, as a taxi on Christmas Day where I live are triple tariff. A 30-40 minute taxi ride would cost a small fortune. That may feel worth it to you for a couple of extra hours of company, and they just don’t realise. Others have suggested alternative ways of having longer with your parents though, if that would work for you and them.

Well it is rude to tell someone you are going to turn up to their home at a different time to the invite without asking. It isn't rude to ask if you can change plans, or to choose not to go.

Why are people made to feel guilty if they don’t drive? If they know their limitations, feel they would not make a good confident driver, then they’re better off not driving. It’s not for everyone.

You can see why though as well from this thread. Posters suggesting being assertive is rude. These same posters are probably raising daughters. Vicious circle.

Double check with your parents. They may have been strong armed into it too.

That would be pretty rude. It would, however, be fine to ask if they would mind if you get there earlier as you would like to enjoy some of the morning together if that works for them.

Think you are making unnecessary drama.
They were probably trying to be helpful.in sorting out a lift for you.. If you aren't happy with the arrangement- sort your own out.

The price on Christmas day?

Mountains and molehills spring to mind.

I’m dumbfounded by the sheer level of passiveness being shown by women on these threads this year. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just resolve it! Book a taxi and explain to your parents “thank you for the offer of the lift but I want to start the celebrations earlier!” Assuming you’re confident they’re happy for you to be there earlier. Honestly it’s not rocket science, start as you mean to go on and be more assertive.

Well tell them not to bother, you'll sort your own transport.

Its the offer of a lift, not a court summons. You are allowed to refuse and make your own arrangements.

"Aww thank you but ill come earlier so tell Sharon its fine, no need to collect me"

Control your own life.
How do you manage if you can not say - No, thank you, We are getting there earlier via taxi - to an arranged ride?
Pack some pyjamas for child.

40 minutes in a taxi and it's probably going to be double the fare for Christmas? Where I live that would be at least twelve quid for a two mile journey at Christmas

I'd be taking the lift. And as someone else said you might need to pre book