To have to do an ‘Emma Thompson’ this Christmas?

My best friend of thirty years died very suddenly early December. I’m heartbroken for her and her three young dc. Her DH, the DCs also died in recent years. It’s just so sad. One half of me wants to curl up in a ball and cry. The other half wants to celebrate the f**k out of Xmas in case it’s my last with my kids.

My 12 year old daughter came on a car trip with me tonight and has (totally unlike her) cried rivers as he feels her Dad favours her brother and has no time for her anymore. She was previously thick as thieves with him. Thing is it’s true. He has become totally tunnel vision on one boy and completely ignores our other two children. I'm so sad for her too that she realises this and for my other brilliant boy.

Overall DH is a nearly 100% prick. I should have left many years ago. He didn’t attend or even ask anything about my friends funeral. He doesn’t care about me

i hope everyone has a peaceful Xmas

I am so so lonely. I have no family on my side. No one left. We live in a foreign country. My husband is from another country all together, we are spending the Christmas there with his family. I love him, but he does not understand me, or why this is a difficult time of the year for me. I am an alien in his family. The foreigner. I go through the motions for my children. Over the years I have learned what’s expected from me, and what to do and how to behave, but I am not and will never be part of it. If it wasn’t for my children, I’d just disappear.

That was me over 20 years ago. I didn’t manage to keep up the facade through new years.

Emma Thompson perfectly encompassed the lives of far too many women in that one scene. She deserves to be recognized for its importance to so many people.

Haven't read all the responses but sending hugs to all of you going through whatever crap has been thrown your way. Mine is incredibly minor in comparison but dislocated my shoulder last week and just smiling through the pain - sort of! Very sleep deprived as a result too ... But Merry Christmas everyone!

Do you know her personally?

Because I do & I can tell you she would find
it hilarious someone was making a stand like this on her behalf.

🙄 Always one

The run up to our Christmas has been horrible. I'm expecting a baby in March but still made the 7 hour round trip to see my mum who was her usual snippy self. Apparently I'm too fat!
I also had to tell her that my brother who has a severe mental illness has been recalled to prison for breaking bail conditions. He was living with us and we had hell whilst he went on a 3 day bender. His probation officer said he was to have a short sharp shock and he was not to come back to us afterwards. The police took 4 nailbiting days to pick him up.
Our visit to in-laws today was postponed because dh's mother's heart went wappy and she is now in hospital refusing visitors. Dh is freaking out and I've told him to go anyway but he won't.
I'm stressed beyond belief

Cancer and upcoming mastectomy next month. But, I am so grateful for the care and support I have had from the staff at the chemo unit, and my parents who have been wonderful. Sending love and hugs to everyone who is struggling xx

Indeed: there’s always one.

Well said. I agree. Really overwhelmed by the strength shown by women on here.

Deeply humbled by the many devastating stories on this thread.

Mine isn’t a life or death scenario but it’s been a tricky year - I’ve started on HRT (today) and have had to give up the idea of having a baby after many years trying. My career tanked & my husband has also been struggling professionally. We’re both feeling lost & I certainly feel that I have forgotten what I offer the world.

Am increasingly anxious which I’m hoping the HRT will help but since I read that it can increase your risks of breast cancer (and given I am currently supporting a dear friend through said illness), I am even more anxious & can’t sleep.

Would it have been wiser to split with him after Christmas? Less strain over Christmas probably.

Came on here to moan but after reading majority of the posts it has knocked me back down to earth, humbled is an understatement

Women are bloody remarkable, I wish you all a merry Christmas and an easier new year!!

I lost a pregnancy last year in traumatic circumstances. I somehow got through last Christmas - I think by mainly focusing on the fact that the baby wouldn't have been there anyway even if they hadn't died (as they weren't due until spring this year). But this should have been their first Christmas and that's hard to cope with this year.

My 16 year old DD with history of self harm put herself in mortal danger ten days ago. Miraculously, she survived - with mutiple fractures in her face and a cranial hematoma.

A friend from psych ward who was worried about her killed himself two days later. His parents are amazing but I feel so guilty - could I have reassured him? Stopped her?

Been lying to her siblings about what happened and now she's due to come home and full of grand ideas about how she'll look after herself all by herself. Dear god.

But 12 year old wants presents under tree and a buffet, so here we go.

Damn, some seriously painful stories here but also, some superhuman level strong women. Sending tons of support to all of you who are having a shit time at the moment.

I'm ETing my way through tomorrow at work, supporting the staff who work on our 24/7 mental health helpline. I wasn't looking forward to it, it's always a tough time of year and we have a lot of folk off sick. I'm exhausted, stretched thin and burnt out, and grieving our much loved dog who crossed the rainbow bridge a few weeks back. But this has made me put things into perspective a bit, so if I can help those staff give a bit of comfort to someone who needs it, or advise them on how to keep someone safe, that's worth doing, and worth doing well. Perhaps even someone on here will speak to one of them.

FWIW I hope you can all go as easy on yourselves as your current predicaments allow. Christmas creates a huge amount of pressure to have the perfect day, but sometimes it's just shit. There will be better days 💐

Had an abusive long-term relationship end so traumatically I can barely even talk about it with my therapist. ExP seems to be under the impression that we might get back together. Every time he contacts me I feel pure terror.
Trying to stay alive long enough to have my long-awaited day in court. In childhood I was abused by a Care provider along with many others, all of whom are either permanently damaged or dead. Trying to hold down a job when I am very clearly not well enough to be in work is killing me, and if I don't somehow win a significant lump sum of money I am not going to live to see my mid-30s. Anyway, I have precious little time off over Christmas so I'll be making the most of what little respite I have from putting on a cheery and quasi-functional face for everyone else.

Sending my love to all of you. Women really are strongest of the sexes. To those in pain, I wish you relief and to all I will raise a glass to you all on Christmas Day xx

Just pondering which category to report you under.

I'm so moved by this thread. The strength people have to get through the shit that life throws at them. Sending hugs to you all; I'm in awe.

Weirdly, it is, in a way, a really uplifting thread; so much resilience, fortitude and love

Merry Christmas to you all. May you get through it in any way you can.

I had a massive heart attack earlier this year, im only in my 40s

I feel like im swimming through treacle just living every day. This christmas im so exhausted and cant wait for it to be over but want dont want to ruin things for DC or DH so desperately plastering on a smile as they have all been through the mill with me and have been brilliant. I feel like i should feel lucky to be here celebrating when it could easily have been a different outcome but living with the side effects from the medication I have to take for life is hard work and I just dont feel anything at the moment, let alone christmassy.
Thinking of everyone else how has posted, know you arent alone in what you are going through 💐

awaiting the missed calls & a drunk text...8 years after he blew up our lives over nothing.. that's my moment

Me too!! So glad I only need to see her one day but it really sucks!!

And let add my virtual hugs to you all as well.