Uninvited guests. People expecting to be invited into your home unnanou

I'd let then in and be polite but I don't like it, especially week days which are usually pretty full on after work as I have DC and I don't like the routine being disrupted. Even weekends I usually have a plan in mind of what time I will do what housework, go for a walk, prep dinner etc.
Luckily I don't deal with it much anymore, I used to live in the town and people would often pop round whilst out. I'm now in an area that's not quite 'middle of nowhere' but there is nothing in walking distance and it's not an area anyone would be passing.

Apologies. I hit quote before posting and now I can only edit and not delete!

Are they just popping in for a moment to drop off presents etc. or are they expecting to be fed and entertained? If it's the latter and I didn't like them, I wouldn't invite them in.

You realise that some of us do have jobs, and no, don't have time to faff around, put the kettle on?

Why do you think working from home is any different from working in an office?

Do you think my hairdresser has time to put the kettle on when they're busy with clients back to back? Do you think my kids teacher drop the class and go and put the kettle on during a class? 😂

I do, (or I don't open the door) but I shouldn't have to? Surely it's basic manners not to think your time is not more valuable than someone else's, and to check if they are available?

There are many days when I don't have lunch until 3:30 when I make a snack for my kids after school. (like most people!). But I should be expected to find time to put the kettle on and have some boring chit chat with someone who's too bored and can't find anything to do?

My kids are not toddlers anymore, I am way past the babysitting age , especially for adults 😂

That's when guests are useful. Let them put the kettle on and entertain the kids, and you can chat while you carry on with what you were doing.

You don’t have time to put the kettle on!?

I’d welcome them in, hand them
and glass of bubbly and ply them with turkey and ham.

If someone knocks unexpectedly and you don't have time, you say that.

I sometimes think I live in a parallel universe but anyone I know well enough that they'd want knock on my door as they passed, would be welcomed for a cuppa and a mince pie, especially at this time of year.

Equally if they say no, no time, that's fine and if they stay too long because I have things to do, I'd tell them that and they'd leave.

The house is never immaculate, but it's clean enough and there's always milk in the fridge.

unnanoun? Jesus

I have young kids and we are busy. I don’t have time to put the kettle on for anyone. I haven’t had an unannounced visit ever and I don’t do that to anyone.. it would infuriate me too

I read that as you put on a kettle of wine.

I thought that's a house that goes all in for guests!

that's not what it's about at all though, is it.

My house is always "visitor ready" because I can't stand mess, and my kids bring back friends whenever they feel like it.

The ones being self-centered are the rude adults who expect someone to drop everything they are doing to host them. People have plans, have things to do, are busy, they shouldn't have to cancel or mess their entire day because some lazy bored idiot decide to pop in.

It might be lovely when you are retired and potter around all day, but even my parents have plans and a life.

Hate it! Even if someone texts and asks to pop over at the last minute I don’t like that either. I have a feeling I am neurodiverse so might be why I feel this way. Everyone is different though, some people have an open house and love socialising etc, I am just not one of those people.

This is the only time of year I'm ok with it, as long as people don't mind me puttering about doing what I need to do while they're here.

I've had both my neighbours over today, one sat and had coffee and a croissant with me while I made my festive desserts and one was Mrs. Doyle'd into having a bacon sarnie when he came over with a bottle of bubbly for us.

Friends and family just drop in when they feel like it and as long as I'm in and decent I'll bring them in and feed them.

Any other time of year they'd be told to get to fuck though. My hospitality extends to January 1st and then I become by appointment only again.

My grandmother had a wonderful way of getting rid of unwanted visitors. She had an old clock which produced Westminster chimes (eg bing bong bing bong) on the hour and half hour. When she had enough of a visitor she would leap up suddenly and exclaim loudly "Goodness is that the time? I must get on. Thank you for your visit. I will see you out/fetch your coat."

Visitors were completely thrown onto the back foot. No one ever argued.

I also can't stand the reverse of this. MIL will often say she will 'pop' in but never has an idea if morning/afternoon etc. She also never tells us when she changes her mind and isn't coming!

Last year at 6pm, Christmas Eve, DH got a voicemail from and old uni friend. They only speak once a year at most. The message said 'they' were visiting a relative nearby and would pop by our house later tonight after their visit there. We moved here 4yrs ago and he has never been to our house.

We had both just got in from work, madly tidying, planning, prepping etc so really not convenient at all. DH tried calling the 'friend' but no answer. We ended up waiting up till 11pm, fully dressed and they never turned up. Yes, I could have gone to bed, but didn't want ringing the bell late.

I’d love this. But I haven’t got any friends and I am really lonely, so that skews things a bit.

I also think it’s rude. Why do people think that it’s ok not to let someone know that they’re going to pop in? The other person could be in the middle of anything, the might have other people there, they might be working or in my OH’s case, sleeping off a night shift.

My OH’s uncle does this every Christmas. Never know when he’s coming, he just knocks the door and expects to come in regardless. Last year, I was right in the middle of unloading all the Christmas food shop out of the car, the kids were still in their PJs and one of them had just been to the loo so it didn’t smell great as I opened the door with him right behind me 🙈 He then wanted me to sort something out on his phone but didn’t know the password so I had no chance - bearing in mind, I see this man once a year! Infuriating.

Just because it’s convenient for you, doesn’t mean it is for me and it’s extremely rude not to check beforehand.

I am one of those that actually enjoy having people drop round, but I know some people hate it. I suppose if you really hate it, your friends and family must be incredibly thick-skinned if they aren't picking up on your "I hate this" body language. Why not make a New Year resolution to be upfront with people and tell them that drop-in guests make you uncomfortable, so please stop doing it.

If I was free I’d invite them in. I always have drinks or a snack I can offer. It doesn’t happen much to me though.
if I’m working from home I’d be clear it’s not an option.

I am a tidy person and would never feel embarsssed for someone to come in. I see why some people may not feel happy with surprise guests and that’s fine!

My immediate family would always be welcomed in although they would usually message if they were popping in.
Anyone else it would soon what I was doing and who it was.

We never get inexpected guests now we've moved. We live in the middle of nowhere. Everything has to be prearranged so there are no wasted journeys.
My mum & dad used to drop in unexpectedly when they were out & about. Dad is dead now & mum doesn't drive.
Be careful what you wish for, I miss having unexpected visitors.

Yep. Unless it was someone I hated…. I might even offer stollen or Christmas cake.

(people on here are insane sometimes )