To feel like I don’t like men anymore

Agreed. I think that there is a realisation as you get older that so many men still don't see women as human beings and are unable and uninterested in really connected with them beyond looking for sex and an unpaid maid and cook.

I also believe that social media influences like Andrew Tate and online porn have made matters worse.

Also since #MeToo and Gisele Pelicot so many famous and regular men have been exposed as abusers. It makes you realise how many men truly hate women.

I have had really bad experience with men and want nothing to do with them. I am much happier for it as a middle aged woman.

Im 45 and yet to have met a decent guy. The selfish thing is the main problem IME

I think these posts are the very opposite of an “incel’s wet dream”.

Incels hate women because they cannot get the specific ones they feel entitled to.

I don’t see that happening here.

YANBU. I'm in my 40s now too and wish I could give my naive 20 year old self a good shake! You dont need a man you stupid girl!!

I love my DH very much but I will not ever replace him with another.

My mid 60s mum has been single for about 15 years now but for the past 25 she has refused to live with another man after living with two soul destroying, abusive bastards, one after the other.

She is being pestered now by a male friend who cannot understand for the life of him why she doesn't want to move in with him and fulfil his every desire 🤮🤮 there is absolutely no way on this earth she'll ever share a house with a man again and I don't blame her, most of them are sex obsessed, miserable, boring bastards.

Bring in assessments for compulsory castration I say!!!!

Nah - I don’t understand this sentiment. Men are simply people. Some are great, some are not.

I do know as I am older I am less bothered by dating / finding a partner. That is too hard for me to bother with anymore.

Ah, that sounds tough. 💐

I agree. I will point out that on here are always a huge number of threads on here about crap female friends, mil's who are completely selfish and sil's who are a pain.

However, I have seen a good friend marry the most lovely, beautiful woman and then repeatedly cheat on her. The blokes who would rather be in the pub. The guy who worked 8 days a week rather than be a father. The father who rocks up when he wants driving a flash car and in expensive clothes and gives his kids f all for Christmas. My uncle who has never had a job , neither has his wife to be fair. The friend who seems to deliberately sabotage his relationships...

I loved him at the time. He’s a laugh, we get on well. He’s well-read, interesting. Has lots of great friends. We had good times.

Now… He has anger issues, childhood trauma. I’ve helped as much as I can. But, it affects home-life for me & DS. It’s sad.

The problem there is that they are entitled and haven't got woth the times.

They expect to go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed and sort out an annual bunch of flowers for mothers day.

But they don't earn the megabucks to keep a family in a great lifestyle or want to share money equally.

So women are thinking, hang on, I do ten times more than you and you still want praise for doing a load of laundry.

A strong man now needs to get comfortable with parenting the kids he's fathered, working part time, shoping, cooking and cleaning. Basically they won't have the free ride their dad's could expect and they need to also be doing it enthusiastically, because women are quite capable of doing it alone and without their moaning bringing down the mood.

The ones in my life… DS, love him, but he has angry outbursts, like his dad. DH, ten years of marriage seems like enough for me.

Why did you choose him?

Well unless they sleeping with men then I presume they are having sex with gullible women? How many women are desperate for a man and say they cant live without them?

The ones in my life… DS, love him, but he has angry outbursts, like his dad. DH, ten years of marriage seems like enough for me. BIL, will have to listen to his diet neuroses tomorrow while he supervises what my sister eats. Dad, love him, but he’s so mean to Mum these days. Always shouting… I’d love to live with Mum & DS, just the three of us.

My best friend has renovated her house, so beautifully. It’s stunning! She lives in peace with her gorgeous cats. She even has a free-standing bath, with views over a fabulous landscape. Meanwhile, DH pissed all over the bathroom floor, coming in from the pub last night. Luckily, my boss is an amazing lady. No more pervy men bosses of my youth!

I know plenty of interesting women, but also plenty whose interest in the wider world does not extend beyond their children and grandchildren. Which is boring to me as I have neither.

I’m missing out on the code too!! You’re not alone.

for me it’s partly because I’m neurodiverse.

I’m the same. I know it depends on where you work etc and the mix of women there but in my workplace the conversation is dominated by (i) kids and what they are doing at school, uni etc (ii) house and garden renovations (iii) complaining about husbands - all topics I find excruciating to engage in (but still do).

Men are fine for entertainment ie. When they pretend to chat you up before they show you who they really are

Surface level interaction fine, anything else nope 🙂‍↔️

Women are much more interesting to be with

Maybe I’m weird but despite being a woman I prefer hanging out with men in social situations. I also find it can cause problems when a workplace is too female heavy.

Most of the truly awful people I’ve known have been women, not men.

I’m not a stereotypical ‘girly’ girl and it seems to rub some women up the wrong way. I’m also neurodiverse so think I don’t pick up on the subtle body language of women well.

I like looking at them sometimes (well one in particular) but otherwise yeah not great are they (caveat this by saying Dh is a decent husband and father, good ones definitely taken).

I saw this thing about a saying on Chinese twitter that the best men are just the same as average women i.e. take care of their kids, cook and clean, keep an eye out for friends and family, have a social conscience, not criminal etc etc. it’s sadly true.

Your last sentence sums it up.

Everything a man does or says is clouded and or influenced by the fact that their primary aim in life is to seek out sex. They usually deny it but it’s there.

I'm so glad i've got one the few good yins, I certainly cba with "dating" again.

My main issue is how they seem to be incapable of doing the most minor of tasks. I have a male friend who needed to buy a piece of trim for his old car didn't know what part number and I said ring the garage parts department ask if they have a part number. he didn't bought the wrong part on eBay and then somehow it became my responsibility to get his refund and send it back because he didn't know how to do it or where the nearest post office was. He then found it too hard to ring the garage so I had to do it. Honestly they drive me mad at times.

But why aren't they good at emotional connection or conversation? Yes women now work, but this isn't new. As human beings we need connection, company, love, these are things that men could provide if they chose to.

The only thing men have lost is that we aren't reliant on them for money, but actually women have always worked. If they want to provide they can still do this, buy the food, cook, provide a tidy house. Provide emotional support. Plan fun things, plan holidays.

I think it's bs that men can't cope because they are no longer the breadwinners.

I could have written this

I'm 30 and I would say I'm constantly disappointed by men, not that U dislike them

Their inability to deal with emotions, their entitlement and selfishness. Their idea that they are the most important and if they are uncomfortable/unhappy we should deal with it. Their arrogance, and inability to identify mediocrity in men

Social media is riddled with idiotic men, writing unpleasant misogynstic comments, commenting on womens bodies. I find many spaces I enjoy get ruined when men enter them

There are men I love, and enjoy the company of. But they aren't good husbands/partners.

Oh this is interesting. I always think life would have been better if I was born a lesbian as wouldn't have to have dealt with men. But it seems from your statement this might not be the case!!!