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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to let DD vape?

156 replies

CoastAndSand · 23/12/2025 23:06

DD (16) wants to vape in her room. We have tried everything for 2 years to get her to stop vaping and she won’t so the rule so far has been no vaping in the house or garden.

DD has asked recently if she can vape in her room. DH thinks it’s fine as long as she has her window open but I don’t agree with him. AIBU? I’m not happy with DD vaping at all, let alone inside the house! What would you do?

OP posts:
Parker231 · 24/12/2025 12:54

themerchentofvenus · 24/12/2025 12:18

If I caught my 15 year old with a vape he would have his phone and computer taken off him.

I would be working out where she is buying them from. Search her wallet for fake ID!

Your house, your rules. Action and consequence.

Agree - no money, no phone access and a lengthy grounding

fashionqueen0123 · 24/12/2025 12:22

themerchentofvenus · 24/12/2025 12:18

If I caught my 15 year old with a vape he would have his phone and computer taken off him.

I would be working out where she is buying them from. Search her wallet for fake ID!

Your house, your rules. Action and consequence.

Exactly! This is ridiculous.

themerchentofvenus · 24/12/2025 12:18

If I caught my 15 year old with a vape he would have his phone and computer taken off him.

I would be working out where she is buying them from. Search her wallet for fake ID!

Your house, your rules. Action and consequence.

MarshaMarshaMarsha · 24/12/2025 12:13

youalright · 24/12/2025 11:58

But shes 16 and already been doing it for 2 years if that's the worst my 16 year old did I'd high five myself for a job well done

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And this attitude to bringing up children is one massive reason why our future is looking so bleak. No hope.

youalright · 24/12/2025 12:07

2DemisSVP · 24/12/2025 12:05

Yep but problem is not all teens are buying those vapes. Often they’re buying illegal ones via snap chat.

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Exactly so let them do it safely and not illegally behind parents back. This is like parents who refuse to buy condoms or put there daughters on birth control. Teenagers will experiment its a parents job to make sure they do it safely

2DemisSVP · 24/12/2025 12:05

youalright · 24/12/2025 11:57

What latest English research on legal vapes is this they are very strongly regulated in this country

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Yep but problem is not all teens are buying those vapes. Often they’re buying illegal ones via snap chat.

youalright · 24/12/2025 12:05

Crochetandtea · 24/12/2025 12:01

Such low standards!

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No realistic standard

2DemisSVP · 24/12/2025 12:03

LottieMary · 24/12/2025 10:39

https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/up-to-1-in-4-vapes-confiscated-in-schools-contains-spice-and-these-are-pushed-on-social-media/

Was just about to post this , it’s really interesting. No wonder kids are sneaking off to toilets in schools to vape. It’s an absolute scandal that this industry is allowed.

Christmastimes · 24/12/2025 12:01

We no longer have 16 y o dss stay overnights as he was vaping (and on occasion smoking) in his room. Also leaving cigarette packs/vapes lighters everywhere so we said enough is enough to protect younger dc (one has asthma too) and he now only comes here in daytimes and has no room here to take advantage of

Crochetandtea · 24/12/2025 12:01

youalright · 24/12/2025 11:58

But shes 16 and already been doing it for 2 years if that's the worst my 16 year old did I'd high five myself for a job well done

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Such low standards!

Crochetandtea · 24/12/2025 12:00

Your husband is saying it’s fine because he’s weak and doesn’t want to have to parent a difficult teen. Parenting isn’t easy. He’s opting out of the hard stuff.

youalright · 24/12/2025 11:58

Jc2001 · 24/12/2025 07:23

But it's bad for your health and allowing the DD to vape in her room would be tacitly encouraging her bad habit.

Edited
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But shes 16 and already been doing it for 2 years if that's the worst my 16 year old did I'd high five myself for a job well done

Crochetandtea · 24/12/2025 11:57

Also get her help to quit? Patches?

youalright · 24/12/2025 11:57

SunnyViper · 24/12/2025 10:40

So you would allow your daughter to significantly damage her health? Read the latest research on vaping and see if you feel the same.

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What latest English research on legal vapes is this they are very strongly regulated in this country

Crochetandtea · 24/12/2025 11:56

I’d bin the vapes and I’d stop any pocket money. Then I’d try to find out which shops sold they to underage children and report them.

Purplerubberducky · 24/12/2025 11:54

So because adults use a less harmful and addictive substance, they should allow their children to use harmful and addictive substances. In the house ? (Or at all)

I don’t understand the logic.

User8008135 · 24/12/2025 11:29

No to the house. Believe me as a teenage smoker, having to get up go out and smoke outside meant I did it a lot less. I often smoked (and vaped) out of boredom so she will 100% vape more if allowed in her room.

The 'she will do it anyway' applies to sex and alcohol because you could argue that they will do it anyway so best to be somewhere safe when they do. That doesn't work with smoking or vaping.

Flutterbees · 24/12/2025 11:23

Big no to vaping anywhere at home. Allowing it ti happen normalises it, and there’s nothing normal or healthy about vaping.

Tessasanderson · 24/12/2025 11:16

I wouldnt even let a vape in the house. No chance and it would be a deal breaker for anyone including family. Disgusting.

AutumnClouds · 24/12/2025 11:09

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 24/12/2025 10:55

Amen! Have just said the same above - the hypocrisy is so engrained in drinking it is unreal.

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Drinking at Christmas or letting a teenager hole up in their room with booze everyday? Because the first is no real analogy for facilitating a daily habit.

BackToLurk · 24/12/2025 11:03

She’s 16. You’re allowed to say no.

Original poster
CoastAndSand · 24/12/2025 11:01

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 24/12/2025 10:59

I’d agree to the garden but not in the house…

At the moment she’s not allowed to vape in the garden either.

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 24/12/2025 10:59

I’d agree to the garden but not in the house…

BackToLurk · 24/12/2025 10:58

I wouldn’t. It’s incredibly bad for her health so I wouldn’t encourage it. I wouldn’t let her down a bottle of vodka in her room either (specially for the “oooo but you’re having a drink” brigade)

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 24/12/2025 10:55

ocool · 24/12/2025 10:47

If all of the objectors to her vaping in the house plan to be completely teetotal all over Christmas and New Year then fine. If not, its total hypocrisy.

Amen! Have just said the same above - the hypocrisy is so engrained in drinking it is unreal.

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