To feel like I don’t like men anymore

This is very very key to why I’m no longer interested in men!

I'm not originally from here (Nordic country). Moving here in my 30s was like moving back to the 60s in my country in terms of workload distribution between the sexes. I remember my first British boyfriend somehow expecting me to write Xmas cards and organise presents for his family. I never realised that was somehow my job and dismissed him completely and told him to sort out his own crap himself, like a normal adult. He was one of the good ones though, did more than his share of housework drudge so I could focus on my career.

He set a high standard though, as since we broke up (my choice ) I've encountered nothing but disappointment on legs. Two hobosexuals, one of whom had moved back in with his parents when he was 55 'temporarily' and who could not wait to move in with me (nope!).

I want an equal, take care of yourself, good job (can make less than me, not working in finance ideally), own house, kids out of the house, emotionally mature, kind, empathy, capacity to maintain friends, secure attachment style. I have actually met a few men like this (except I was not attracted to them sadly) so they do exist but they are not too keen on attaching themselves again either, ironically.

I think there is just a layer of emotionally unavailable, needy people out there who cannot find a partner and they are the ones disappointing everyone. The reason why we heterosexual women think it is men who are disappointing is because they are the people we try to meet, so we only see the disappointing men, and not the disappointing women.

As for the men on this thread instead of telling us that we are somehow wrong or men's behaviour is somehow our fault, why don't you instead share your experiences with disappointing women so we can get some glimpses into your experience? It is not useful to keep making spurious points about car tires as that details that thread and can hinder open communication. Perhaps recognise we have a right to discuss however we want as long as we break no laws and be a bit more respectful?

I know two men who are doing a great job bringing up their children since their wives died.
It's easy to generalise.

This is a perfect example of what this thread is about. So many women have this internalised misogyny. Would you congratulate a woman for bringing up her own children?

Are they meant to be congratulated for raising their traumatised children? Good grief.

How many men can change a tyre?

What’s your point though? I’ve never changed a tyre - I’ve never had to bc in 25 years of driving I’ve never had a flat. Most men haven’t either - my dh called the AA when he had a flat bc he didn’t have a jack or a spare and he’d never changed one either so all round it’s easier to call someone.

Again, what’s your point?

Wow. I can’t believe you actually wrote that.

You think women are more likely to abuse children than men? And watch more violent porn?

Do you believe everything you read? So thick.

Exactly. You can peruse Reddit and see far worse sans loads of men coming to women’s defence the way they do here

There would be none. Not on a men’s site.

Men don’t feel the need to carry women’s water for them the way so many women love to come
to men’s defence online.
The reason for that difference could be a whole separate thread in itself.

Yes wanting a clean household and food to eat is “highly strung.”

Err she literally talks about it comparing the men she knows to the women they are in relationships with.

This is stupid.

Women perpetuate the majority on child abuse only when you don’t control for proximity.

When you do, men are far more dangerous to children than women are.

(And that’s only considering physical abuse, when you consider neglect, the most common type of abuse - men commit that more frequently.)

The claim that some types of violent porn are more sought by women is made by pornhub which the authors of your own link acknowledge cannot be verified.

We can't change the way we feel. But I hope all the mothers with sons who feel like this aren't giving their boys issues. To say that you don't like men to a young man would be bound to cause them harm in the long term.

In my life, some people have been great, but apart from the good ones, the men and women have been as bad as each other.

That comment was meant to be for @UniquePinkSwan

They probably have @CrazyGoatLady on one of their own sites. And a damn sight worse.

Women do not pose a risk to men in the same way men do to women.

This thread is appalling. Could you imagine the uproar if men started a post like his.

The obsession with changing tyres! Just a derail of the thread. This is an interesting thread, apart from that fixated poster.

Apologies if this has already been posted - I don't have time to read the whole thread. I agree though - I'm in my 50s and I feel like the scales have fallen from my eyes. I quite like my DH though!

YANBU. I’ve been single (with kids) for 9 years now and haven’t found a new man worth having a relationship with. I went through a phase of dating and had a bit of fun but more recently (I’m 45) I can’t be bothered.

I try really hard not to have this outlook but men make it difficult. I think men of my generation just haven’t been expected to play the role of an equal partner. I really notice that single men I’ve met/dated tend to live with their parents (this has come up a lot!) and/or live quite chaotically or messily. I had a date with a 50-something recently (after not dating virtually all year) - he is basically unemployed, living in his mums home and not doing very much. I have 2 dcs who live with me over 90 per cent of the time, 2 jobs, I keep fit and have a healthy lifestyle… he was fairly charming but my brain was thinking ‘this guy isn’t really a match for you.’ There wasn’t much we could really talk about. I’ve found this repeatedly. I don’t think I want to spend the rare nights my dc see their dad on a mediocre date when I could be pursuing my hobbies or health / fitness or seeing female friends.

My ex-DH got jealous of the attention he lost when our dc were small and left for a younger woman in the office - horrendous at the time but I’m much happier without him. My dad is spending his retirement sinking into alcoholism and my mum constantly rings me to moan about it. Married friends often seem like ‘married single mothers’. I think I’ll stay single but I’m trying hard to raise my son to be different from his dad!

Please send me all of your money now, cos I can change a tyre (haven’t had to do it for a number of years mind).

It seems a strange hill to die on, your obsession with changing tyres. It doesn’t really bring much to the discussion. I mean, I wouldn’t dismiss a bloke if they didn’t know how to change a tyre. There are enough reasons to find them lacking (as shown on this thread) that tyre changing is way down on the list!

I know the well known quote that mens biggest fear is that women will laugh at them. As time moves on, I think their biggest fear is that women don’t “need” them. And I’m not talking about their ability to build things, invent things, etc. They are becoming frightened that women don’t need them in the sense of being in a relationship. And it’s frightening the fuck out of them.

I think it’s a natural thing. Women grow older, their children grow up and they become less interested in having sex with men so no longer care to be seen as desirable by them and stop participating in the game at which point they realise how much precious life was wasted on this stuff.