To spend a few hundred quid on a sleep consultant?

My health visitor gave us free sleep advice. Basically sleep training is based around not rewarding a child for waking up.

We followed the advice and within a week our toddler stopped waking us up. It was amazing.

Best thing we EVER did. Worth its weight in gold. Had benefits for years afterwards. If DH against he needs to instigate and implement a different plan and it needs to work. I'd go on strike if I were you. This is not normal. You should not have to be coping with this. But more than that neither should your DC - you'd be doing it for them, not just yourselves.

Will she sleep once she gets into bed with you?

My daughter was 15mo before she slept through, I was at my wits end and dying of exhaustion. I’d spent ages reading up on sleep consultants, but in the end I actually ended up using ChatGPT instead. One (long) night was all it took. Sounds a bit ridiculous but it came up with a plan based on everything I told it, and literally gave me minute by minute guidance on getting through the first night of changes.

She’s now 19mo and apart from the odd restless night through teething has been amazing. It used to take 90 mins for her to fall asleep, she’ll now settle herself with a kiss goodnight and cuddling her toys, and she’ll sleep through the night. She’s much happier by day, her naps are more consistent and as her parents we are no longer on the brink of delirium. So glad I didn’t fork out £££ for a sleep consultant.

I can’t remember exactly I’m afraid but it involved removing all “sleep aids” (possibly except for one Teddy or something?). Definitely not cry it out but gradually reducing the support offered to help her fall asleep. I think we had to choose one phrase and if we went in to show her we were still there, we had to lie her down and say that one word only.

Yes, one horrible night then amazing ever since. He’s now five and sleeping just isn’t an issue at all.

Cry it out. Took 3 nights.

Having had one child who was poorly with a medical condition who slept on me and with me, co-sleeping does not often mean everyone actually gets a good nights sleep. If said child ended up in our bed, Dh would go and sleep in their single bed and we have a super king bed! I was left with "the limpet" a child who wanted to sleep against my body.

The difference was I was a sahm so it was very different to Dh driving to work, doing a highly stressful job and driving home. Dh needed that sleep. I was just doing school runs for my eldest incredibly tired. Once my youngest was 3 and in preschool I could actually go back to bed.

I would say absolutely pay for a sleep consultant especially at this age before they can get out of the cot. Once you put them in a bed it is far easier for them to get out of bed every night.

As for it being a modern western thing, babies need sleep, the adults caring for them usually have full time jobs and they really need their sleep. Broken sleep for years is massively detrimental.

Ds was like this and he was 18 months when I paid for a sleep consultant.

Co sleeping is fine in theory. I think a lot of MNetters envision a child sleeping peacefully between his parents, or with one parent. with ds, he’d thrash around the bed endlessly, kicking me repeatedly, he’d somehow take over the entire bed so I was hanging on the end, he’d still wake over and over and I got no sleep and worse in a way, no space.

I love my children so much, I really do … but I am with them ALL of the time, I just want a few hours without them at night! 😂

So - YANBU!

Loads of people told me to "just co-sleep" at if it's some miracle of nature. Did not work at all. Baby didn't sleep any more than before. Parents slept less. My daughter is 11 now, she still has periods of poor sleep, I think it's just the way she's made. My mum and sister are similar, unfortunately I need a solid 8-9hrs!! Without the sleep consultants advice I really don't know how I'd have got through.

100% worth it it changed our lives when my daughter was 14 months and had never slept through! She’s 2 now and always sleeps 12 hours

I mean within a month of following the advice my baby was sleeping through the night (and was down to 1 wake up a night after 3 nights), and in his own room. We didn’t have to buy anything new.

prior to that, bedtime was sometimes taking 3-5 hours, and he was waking up multiple times sometimes for 2 hours at a time. And I did cosleep part of the night! I think that does need fixing, personally.

It’s a con because it’s saying that sleep is a problem that needs to be fixed. It’s in the interests of the ‘baby sleep’ industry to get babies in their own rooms as soon as possible. It’s also in their interests to get parents to think babies should be sleeping through the night. It’s such a recent, western phenomenon that goes entirely against what mammals are supposed to do, and, indeed, what the majority rest of the world do. It’s putting pressure on parents to do things that aren’t really what we’re supposed to do, and when the baby isn’t responding to it - just pay £300 for some advice. Oh and buy this monitor. And this cot. And this heartbeat toy. And this white noise machine. Oh and this sleep sack.

I’m tight but I love my sleep so I’d definitely pay it if it helped 🤣

Genuinely interested in your reasons for thinking it’s a con?
In my eyes, a sleep consultant is like a mentor. More often than not, parents that use sleep consultants are exhausted and genuinely just want someone that they can trust to guide and support them. Sleep training also doesn’t mean you can no longer co-sleep. It just means allowing them to get their little one to sleep in a way that works for their family - this might mean co-sleeping!

This. Co-sleep, and get your sleep back.

The sleep ‘training’ industry is a massive con - capitalism at its worst (and I’m generally a fan of capitalism!).

I agree which is why a happy stable marriage and home is paramount.

I used a Sleep Consultant she was AMAZING!!

She has a Facebook Page called “Child Sleep Solutions” and her name is Nicola. It cost me £90 (for the basic package which is all she thought I required after our initial consultation) and she saved my sanity and my marriage!! I messaged her to enquire about her services, she got back to me the same day and it all lead on from there.

I would highly recommend her!

What actually is a sleep consultant?

what do they know that Google doesn’t?

does one need qualifications to become a sleep consultant?

Are you both willing to follow the advice given? If not don’t waste your money

Do it. We did at 7 months as I was going mad with sleep deprivation and couldn’t cope with PND. Best £300 I ever spent and it worked in three nights. There are plenty of gentle methods to use. (Never just leave them to cry).

Just buy Gina Ford book - it’s just a case of following a routine & a sleep consultant won’t really tell you anything different. We did from day one so they never really cried but perhaps it’s harder to bring in once they’re older.

https://amzn.eu/d/5Jv49DO

Go for the consultant I'd say. I have recently taken on a declutterer and it's changed my life. You would think I could just sort my stuff into piles and get rid of it. Except I just can't do it on my own. Having someone come in to my home to support me has been a game changer. It might be just what you need, too.

I spent £200 on one and it was the best money I ever spent. We had ONE bad night of sleep training then he got it and has slept well since. We’ve had setbacks, but each time we just go back to basics with the sleep training and within a few nights he’s sleeping well again.

I did a lot of reading online. Problem was I read a lot of conflicting advice. Awake for 3 hours at bed time? Could be under tired, in which case, make the last nap shorter and earlier. Or, he could be overtired. In which case case make the last nap longer and later. Argh!!! How do I know which??

the one I used had me fill in a lengthy questionnaire and then asked follow up questions and was actually able to tell based on his behaviour and age/developmental stage what the likely issue was and what would probably work best. I found that worked a lot better than th guesswork I’d done from reading online.

£200 felt like a lot. Then, one night after I’d been sat in his room for an hour at 3am and he was still awake, I thought, I’d pay £200 just to be able to go to bed right now. Maybe I’ll pay it and it will fix the issue for more than one night? And it did.