Uninvited guests. People expecting to be invited into your home unnanou

I love visitors. I'd never send them away unless I had a reason.

My ils had a habit of calling later in the eve, esp after dc born and only little. Sil would call after 5pm, witching hour then complain that dd was too whiney. One day id had enough and told her she had called at the wrong time, what did she expect after a busy day.at nursery etc. She left very quickly after.
Bil was another who would have landed round after tea time, and dh would be at work til after 9.
I hated it cos we have nosy neiighbours who miss nothing and would potentially get the wrong idea seeing his car appear on an eve when dh not home.

When I was younger, all anyone did was just turn up and be let in. Mobile phones have made us all horribly self-centered.

How to get over it?
Never leave dirty underwear lying around.
Always have teabags / coffee and milk in.
Smile.

Job done.

Depends completely on who it is and what time of day! My adult kids all have keys so just come in. My best friends are always welcome. My mum & my sister do it occasionally and I might be mildly irritated but I'd still invite them in.

I HATE it! It might suit you to "drop in" unexpectedly but it doesn't suit me. Ring me and we will arrange something. I think it is incredibly rude and would never do it to anyone.

Worst one ever. A few days into our new home. I was about to get in the shower and get ready for my late shift. Knock at the door.
Some couple I didn’t recognise. And a big dog. Turned out they were friends of in laws who had heard that we had moved in to their town so had come round to say hello. They used to know DH when he was a child and their son used to be his best friend.
Great. Said hello and introduced myself. Apologised for being a state in my pjs and said it wasn’t a great time. DH was at work.I needed to be. They were all ‘OH NO. We’ve brought lunch! Held up hot takeaway. Thought you might be busy unpacking. Do you mind if we pop in and just quickly say hi? So I had an awkward 5 mins of small talk feeling shabby and stressed about getting ready for work. Dog dashing about.
They seemed put out when I showed them out.

It’s like they had planned it all in their heads. All having lunch together. Catching up with DH. Us gratefully eating the food. Like we were just sitting there all day.
They could have just dropped a bloody card in and left their number.
If you’re a dropper inner make sure you’re finely tuned to read situations.

Very common in my upbringing - the norm in fact . Now I don’t like it

Our home is our safe space, so no one comes in unless it’s essential. The kids take weeks to relax again (autism).

I do have a friend who is the polar opposite though and she simply cannot understand. She’d happily let you pop over and use her house whilst she’s on holiday (she has offered), so gets upset if you’re in the area and didn’t drop by, and she doesn’t understand why we knock when we go round instead of walking straight in. She finally got the message when I opened the door to her once with “why are you here?” before I remembered about manners/tact/phrasing!

Still a best friend, but we appreciate that we are Not The Same.

People know they have to phone before they come to my house.

If someone did this to me I would probably speak to them on the doorstep for a few minutes and then say 'lovely to see you, must get on' and close the door.

Anyone that knows me would not be surprised by this.

That's if I opened the door in the first place.

That’s why I have a video doorbell! If it’s someone you like and want to answer the door to you can see and if it’s not then just ignore it and turn the volume off

I would let anyone in except my SIL. But I have no other demands on my time atm. If I was busy and had stuff to get done I would tell them it wasn't a good time.

Same. The only person who can truly get away with this is my Mum. Otherwise, it drives me insane. Also, our house is freezing so I’m usually knocking around in my onesie or o/s hoodie.

Depends who it is and how much I like them tbh! I wouldn't drop in unannounced myself though

I’d channel my best Dave Edmunds

🎵🎶🎵 “I hear you knocking,
but you can’t come in” 🎵🎶🎵

at them

Do you know why it annoys you? I would start there. Boundaries are healthy though!

I'm not sure it's possible to learn to love it.

Work out what your parameters are ie do you need an hour's notice or a day's notice and be utterly clear. Then everybody knows. I married into a family of dropper inners but they respect that I'm a misanthropic curmudgeon and never ever drop by unannounced.

I love it! It takes all the pressure off being organised and super hospitable. I often invite friends in when they’re passing, and live in a central, sociable house for that reason. I love being able to welcome people in and be friendly. My friends are similar though, so it’s not just me.

My MIL would fling open the door, invite the knockers in, as well as anybody else in the vicinity, provide tea/wine/biscuits/a bed for the night and she'd be utterly thrilled.

I'd be horrified and likely shut the door so fast, I'd risk people's fingers and/or other appendages.

I'd imagine there's a spectrum between us as well.

My kids do this all the time to my mil. Some people have an open house. Others never have visitors. Depends what kind of system you run.