To feel like I don’t like men anymore

Yes! And not just in 'real life'. From my mid-40s I'm way more genuinely excited about music/books/films by women. Men are just... less interesting. I'm still straight but that part of my brain gets much less airtime now. Although for some reason I still have a lingering crush on Trent from Daria. Who is useless and probably smelly.

My understanding the selfishness and the suicide thing go kinda hand in hand. Apparently more women than men attempt it, but use the ‘not definitely going to happen’ methods because they are too aware of who depends on them. Men have a higher ‘success’ rate and thus the numbers are higher.

I feel the same. I’m early 40s. I think the bar is just set very low for men and now women have more rights, more earning power, men just don’t add anything to their lives. My DH is a decent man but I can’t say I’m fussed by men at all. I think they’ve got away with being mediocre for far too long. I’m also sick of the violence that men bring. I find it so frustrating and disgusting how women are having to adjust their lives because of the violence or threat of violence from men. I know there’s decent men and crap
Women but on the whole, it feels like there’s many more crap men.

I agree to an extent but I do, more often than not, find male company more enjoyable, just easier and more relaxed, with a tendency towards more varied topics. I’ve noticed this more as I’ve got older and less attractive, it’s not a “pick me” thing. In multi female interactions I still feel there’s some sort of a code that I’m missing out on? Anyone else?

My OH and DF are fantastic and always did most their fair share of cooking and housework.

I feel like this at 28 if that helps, have for a few years. Do you use social media? I think it's because we see more about the horrific parts of men.

Same

Im on OLD apps. Ive never seen such a bunch of pathetic specimens.

YANBU. I’m fast approaching 40 and have realised men need a women to provide their basic needs. They have always had a woman (their mum and then their partner/wife) to pander to them. Women are far more self sufficient, independent and resilient. Women don’t need a man to survive. I’d happily care for myself and my children if my hubby moved out. He wouldn’t move out because he knows he couldn’t fend for himself. It isn’t a choice he’d make, unless he found another woman to provide his basic needs. I might make the decision for him though if he doesn’t buck his ideas up.

And nope I won’t be having his mum visit at 6am on Christmas Day or outstay her welcome. I have no problem with her calling in to see her grandchildren for an hour or so but if hubby wants his mother to stay then he can entertain her. I don’t have a problem with MIL. But, ultimately, she's not my problem. I agree times/dates/visits/outings with my mum. Which suit both of us. I don’t expect hubby to drop everything to entertain my mum. Hubby is welcome to arrange visits with members of his family at a time that suits him. Count me out.

Disagree

Women and men are bothered by different things

I find the women who insist women are better and men are all shit are often not women I want to be around

(And I say that as someone who thinks women probably are objectively better on the whole)

My DH and sil are a good example of people being individuals also. She's highly strung and has genuine npd. He's thoughtful and gentle and sensitive.

I think there's something with gender roles. Men are emasculated. We don't need them for money or strength or basic logistical care like we once did. So what are they good for now? Not emotional support or conversation. They're lost.

I would love a masculine man - a gentleman who could look after me through care and small gestures, who could make a plan, make decisions. They are incapable. Maybe they never did this before? Women have always made the plans and decisions - the emotional labour. But now we have jobs and lives and are educated too. So what are men for now?

I feel the same. Early 40s. Married.

Exactly this. We’re lucky to have some decent husbands and fathers in our social circle, but our single friend (whose knobhead of an ex husband was ditched by all of us, the guys included) feels this acutely, although she maintains a positive, upbeat demeanour. The pickings out there are slim.

Interesting. I’m 59 and feel much wiser/clear seeing about these things. In my thirties I was blinded by must-procreate hormones
x

Im bi and say this about men and women.

There is some good ones left but i cant find them.

Men are weak, I don't respect weak.

Not just a menopausal thing. Mid-late 30's and feel the same.

The older l get, the more l see it. I have one male friend who has actually said to me when he'd old he's going to move in with me so l can look after him! Jog on mate!

Same. I'm peri. The hormonal veil is lifting (the basic biological need to find a 'good enough' one to procreate with no longer exists) - whether or not one logically and rationally wants children, the chemical and hormonal and biological thing still factors, until it doesn't.

I see it in my friends too - finally realising their boring, dependent, useless husbands are crap... I foresee divorces incoming.

Feel a bit sad about it as I'd like to be loved and I'd love to love, but honestly it's just not worth it. They take FAR MORE than they give.

God yes. Mid 40s. Given up on them mostly!!

But that is pretty much the women being the strength and the bloke being the weakness.

One comment I often see on these threads is that the phrase “the Merry Widow” exists for a reason.

Aren’t single women supposed to be the happiest demographic and single men the most miserable? I also have been thinking a lot about the male suicide rate what with Moovember (?) and all the ads about men’s mental health on the tv. I honestly just think women are a lot more resilient and strong. We can be dealing with much, much worse problems than men and just get on with it bc we don’t want to let people down/worry about the people we’d leave behind and how upset they’d be.

My df commuted suicide when I was young and left my dm in a dire situation. Ive suffered with terrible MH issues myself and had suicidal thoughts but never went through with it bc of the thought of how it would affect my dc’s and dh.

I think men are a lot more selfish tbh.

I don’t mean to upset anyone by making these comments it’s just my observation. I know quite a few men who’ve committed suicide and zero women and it’s certainly not bc those men were facing worse issues/had worse lives.

I started coming to this conclusion at about 25. After a couple of relationships, where the blokes ended up being a bit useless, and having had a dad who wasn't very capable, I sort of started looking around at other blokes. And most of 'em fell into the same kind of quality/standard.

I do know some lovely, capable men. But as others have said, very much in the minority. Whereas most of the women I know are really capable and can handle a lot. Again, not all. I know a couple of flaky women. But I'd say for women 85% shit hot. Whereas for blokes, 85% a bit crap.

I don't know if it's biological though. I do wonder if they've just been allowed to be mediocre, living in a patriarchy, and never had to up their game.