To feel like I don’t like men anymore

Same .just turned 50. Most are selfish arrogant and self entitled. I’m not a man bashing
feminist, I just see them now for what they are. I know maybe 3 men who are genuinely good people. And I reallly hate the fact I totally doted on one for the majority of my adult life who I now see as a total and complete loser but fk me it took to 50 to actually see it. Oh well better late than never.

then you have very low standards.

The very sad thing is that some of us do and pre-puberty, can see that they are on a par with girls. I think it must be the hormones that kick in. The sex goggles.

There is a reason girls excel in education at 11, 16, 18.

Some of the posts on this thread are an incel’s wet dream.

In my opinion women change more (and more suddenly) than men. I know plenty of women in their 40s who suddenly revert to behaving like 16 year olds, and others who just become more world-weary. The things that used to matter aren’t a priority any more, and a paint by numbers relationship with the big car on the drive doesn’t matter anymore.

But I don’t think women are passengers in their own lives until they reach the menopause.

Am with you OP, so many impressive women and very few men of the same calibre

the most amazing dad ever is basically a bog standard everyday mum.

Hope you don’t have sons

But I remember this at school. I must have been about 14. Boys thinking they were shit hot for giving very mediocre feedback. And at uni, being so eager to speak up in tutorials, but again, nothing amazing to feedback.

I think it was always there but the procreation drive fooled us into thinking the majority were our equals.

I’m neither disgusted by nor scared of them, but you’re definitely onto something with the losing respect point. I think realising how driven by sex they are was a turning point. I just find it so pathetic.

I feel a bit sorry for them really, some of them are nice, funny people - not that I'd want to be married to them or anything.

Mid 40's and married, also on HRT.
Totally agree. If my husband leaves I will not be bothering with another man ever again. DH does what he can but just has no zest for life. I want to do stuff, go out and life and he's just so content doing nothing. Work and watching telly every night. He has no friends and I know quite a few men like this. On the other hand I know so many amazing, independent women who are strong and inspiring. Isn't there a statistic whereby women live longer single and men live longer when coupled up. Says it all!

Having survived DV, being drugged, raped, publically humiliated through my trauma and survived narcisstic abuse, I relate to your post. I am also in my 40s and men are on pause (menopause).

However, I am unfortunately still attracted to men and my sex drive is high. I watch & read romance series/novels quite a lot. I only pleasure myself now.

I still have a fantasy man in my head though, in no particular order:

Polite
Intelligent, well read, well spoken
Loyal and protective
Respectful, caring, compassionate
Witty
Affectionate
Pulls weight in household/family life
Cultured
Reserved
Well groomed
Handsome
Tall
Well built
Passionate - life, love, sex, career, nature, etc
Enjoys watching sport/the arts - minimum
Solvent
Sees women as equal - all people
Centre to left voter

Sadly, he doesn't exist 😂 (This is exactly a description of me) 🤣

Agree, a lot of women become AWFUL as they age. Selfish arseholes who badge it as peri empowerment or some crap.

I love my DH and he’s decent and kind but I definitely will not have another man in my life should he go before me. Why would I want to? What would it add to my life? I have an interesting life with a great career and friends and hobbies. Yes I may have to learn diy but god I will give it a go! But seriously men do frighten me sometimes, the violence, abuse, animal and child abuse and awful porn use makes me feel I don’t like many men. I have a dear friend who works in very sensitive social services (don’t know how else to explain her role) and what she sometimes reveals about male behaviour reinforces that I just want to keep away from men. Added to that they seem hopeless and need mothering I am done really.

I’ll be honest I feel irritated by the things men get to do/ say a lot, but I think as women we aren’t that great either!!! in my 40s and now know so many people who say it’s freeing they’re older so don’t give two shits etc, when actually they’ve just turned mean/ cruel/ unwilling to help others. I know a lot of people who seem to think all work colleagues can’t do their jobs and bitch about them and I’m like, really? All of them? Maybe I just don’t like people!!!!

I think my problem is that I am quite boring. So I find sitting in comfortable silence with the odd muttering about some news item quite relaxing now 😂

Me too. But what appears charming and endearing in a youth is much less so in a fifty something.

Same! I definitely wouldn’t marry or ever live with another man again were I to find myself without DH. I might use one or two for occasional sex but fucked if I’d live with a man again full time. No thank you.

There’s very few men I actually like.

It’s not surprising to me that (so far) 90% of the respondents to the question have said the OP is NOT being unreasonable.

I used to like the more too. I think they get more boring and increasingly selfish / grumpy as the testosterone drops

I feel the same (and so does my DD). I honestly think men are rapidly getting worse and the already small pool of decent men is rapidly shrinking.

This doesn’t bode well for the future and, sadly, I’m realising that I may now be single to the end of my life.

I feel the same… a lot of my friends’ husbands are fun, but not great partners day to day ( based on what my friends say) , the wives end up doing a large share of what should be joint tasks… I can count on half of one hand how many of these husbands are pulling their weight

I’m nearly 60 and I’ve got absolutely zero interest in men now. If ‘something happened’ to my husband I would not have another relationship.

I know of several women of my age who are divorced or widowed - beautiful, clever, fun, solvent, together - and they have lovely network and do stuff together outside time with their own families, eg Sunday lunches and trips. Absolutely clear that they’re not ever getting involved again with another man.