To prefer a generic gift over a 'thoughtful' one?

Yes I agree, my husband is fantastic but always wants me to have atleast one ‘surprise’ gift each year, which I’m not fussed about at all! Rather just buy me the exact thing I want or something small like biscuits etc, rather than trainers that I won’t wear

I’m no longer a receiver of gifts but I loved getting a boots 3for2 or coffee or hot chocolate.
I asked for mustard, coffee and olive oil one year and it was brilliant, lasted forever and had reminders of people when I cooked.

My parents were awful gift givers because they tried too hard to be “quirky” and “original”, and nine times out of ten got stuff they wanted for themselves or because they thought it would make them look clever or different. It was honestly exhausting. I ended up with loads of shit I would never wear/use/read because they hadn’t taken the time to get me what I actually wanted.

My DP and I are very direct and give each other lists of links. It does the job: it may not be imaginative or creative but it means no one is disappointed.

What’s your advice for people that do exactly this and are ignored?

I’d much rather adults didn’t bother buying for adults, so much easier to buy what you actually want rather than all the expensive but totally inappropriate presents people end up with.

Maybe tell people what specific thing it is you want. Just a thought.

Yes! Me too! I read that thread and thought omg I bet the son hates the mothers thoughtful gift!

I agree as I hate waste but this is why Vinted exists! Your rubbish is another person's treasure. 😂

My family are all inexpensive link lists and booze, so pretty much stress-free, but l have this one friend who spends a lot and prides herself on knowing just what to buy for people and she's always wrong! It's a sort of "You have a horse so here's a large bronze statuette of someone else's horse" kind of thinking ...

I'd love to just stop exchanging presents but she puts a lot of stock in the ritual ( another friend suggested going gift-free this year and she was really upset ) l'm going to bite the bullet next year, though - she's on a fixed income and it's such a waste. Any tactful phrasing suggestions welcome!

I hate the ‘carefully selected’ bollocks because it’s never what I’d choose for myself.

Even my sister gets it completely wrong but thinks as she’s known me forever and has impeccable taste, she knows best.

We’re chalk and cheese and I think she thinks she can improve me but you’d think after 60 years, she’d have learnt by now!! 😂😂

Wouldn't you prefer to be just done with the whole gift giving thing entirely? I don't know why all adults don't just agree that the whole thing is ridiculous and just agree not to do adult gifts at all.

Agree.

You’re a Scrooge for not wanting gifts, you’re ungrateful for not liking a gift, it’s wrong to desire a gift that you actually like from people who have known you for years even when they ask you and choose something else because they thought your choices weren’t ‘proper gifts’, it’s rude to not accept a gift and you should be thankful they thought of you in the first place.

Perfectly fine to ignore people saying they don’t want anything because the giver is doing something “nice” for you but not kind to you because it’s Christmas.

Everyone knows I love chocolate. But I'm very difficult; dark chocolate, possibly with nuts but no fruit. Well, every single year I get chocolate I don't like from uncle- and they are expensive ! Dark with alcohol that I hate so I can't even give them to the kids. So each year I'm giving it to a friend who loves them. He has been told by my dh what I like but to no avail..he's probably spending 40£ on them..

The B&H cult on MN is seriously weired. It's as if no other supermarket brand existed. There was a thread yesterday when one poster said they would bin a B&H gift set but happily accept a Molten Brown one and another said they would be happy with ALL other brands apart B&H. No one seemed to realise that ALL handwash, regardless of the price/packaging/marketing is essentially the same thing, so to bin one brand and use another is ridiculous.
Then they start justifying their silly group think by attributing all sorts of nonsense to B&H such as slimy texture, inferior ingredients etc. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!! Or at least similar enough not to really matter

🤣 Good point. I should really be called AnAlpacaAndABaylisAndHardingSetForChristmasPleaseSanta. It just slips off the tongue.

Absolutely agree

I bloody love generic presents. Only on MN, where Bayliss & Harding basically has satanic meaning do you also get grief for liking said genetic products and being happy to receive them. And don't get me started on the ignoring links but buying something similar people.

Have a lovely Christmas @GaspingGekko filled with biscuits, candles and socks. And if anyone of the anti people receive such travesty's then DM me and I'll send you my address.

There's a weird phenomenon where generosity of the gift giver is more important than the gift receiver getting something they will appreciate and utilise.

"It's the thought that counts". I was told this as a child through endless naff gifts. As an adult, I've come to realise that the "thought" is I have to get Every something- any old thing will do because I'm soooo generous to give a gift and she has to be grateful.

I'm done with being happy with terrible gifts, please save your money and buy yourself something fab instead.

Yup, hand over that box of smeely stuff and chocolate. I rarely want things but when I do it’s specific, better I buy fir myself.

Very expensive gifts should only ever be bought in collaboration with the receiver (unless you can be 100% certain of what to get). It’s just too big a waste otherwise.

100% with you @GaspingGekko, I love a generic gift, particularly if it’s a ‘posh’ version as I’d never buy that myself. Anything specific I’d much rather get myself as I know what I like. Definitely comes from childhood when I’d ask for something very specific, my parents would buy something they considered to be “basically the same” which was actually totally different and not what I wanted at all, I’d then get told how ungrateful I was for being disappointed!

YANBU but this is very much a modern phenomenon.
300 years ago, when a pineapple was pretty much the most wonderful gift ever, you'd have been thrilled. Even 100 years ago, less fashion choice, less books to choose from, limited make up/toiletries options, any thoughtful gift would have been spot on. Now there are so many choices that most people know the exact model/spec of what they want and similar just doesn't cut it.

All of us and close relatives tend to write a list so we do generally buy/receive what we've chosen but my gin making kit from 3 or 4 Christmas's ago is still in a cupboard somewhere.

One of my absolute fave gifts is a Champneys set from Boots 3 for 2 which I often put on the (links!) list for my in-laws - but I rarely get one as I think they think it's a boring request!