To be upset about Christmas?

Stick with your presumably booked taxi. Since when does the family member get to decide your timings?! Stop being such a doormat!

It doesn't make sense to me either, have a lazy morning or get up go for a walk with LO and it will be 1pm before you know it.

Give parents time to themselves inc opening their gifts to each other, sorting dinner.

Don't be like the MIL that thinks 6am is an acceptable time to rock up, even 9am is really early others are saying 12 would be more civilised

I think you're looking at it the wrong way. Surely it's better the family member will pick you up rather than a stranger, and you can use/fit your car seat, it will much less stress for you surely? I'd rather have the relaxing morning, knowing I'd be picked up and then get to go home again at a certain time. And then get to do 2nd Christmas day with partner! Honestly, sounds ideal to me. I'd be thrilled considering the circumstances of your partner working. But I'm a homebody so I'd prefer to see no one else on Christmas day apart from my spouse and child.

Exactly. Arriving around 1pm sounds perfect if you are invited to somebody's house and perfect for the hosts too. I don't understand the OP saying they will be alone for most of the day. Get up,have a nice breakfast,get ready and it soon will be time to be picked up.Plus,I assume that the husband will be back from work in the evening?

I do think you can never make everyone happy with Christmas. OP is upset bc they will only spend 5 hours at parents for Christmas. Whereas hosting is extremely stressful, their parents likely see it as helpful that the family member can take the lift off their plate, and likely just want some time in the morning to get things ready without the pressure of hosting simultaneously.

Can you be clear on what your issue is?

You don't feel welcome to arrive early?
Or
You do feel welcome but relative is controlling?

If it's the former try not to take it personally. Your parents probably just want some peace on the morning of a long day.

Ok but now that you know, can you not get a taxi? Just call around many will be operating tomorrow, or use uber etc

Well either text them to say you have sorted a taxi, as you’d like to get there earlier. Or let your little one stay up later.

Why is everyone taking about hosts and guests? It’s parents and child situation, I really don’t get the invite/accept thing.

You will have a minimum of 4 1/2 hours with them, more if you have some flex on your child's bedtime. I don't see that as not worth going for.

If this was a reverse thread and hosts were saying someone is turning up hours before they want them, then everyone would agree the guest was out of order. They'll be prepping and a toddler isnt helpful!

Morning at home, back for bedtime. Sounds fine to me

Honestly, don't think this is a big issue at all

Why can't you cope with one child on your own for a few hours?

This is all a bit pathetic, OP. You are a grown adult with a child of your own and should be capable of communicating your preferences to other adults. If this timing doesn’t work for you, let your mother know and either ask for an earlier lift or take some initiative and book a taxi. Be responsible for yourself - you’re acting as if you have no agency.

Speak to your mum and then book a taxi to suit you & parents. (Taxi will need good advance warning so don’t delay )

Take babies sleep gear with you so you can get her/him ready for bed at mums? I used to visit my mum & get baby ready at her place.

Baby/toddler would fall asleep in car going home so I’d pop sleepy head straight into bed when we reached home. It meant I could spend a bit longer at mums.

Would that work?

I agree with everyone saying book the taxi. It’s never good to be dependent on lifts any way - autonomy is generally the way to go.

I think your post is pretty silly - you are looking for a reason for things to be rubbish. Unless there is a back story, how are you able to explain on MN that you are unhappy, and not your parents. Or do you know they will react the same as many on here and tell you to get a taxi and stop being a wimp about your child having to go to bed at 7am. There are ways around all your problems. They are not even problems!

What time were your parents meant to be picking you up?

Chances are they weren’t planning on picking you up until roughly that time anyway.

Just speak to them and say X said they’re picking you up at 1 but you’re happier to come earlier.

Are your parents cooking?
It can be quite a lot to cook and host and pick people up too.
If someone else is driving then it makes sense for them to do it.

Get a taxi or ask DH to drop you off.

Your Xmas is on Boxing Day and so it doesn’t really matter if you’re alone on Xmas day morning.

If you are not paying, then I guess you have to accommodate. So book your own taxi, pay for it yourself, and you have control over the arrangements 🤷🏻‍♀️

So? Just book a taxi and cancel this lift.

As someone who has hosted Xmas day for years 1 pm sounds about right!
I was a LP and liked Xmas morning just me and dc. We had our own traditions, then later extended family and chaos, then everyone gone by 8 so I could put my feet up and watch Call the midwife!
Also OP your child is a baby still and won’t actually know the difference.

I fail to see the issue 1 is not late to be picked up and you don’t need to stick rigidly to bedtime .

Op, stop being a wet blanket and actually speak to your parents for goodness sake!!!

I agree

You’re a grown up. Say no, that you’d rather get a taxi but thanks anyway.

Also in the camp of a quiet morning and a late bed for DC though.