Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this?

78 replies

ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:41

Hi all, dont know if im just overreacting.

To cut a long story short, struggling a lot with sleep lately due to pregnancy and DP hogging the bed. We have a kingsize so theres plenty room for both. Im now getting bigger with bump and DP has recently resorted to either lying on top of me or giving me such little space im hanging off the bed. This has now been happening for around 3 weeks.

Around 30 minutes ago he woke me up because he started lying on top of me again. Asked him to move around 5 times over the 30 minute period. Kept getting an attitude off him so i eventually lifted my pillows and a blanket to head downstairs for the sofa as ive got an early start at 5am.

As i took my pillows he woke up and said "what are you doing?" So i replied "im just heading downstairs to sleep because I dont want to keep waking you up when you start work tomorrow at 2pm" after i said this i was hit with "aw whatever, BYE!" in a very sarcastic way.

AIBU? i feel like hes being a bit selfish considering im not as small as i used to be now bump is well and truly out there.

OP posts:
mummydoorgirl · 25/12/2025 17:20

Oh OP this is such a massive red flag.
my abusive ex also made me sleep elsewhere during pregnancy, also after the birth when I was ill with an infection so was disturbing him! He went on to become more and more abusive over years. You need to keep a diary so you don’t become like a frog in a gradually boiling pot.

tothewindow25 · 25/12/2025 17:04

Nearly50omg · 24/12/2025 03:02

He’s VERY well
aware of what he is doing to you! Leave now while you can or if it’s your house throw him out!!! He is abusing you and many abusing men start abusing their partners during pregnancy so put yourself and your baby first and don’t bother going for counselling - you should NEVER have mediation with an abusive man

I normally find posts like this on MN quite over the top, but to be honest I can’t believe a grown man would suddenly start LYING ON TOP OF A SLEEPING PREGNANT WOMAN and have no idea he’s doing it.

so I’m sorry, but I tend to agree that this sounds like abuse.

He sounds awful, OP. My husband has never once lain on top of me in his sleep, much less when I was pregnant, and if he ever did, he would be very apologetic about it, not have an attitude.

This just isn’t normal.

LemaxObsessive · 25/12/2025 16:44

He sounds like a petulant toddler

BrokenWorldRecord · 25/12/2025 16:15

You are being unreasonable to refer to this selfish, overgrown child as a “partner”. He’s anything but.

Frugalgal · 25/12/2025 16:10

It's like some men take pregnancy as a signal to become utter cunts!

WallaceinAnderland · 25/12/2025 15:56

Make sure he never has the baby in bed with him. He would crush it.

Impactmascara · 25/12/2025 15:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 25/12/2025 15:28

Do you have a spare room? Get a bed to yourself if so. You'll never look back.

Welshmonster · 25/12/2025 14:57

So he rolls on top of you? Did he do this before you were pregnant? Either way he needs to be more mindful when he does realise

TomatoSandwiches · 25/12/2025 14:51

Flowerslamp · 24/12/2025 09:40

Isn't the point that he's asleep valid? Presumably he's moving in his sleep the maybe always had but now youre taking up more space?

No one's going to be at their best immediately after being woken during the night.

You need to talk about your sleeping arrnagements during the day.

I mean, if you think he's deliberately lying on top of his pregnant wife....

Edited

The man is stealing pillows from his pregnant wife and causing her sleep trouble.. even if he was genuinely doing this in his sleep upon being told he is causing her strife a good half decent husband would feel bad nad apologise, this shit head has decided to become defensive and argumentative and allow his uncomfortable wife to sleep on the sofa instead of himself.

This isn't a nice man at all in any way.

EatMoreChocolate44 · 25/12/2025 14:38

I think the vast majority of people want their own space when sleeping never mind when pregnant. I have 2 kids and a double bed and my partner and I never had any issues, he stayed to his half and me mine. It's really unacceptable and he should be apologetic and trying to come up with a solution. I've awful health anxiety and if someone was lying on top of me when heavily pregnant it would panic me.

allgoodbabybaby · 25/12/2025 14:33

Showing this much disregard for your current state AND the health of the baby by adding extra weight to you by lying on you (we're all warned about sleeping positions when pregnant) is a huge red flag. This man sounds too selfish to be a parent. If anyone, he should be offering to sleep on the couch, not you. I'd be reconsidering the whole relationship tbh but that's just me.

TheIceBear · 25/12/2025 14:09

I slept in a bed on my own when I was pregnant. I couldn’t hack it and needed my space.

Rednotdead · 25/12/2025 13:02

He’s an arse, roll up a blanket, place it down the centre of the bed and tell him to keep to his side if the blanket, or tell him to sleep in the spare room/sofa

captainoctopus · 25/12/2025 01:41

Get out of bed and climb in the other side. With any luck he will keep shuffling forward towards where you were and fall out of bed. Bonus if you leave a cold wet towel on the floor your side of the bed, or maybe a whoopee cushion.

Katemax82 · 25/12/2025 01:12

Can you sleep in seperate rooms going forward?

Pres11 · 24/12/2025 22:52

I feel sad that you having a child with this excuse of a man

Hello39 · 24/12/2025 10:09

King-size is 5 foot wide, so that's only 2.5 foot each (a regular single is 3ft), I find a king size cramped even when I'm not pregnant. You have less room each than in a single.

Super king is a game changer.

AgnesX · 24/12/2025 10:06

ByDreamyLimeLurker · 24/12/2025 02:44

Im at the stage of side sleeping as bump is large, i confronted him the other day about lying on top of me and im met with "its not my fault i dont know im doing it in my sleep."

Show quote history

Absolute prat and completely selfish. Is he always like this as it doesn't bode well for the future if so.

greenwithglee · 24/12/2025 10:05

Just sending strength OP. He sounds like a right wee pig

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 24/12/2025 10:04

Unless he can start behaving like a decent adult man he needs to leave. Fuck that. Do NOT put up with that behaviour!

DonewhatIcando · 24/12/2025 09:56

@ByDreamyLimeLurker
My DD gave me her pregnancy pillow (once she'd given birth), U-shaped, approx 6ft long.
Its like sleeping in the arms of an angel!
Your H will probably pinch it though, he sounds completely selfish, wft disturbs his pregnant wife then reacts sarcastically, he's a knob

JudgeBread · 24/12/2025 09:56

You mentioned you have another child, is that one his too? If so, was he like this during your first pregnancy or is this a new development?

MyLimeGuide · 24/12/2025 09:48

I hope he grows up when the baby arrives!

Itsallabouttea · 24/12/2025 09:46

I'm a very light sleeper and dh often flails around in the night - because of this he regularly offers to go in the spare room and is always really apologetic if he's kept me up even though it's not his fault. This is how a decent, caring partner behaves. I know you're pregnant but I'd be seriously considering the relationship at this point