To feel like I don’t like men anymore

And many on here are older divorced women who own their own homes, have a decent income, a wide social circle, adult DC they’re not financially supporting so don’t need or want a man to bankroll them.

And as someone has said, a man is the easiest thing in the world to find but a man who makes us want to give up our peaceful lives is a rare beast

If men provided those things you said, they'd still be in demand. But they don't. How many men, who aren't violent thugs that enjoy throwing their weight around including with their partner, do you know who have bothered to keep themselves in good physical shape and learn some form of defensive skills eg boxing or judo etc so they could fight off an intruder, a car jacker or someone who wanted to attack you, versus how many would just hide alongside you and call the police? How many men want to take on the back breaking physical work of gardening, bothering to keep it looking properly nice including growing some vegetables? How many men have learned effective DIY skills (not bodgy ones) and apply them in a timely manner to make the home nice and keep it in good repair? If they did these things, as well as respecting us and being kind to us, having a job, being a partner in raising children and carrying some of the mental load, we'd be less fussed about whether they cooked the Sunday roast or cleaned the toilet. Their "natural strengths" aren't obsolete, they could apply them to modern life if they wanted to, but they don't. So many off them act useless, not even bothering to take basic care of themselves and their possessions, bring nothing to the table except being someone to split the bills with and provide sperm for the creation of children - then they wonder why, if a woman isn't wanting children/has already done that bit, she CBA to live with their lazy selfish selves.

I got rid of my last boyfriend because he was so low effort. I'd have been ok with a casual relationship where we were also seeing other people, but he didn't want that. So he made a lot of empty promises that he never followed through on, said he wanted us to live together and get married, be a team etc. Then once he'd duped me into falling in love with him, just stalled and stalled endlessly on everything, played the victim about everything and how it supposedly wasn't his fault.

All he had to do, if he wanted an exclusive relationship with me was:

• be clean and tidy (this part he managed).
• be willing to go somewhere and do something, like on a date, once a month.
• stop offloading onto me endlessly every time something annoyed him (he could literally moan for 2hrs solid some nights!).
• put some thought in then go out and buy me a present, gift wrap it however badly and give it to me on my birthday and at Christmas.
• follow through on his promises and actually move in with me and marry me (a small/basic wedding in a registry office with a few people would have sufficed).
• be a partner once we lived together and do housework, share bills etc (probably would have done this but we never got that far!).

That's it! Nothing spectacular. But he couldn't even be bothered to do those bare basics of making an effort.

He wasn't bad company most of the time or horrible to me or anything like that. Apart from having a tendency to complain a lot about whatever. He was basically nice and we got along well. But all he was bringing to the party was his dick and that's just not enough if he wanted committment from me. So I got fed up and binned him off. Now he goes around with puppy-dog-eyes looking for sympathy and claiming not to know why we broke up. It's ridiculous.

So no, I don't think it's sad for men. I think they are the cause of their own singledom and they can be the fix for that too. But it'll involve them getting up off their arses and actually changing their ways permanently, to become people who take part in the world beyond just having a job and a hobby. The real issue is that an awful lot of men don't actually want a relationship, they just want regular sex 🤷

Here it is, the incel mindset in full glory. Being expected to be emotionally available is bullshit and women expect a Hollywood man. It’s really unfair isn’t it you have to bring more to the table than an income.😆

Actually, I checked loads of his other posts - and he’s either a man, or a woman who seems to despise women.

Totally agree. It’s the anger that gives it away. The absolute fury that so many women agree on this.

I am loving when women have so little intelligence they can't grasp the concept that someone with a different opinion can be nothing else than a MAN.

God forbid some women have one original or different thought 😂

I’m guessing TrishM80 is a bloke. There seem to be loads of them hanging out on Mumsnet, pretty pathetic.

No, actually most women are saying they can’t be bothered with men anymore.

You keep bringing it back to jobs, saying that men build shit - so what, doesn’t make them good partners.

Or any thinking we’re entitled to a tall strong rich man to whisk us away - nothing of the sort

I think you’re missing the point of the thread @TrishM80

Single women aren’t bitter at all. On the contrary. That’s the point.

We’re not talking about changing tyres, oil rigs or plumbers just that we’d rather not be in relationships with them.

I have no idea why so many people try to pretend single women are bitter. Men aren’t exactly hard to get for women. If we wanted one, we’d have one. And we don’t.

Why are you talking about occupational segregation? What is the relevance?

There is not one post here with a woman hating men because she cannot get one. Not one

Well, if they do a dangerous and difficult job, one that most women will not or cannot do, in order to provide for their family, then they can't exactly be "useless fathers and husbands", can they? What, they're not "emotionally available", or some other bullshit?!

Too many women are looking for the Hollywood Rom Com version of a perfect man and are bitter when they can't find him.

I know two men who are doing a great job bringing up their children since their wives died.

It's easy to generalise.

CBA to trawl the whole thread to find the post about fitting a spare tyre .... Many cars no longer have a spare tyre anyway.

The point OP is making us that while many men are decent who has the time or energy in middle age to sift through the pool to find one.

If I was single again no way would I want to get into a long term relationship again. Few dates maybe but that is all.

This is so true.

women don't have to do anything. I just can't imagine what kind of life you have if you don't trust and avoid half the population, when the biggest majority of said population is perfectly decent.

A few individuals don't define the entire group. They do a lot of damage, but they don't define anything.

I can't imagine assuming that a man is an abuser unless proven otherwise, anymore than I would assume a woman is a "sister" (or whatever bullshit term someone will come up with) until she proves otherwise.

Who cares about changing tyres or working on oil rigs, it’s about them as people and their many deficiencies in that direction.

And yes, dangerous men are all around us all the time. Look at Pelicot inviting men to rape his wife. All those men, who all lived close to her, who took up his kind offer. Men of all ages, ethnicity and professions. Everyday men who walk among us.

This is from The Guardian about the case…
of the shocking things about these 50 rapists is that their only common denominator was that they were from the same 50km radius. (Dominique Pelicot didn’t want to take chances on the drugs wearing off.) They came from every class, from every age group (the youngest was 27, the oldest 74) – a lorry driver, a soldier, a journalist, a DJ. They were single, they were married, they were fathers, they were not. They were such a perfect randomised cross-section of society that the world tied itself in knots to come to a sensible conclusion that wasn’t: “This is what men are.”

I like men. I get on really well with my ex DH, I adore my adult son and i have fabulous male friends. However the older I get, the less appealing being im a relationship with a man is.

And anyone happily coupled up really doesn’t get what the men on offer out there are like. I didn’t have a clue until i found myself single at 50.

This is why I'm happily single.

This is just silly. Do we really have to pretend that men don’t commit 98% of serious sexual assault, or that they’re not the physically stronger sex, or that 1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted in some way by a man. That means that one in every four women seeing a doctor has been sexually assaulted by a male. It is outrageous to suggest that these women who have been traumatised should keep quiet over their fears, rather than risk being prejudiced. It isn’t about prejudice, it’s about stats.

Its not all men.
If all men were dangerous, we wouldn’t be talking about 1 in 5 girls abused before 16 — we’d be talking about almost all of them.

Women don’t have to like or trust men. And they don’t have to justify it either. The statistics speak for themselves.

I can pay someone to change my car tyre. I cannot pay someone to be a caring parent and husband.

And that's the point. So many women work and make money while also handling everything at home.

It's not enough for a man to go to work, take out the trash and change a tyre once in a while. Many women handle all that and more.

But that depends on a parent having the job that stays with the kids. Both parents cannot be away for months at a time. A parent cannot choose to work on an oil rig or 80 hours a week in a City job without the support of the other parent. One parent has to be there to pick up from nursery, to give dinner etc. Doesn't have to be a SAHM but they have to be present outside of 9-5 Monday- Friday.

The entire point of this thread is that women don't have these kinds of choices because men are also not supporting them in these choices by not pulling their weight at home.

And this is where the anger and disappointment is coming from.

So many men are lazy and entitled. There will be a swarm of posts tomorrow from poor wives who’ve given everything to make Christmas special and receive nothing from their significant other. Really sad!!

Nearly all of the women I know are amazing!!