Page 10 | To have not lied to DS about trans actor in Last Christmas?

DungOnATwig · 2025-12-24T01:10:55+00:00

Watching above with DD17 (lesbian) and DS11 (straight) earlier today. One scene where a female presenting (long hair + fake eyelashes) but clearly biologically male actor plays a doctor (just Dr). DS says "that......lady sounds like a man". I said yeah it is a man love. A man who identifies as a sex they are not. DD paused then typed a wee bit more furiously than usual for 30 secs but then was ok. She knows tbf. She's lesbian and not pan. It was so distilled down to me at the point of his very innocent (and tentative so as not to offend question) that I am not prepared to lie to my kid about the fucking fundamentals of life and tell them that person is a woman. Fuck that. Merry Christmas 🍷 Also FUCK THAT FILM 😭😭😭😭😭

BahMinthumbug · 26/12/2025 14:00

Rebecca lived as a woman for two years, had bottom surgery (full sex change op) and had part of vocal chords removed. Old school transexual in other words. I would be more offended by Emma Thompson's appalling Croatian accent in that movie.

Alucard55 · 26/12/2025 13:38

KimberleyClark · 25/12/2025 23:49

Unless you have actually met every single transwoman on the the planet, I don’t know how you can categorically say that you can always tell.

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There's a lot of biological men who identify as not men in the media and it's very obvious these people are not women.

There was a discussion on here a while ago about human beings noticing when things are off. Nothing to do with being transphobic or biogated just that on an unconscious level the brain picks up on things that are not quite right. Someone pointed out that this may be due to evolution and survival. So seeing a biological man presenting in a way that emulates the female sex can be quite jarring.

Just to add that there are some biological men who identify as not men who have had a lot of surgeries (Monroe Bergdorf) and they don't look like women they just look very bizarre.

ThatBlackCat · 26/12/2025 13:09

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 09:09

I've never seen women changing in the public area of women's toilets, or washing their clothes or undressed for any other reasons. I think this is one of those great MN myths.

Generally unisex toilets have a basin in the cubicle, so if women really want to undress and wash things they can do so in private.

How many people really scrutinise the other women using the toilets? I strongly suspect the reality is that we have all encountered trans women there and haven't even noticed. I'm with Mrs SW, it doesn't bother me.

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Well I have, and I've done it, so I know it is real and happens.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 26/12/2025 12:41

JellySaurus · 26/12/2025 12:39

This never happens.

It does happen. It happened to me.

Aww you want a clap.

Are you deliberately missing the point?

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Must be, because I literally have no idea what you’re trying to say. Sorry about that.

JellySaurus · 26/12/2025 12:39

whatcanthematterbe81 · 26/12/2025 11:43

ah you want a clap. Here you go 👏

This never happens.

It does happen. It happened to me.

Aww you want a clap.

Are you deliberately missing the point?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 26/12/2025 12:37

PlanetJanette · 26/12/2025 12:28

It’s part of a bizarre red herring among the transphobes here that apparently those who support trans rights claim you can never tell.

Of course that’s nonsense because literally no one makes that claim.

The whole question of passing, discourse around passing privilege etc is widespread among trans people and to a lesser extent those who support them. No one is under any illusion that every trans person ‘passes’ and many do not seek to.

Of course ‘you can always tell’ is as ridiculous as ‘you can never tell’. But only the former is actually a claim routinely made.

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Well obviously, because all a “trans woman” is required to do, as a male, is declare themselves to be a woman. They don’t have to present as female in any way. So someone would have to be pretty unhinged to claim that no one can “ever tell” and I’ve certainly never seen that claim made, so it seems to me that it’s your straw man that GC feminists claim it is.

PlanetJanette · 26/12/2025 12:28

Kimura · 26/12/2025 07:09

I remember the first time I watched this I clocked the actor was trans and a quick Google proved me correct.

Why did you need to Google to confirm it if you were so sure?

Yes, you can always tell. Always.

You can't, without Google to reassure you, apparently. Anyone who says they can 'always' tell is a liar.

I don't understand the obsession with being able to 'tell'. Bizarre.

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It’s part of a bizarre red herring among the transphobes here that apparently those who support trans rights claim you can never tell.

Of course that’s nonsense because literally no one makes that claim.

The whole question of passing, discourse around passing privilege etc is widespread among trans people and to a lesser extent those who support them. No one is under any illusion that every trans person ‘passes’ and many do not seek to.

Of course ‘you can always tell’ is as ridiculous as ‘you can never tell’. But only the former is actually a claim routinely made.

TooMuchStop · 26/12/2025 12:04

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 09:09

I've never seen women changing in the public area of women's toilets, or washing their clothes or undressed for any other reasons. I think this is one of those great MN myths.

Generally unisex toilets have a basin in the cubicle, so if women really want to undress and wash things they can do so in private.

How many people really scrutinise the other women using the toilets? I strongly suspect the reality is that we have all encountered trans women there and haven't even noticed. I'm with Mrs SW, it doesn't bother me.

Show quote history

I’ve changed when I’ve been breastfeeding and have a top covered in milk or when my baby has been sick all over me. It would have been impossible to do that in a cubicle with my baby.

Other times when I’ve been very relieved that there is a women’s toilet is in nightclubs. So many times that creepy men haven’t taken no for an answer and I’ve escaped to the toilets, got away from the man and been helped by other women.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 26/12/2025 11:43

ah you want a clap. Here you go 👏

JellySaurus · 26/12/2025 10:20

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 09:09

I've never seen women changing in the public area of women's toilets, or washing their clothes or undressed for any other reasons. I think this is one of those great MN myths.

Generally unisex toilets have a basin in the cubicle, so if women really want to undress and wash things they can do so in private.

How many people really scrutinise the other women using the toilets? I strongly suspect the reality is that we have all encountered trans women there and haven't even noticed. I'm with Mrs SW, it doesn't bother me.

Show quote history

I helped a woman whose baby had had a poonami while she was breastfeeding him. She was trying to change the baby’s clothes while she herself had poo on her top. I helped her, then held her baby while she took her top off and washed it. Then she held her baby while I dried her top. She had no more clean muslins to cover up with. She stood in her bra until her shirt was dry.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 26/12/2025 09:59

Kimura · 26/12/2025 07:09

I remember the first time I watched this I clocked the actor was trans and a quick Google proved me correct.

Why did you need to Google to confirm it if you were so sure?

Yes, you can always tell. Always.

You can't, without Google to reassure you, apparently. Anyone who says they can 'always' tell is a liar.

I don't understand the obsession with being able to 'tell'. Bizarre.

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It's odd how clearly you want to minimise this redefinition of womanhood.

The reason why "we can always tell" has becone significant is that far too many people seem to believe that if a woman can be deceived by a man playacting womanhood then she has no right to complain it happened because "it doesn't affect you".

It is bizarre, but there you go. Misogyny and the assumption that women's self determination must be secondary to men's requirements of us run very deep in our society.

drspouse · 26/12/2025 09:56

When I was pre-menopause and used a mooncup, I had no other way to wash it if necessary during the working day.
And changing in the women's loos before/after commuting by bike is pretty much the only option in some workplaces. I did this in one job where I shared an office, same for lunchtime yoga.

GoodQueenWenceslaus · 26/12/2025 09:09

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 23:53

Well you are in the extreme minority. The vast overwhelming majority of women would feel frightened and uncomfortable, and don't want unisex toilets as the risk to us is increased. Women flee to the ladies to escape a man. We cry. Seek help. We miscarry there. We change out at the sinks to go clubbing. We wash blood-stained underwear at the sink, and baby sick off our blouses. We are in a semi state of dress. We don't want MALES there, most people know and understand this.

Edited

Show quote history

I've never seen women changing in the public area of women's toilets, or washing their clothes or undressed for any other reasons. I think this is one of those great MN myths.

Generally unisex toilets have a basin in the cubicle, so if women really want to undress and wash things they can do so in private.

How many people really scrutinise the other women using the toilets? I strongly suspect the reality is that we have all encountered trans women there and haven't even noticed. I'm with Mrs SW, it doesn't bother me.

Kimura · 26/12/2025 07:09

MarvellousMonsters · 25/12/2025 23:24

“It's interesting though, you get the ‘you can't even tell who is trans’ people who insist that you could never tell the difference between a trans identified man and a woman, yet I remember the first time I watched this I clocked the actor was trans and a quick Google proved me correct.

Rebecca Root also voices Madame Pomfrey in the new cast version of the Harry Potter audio books*. It took about 5 seconds of me hearing the voice, to then think "I wonder if this person is trans" to then googling and again being proved correct.
Just proof the ‘you can never tell’ crowd are talking rubbish “

Yes, you can always tell. Always. I honestly don’t know how some people can’t. I watched a true crime documentary recently about the disappearance of a young woman, as soon as they showed ‘her’ photo I knew it was actually a man, yet it was another 20 minutes into the programme before the police ‘discovered’ she was actually a he, like a big shock-reveal. My eyes were rolling so hard I could see yesterday.

*and I thought Harry Potter was cancelled in the trans affirming world…

Show quote history

I remember the first time I watched this I clocked the actor was trans and a quick Google proved me correct.

Why did you need to Google to confirm it if you were so sure?

Yes, you can always tell. Always.

You can't, without Google to reassure you, apparently. Anyone who says they can 'always' tell is a liar.

I don't understand the obsession with being able to 'tell'. Bizarre.

Kimura · 26/12/2025 06:39

JellySaurus · 25/12/2025 21:09

Acting is a performance. At the end, the audience applaud if they approve of the performance. Or they remain silent, or boo, if they disapprove of the performance. When the audience boos the villain the actor doesn’t take it personally because it is about the character he is portraying, not himself as a person. After the performance the actor reverts to his normal self.

A man living ‘as a woman’ is a performance. The difference being that the audience are expected to applaud the performance, and to treat it as reality. If they disapprove of the performance it is taken as a personal attack upon the performer. They are certainly not allowed to express their disapproval. If they don’t want to join in with the performance it is also taken as a personal attack.

This actor expects us to see him as a woman both on and off stage. Acting invites the audience to suspend their disbelief. Trans demands that we believe.

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It's odd - I've found myself able to express all manner of views about trans people (I don't believe a man can 'become' a woman, for example), yet I've never been accused of making personal attacks.

I don't take a trans person simply existing (or acting in a movie in this case) as an invitation to rant about how safe they may or may not be in bathrooms, or how well they 'pass', or assume that they must have certain beliefs or expectations around how they should be treated, either as an individual or a group.

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/12/2025 00:53

JellySaurus · 26/12/2025 00:18

That’s fine for you. You can consent for yourself. You cannot consent for other women.

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Of course,.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 26/12/2025 00:18

TooMuchStop · 26/12/2025 00:11

Turkeys voting for Xmas springs to mind.

I actually had a woman tell me that she’d rather be in a toilet with a trans woman/man, than a woman who was a feminist, especially a ‘TERF’. Apparently they’d feel safer around trans women/men. Madness. When you’re dealing with that sort of mentality, I despair. Thankfully, most women and men seem to get it.

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It’s nauseating fawning.

JellySaurus · 26/12/2025 00:18

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/12/2025 22:52

Sorry, your quote didn’t appear.

No. It wouldn’t/doesnt. We’ve ravelled for years and unisex loos are very common. It’s never troubled me.

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That’s fine for you. You can consent for yourself. You cannot consent for other women.

TooMuchStop · 26/12/2025 00:11

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/12/2025 22:52

Sorry, your quote didn’t appear.

No. It wouldn’t/doesnt. We’ve ravelled for years and unisex loos are very common. It’s never troubled me.

Show quote history

Turkeys voting for Xmas springs to mind.

I actually had a woman tell me that she’d rather be in a toilet with a trans woman/man, than a woman who was a feminist, especially a ‘TERF’. Apparently they’d feel safer around trans women/men. Madness. When you’re dealing with that sort of mentality, I despair. Thankfully, most women and men seem to get it.

lifeinthelastlane · 25/12/2025 23:57

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 23:53

Well you are in the extreme minority. The vast overwhelming majority of women would feel frightened and uncomfortable, and don't want unisex toilets as the risk to us is increased. Women flee to the ladies to escape a man. We cry. Seek help. We miscarry there. We change out at the sinks to go clubbing. We wash blood-stained underwear at the sink, and baby sick off our blouses. We are in a semi state of dress. We don't want MALES there, most people know and understand this.

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I don't think unisex loos are the same anyway.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 23:56

Wow. Imagine using a serious moment in a speech to 'prove' anything. Beyond desperate.

And you talk of 'normal' but Gender Ideology is absolutely not normal at all. Feminists really make you feel threatened don't they.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/12/2025 23:54

I think there are a vanishingly small number of men who could pass for women IRL (rather than in an easily filtered still picture). They do exist, but most of these men don’t, including Rebecca Root.

ThatBlackCat · 25/12/2025 23:53

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/12/2025 22:52

Sorry, your quote didn’t appear.

No. It wouldn’t/doesnt. We’ve ravelled for years and unisex loos are very common. It’s never troubled me.

Show quote history

Well you are in the extreme minority. The vast overwhelming majority of women would feel frightened and uncomfortable, and don't want unisex toilets as the risk to us is increased. Women flee to the ladies to escape a man. We cry. Seek help. We miscarry there. We change out at the sinks to go clubbing. We wash blood-stained underwear at the sink, and baby sick off our blouses. We are in a semi state of dress. We don't want MALES there, most people know and understand this.

lifeinthelastlane · 25/12/2025 23:53

I forgot for a moment that women's role was to smile and look pretty for men at all times

KimberleyClark · 25/12/2025 23:49

MarvellousMonsters · 25/12/2025 23:24

“It's interesting though, you get the ‘you can't even tell who is trans’ people who insist that you could never tell the difference between a trans identified man and a woman, yet I remember the first time I watched this I clocked the actor was trans and a quick Google proved me correct.

Rebecca Root also voices Madame Pomfrey in the new cast version of the Harry Potter audio books*. It took about 5 seconds of me hearing the voice, to then think "I wonder if this person is trans" to then googling and again being proved correct.
Just proof the ‘you can never tell’ crowd are talking rubbish “

Yes, you can always tell. Always. I honestly don’t know how some people can’t. I watched a true crime documentary recently about the disappearance of a young woman, as soon as they showed ‘her’ photo I knew it was actually a man, yet it was another 20 minutes into the programme before the police ‘discovered’ she was actually a he, like a big shock-reveal. My eyes were rolling so hard I could see yesterday.

*and I thought Harry Potter was cancelled in the trans affirming world…

Show quote history

Unless you have actually met every single transwoman on the the planet, I don’t know how you can categorically say that you can always tell.