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AIBU?

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Original poster

Absolutely lost it tonight and feel like the worst mother

58 replies

Caudooo · 23/12/2025 20:50

Not really an AIBU but more a plea for help with how to manage these situations. DS turned three in April and he’s been hard work ever since pretty much.

I am a single parent, I do absolutely everything for Ds and ex sees him every Sunday. He won’t have him overnight and never has.

Usually things run smoothly. I’m quite good at juggling things and staying positive but tonight I just lost it. He was throwing food, getting angry and shouting at me, pouring milk when I had asked him to be careful as he had already spilled some. It went on and on and I just shouted at him that he was being badly behaved. He was crying and I was crying, he started hitting me.

Things did get better and he’s gone to bed fine and seemed happy. But he did say ‘I’m being good now’ which made me feel sad as it’s obviously affected him. I’ve been sat down for an hour now and practically been shaking while eating my dinner. I feel so stressed and so sad.

This has happened maybe three or four times ever but I know it’s not good. I really want to be better. I feel sick after tonight and really shaken up.

OP posts:
MumoftwoNC · 23/12/2025 21:05

But he did say ‘I’m being good now’

This is a good thing. He's learnt from the experience. He was very naughty to hit you, and now feels bad about it, that's a good learning experience.

Don't worry about it op. It's all fine, a normal parenting snapshot imo.

Others will come onto the thread catastrophising about how you've traumatised him with your ungentle parenting but I reckon he'll be just fine really.

thistimelastweek · 23/12/2025 21:05

Caudooo · 23/12/2025 20:58

@thistimelastweek shouting though, like really shouting a lot. It’s so shit of me and reminds me of my dad when he got angry

Show quote history

OK not your finest moment but you're human too

Best thing is you are reflecting on it.

You are a good mum doing her best.

And sometimes the little buggers will push you too far.

Don't beat yourself up for being human

Quitelikeit · 23/12/2025 21:02

You just lost control slightly. They do push boundaries a lot at this age!

It is how they learn what is and is not acceptable

If you hate how you reacted and think it is wrong you could always apologise to your child and say ‘mummy shouted too loudly - I am sorry’ etc it is ok to make mistakes and show our children we are not perfect

Original poster
Caudooo · 23/12/2025 20:58

thistimelastweek · 23/12/2025 20:56

Give yourself a break .
Parenthood doesn't confer sainthood.
You are doing great and getting cross from time to time isn't a big failure.
It's normal.

@thistimelastweek shouting though, like really shouting a lot. It’s so shit of me and reminds me of my dad when he got angry

OP posts:
Original poster
Caudooo · 23/12/2025 20:58

FloorWipes · 23/12/2025 20:56

I really don't think that's terribly bad. It's very hard doing it all yourself and you sound like you are doing a good job. The only thing really needing managed here is the overall burden you're carrying so that you might have a bit more bandwidth such that you can take inevitable bad behaviour a bit more in your stride, but that won't always be possible. I'm not sure what's available to you financially or with family support to get a bit more time off.

@FloorWipes thanks, I was really shouting though and when he was getting more upset and hitting me I was shouting more. It was just so bad. It’s in the moment I need to take a step back but it’s just so hard and it did happen when he was around 18 months too, or a similar thing

OP posts:
cannynotsay · 23/12/2025 20:56

The fact he’s said that shows it go through to him, it’s ok to lose it here and there. Sometimes it’s how we get through to them. You’re doing an amazing job Xx

thistimelastweek · 23/12/2025 20:56

Give yourself a break .
Parenthood doesn't confer sainthood.
You are doing great and getting cross from time to time isn't a big failure.
It's normal.

FloorWipes · 23/12/2025 20:56

I really don't think that's terribly bad. It's very hard doing it all yourself and you sound like you are doing a good job. The only thing really needing managed here is the overall burden you're carrying so that you might have a bit more bandwidth such that you can take inevitable bad behaviour a bit more in your stride, but that won't always be possible. I'm not sure what's available to you financially or with family support to get a bit more time off.