He asked me for a handjob 5 days after giving birth.

So accurate, it should appear twice.

Gently OP, he did not want to be with you when you lived with your parents but now you have your own place (and will be getting a council place one day), he all of a sudden wants you back?!

He is horny and wants out of his mums house.

How hard did he have to work to get you back?
Did he want to start dating again, taking you out and buying you gifts to show his love and appreciation for you?
or did he basically just move straight in?

Is HE going to provide you with a roof over your head for you and the baby - no ?

Get him out of your homeless accommodation immediately ! it is for you and your baby.

You deserve better, believe me.

"Lives with his mum" well that 's it, mum has probably told him to sling his hook and go and look after his gf and baby. She's probably rejocing that you've taken her twat of a son back.
Send him back to his mum, he can do his own hand jobs, but in reality there will be another mug along in a couple of weeks to do that for him.
You'll be a great mum without this tosser and be able to enjoy your baby on your terms.
Make sure you get in touch with CMS though. He can damn well pay his way, don't accept excuses.

I think there are worse things than being lonely. You and the baby are the ones that matter, don't get stuck with a selfish man.
Babies are very good for meeting new people and making new friends, if you are willing/able to join baby groups and things like that. Things will get better. You don't need someone who doesn't respect you.
Bless you, take care.

Sorry but wtf?!

He lacks any understanding of what your body has been through, your emotions or the shock of a newborn to even suggest it!

To give you an idea of what a decent bloke does after childbirth.....brings snacks, tea, makes food, does nappy changes, comforts baby so you can sleep, makes dinner etc etc etc.
My DH didn't do anything but support me no pressure until I felt ready for anything further then a cuddle or kiss!

Why do you want a relationship with this loser?

Has his hands fallen off? What a creep

Send him back to his mum. You can do this on your own. Loads of women have. You don’t need him.

He wasn't there during your pregnancy and now you are no longer pregnant he's sorry about that. That is no the behaviour of a supportive partner.

It wasn't "just" him that made the pregnancy hard but it was partly him. That is the not the behaviour of a supportive partner.

Now he's asking for sexual favours and sulking when he doesn't get them. That is not the behaviour of a supportive partner.

Sorry but he has no more respect for you than he would an inflatable sex doll.

Ask him to leave. Tell him you're worried about your tenancy agreement if that's what it takes. Plan to raise the baby alone, do not let this manchild bring chaos into your life when it sounds like you already have enough to deal with.

Concentrate on your baby and forget relationships until you can work out why you are prepared to accept being treated so badly and have the self esteem to demand better.

Congratulations on your little boy.

If it's tobacco he smokes that will drain your finances and puts the baby at risk. If it's weed, run for the hills. Stoners do not make good partners. If he's so loved up with you and his baby he should be making crazy plans to buy them the best pram, toys, football kit, enroll them at Eton and all the gormless thoughts that besotted young Dads have. Not be out there smoking and bothering you.

You might not feel it, but having just given birth and not having a strong relationship with your parents, you are very vulnerable. This guy has already proved himself to be lacking by taking off during the pregnancy. He sounds like a user, and not healthy for you to be around. Focus on having the best bonding experience with your little one. You and them against the world. Join some baby groups and get out and about. Do not let this guy into your trust. Be strong x

Ergh. Some 'men' have absolutely no idea.

You're worth more. And don't let a smoker be around your newborn, it's not worth the risk.

Total fucktard. You deserve way better!!

Well, luckily you've only been back together with him for a few days so you can get rid of him without much bother after this.

Lives with his mum officially and stays with you?

No plans to work hard and house himself then?

Echoing what others say. You'd be well rid of him. Also, you don't want to be living with a smoker when you have a newborn. Even one that smokes outside. It lingers on hair and clothes and can be harmful for your baby.

Congratulations on your new baby boy. As for the fella, tell him to do one.

OP, I felt so sad reading your post. Nice men don't do this. He doesn't sound nice at all. I know being a single parent is daunting but do think hard about your choices here. Are you really better off with him than without him?

This does not bode well for the future. Please listen to advice on here op.

@CashewGal bonding hormones or not who wants to give a had job 5 days after giving birth 🙄 really 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Well now you know his support comes with an expectation of sexual favours.

OP, I’m going to be as kind as I can.

First, the fact he’s even considered asking for a handjob 5 days post partum THEN (ick of all icks) goes off for a wank is vile. He neither has any class or respect for you.

Secondly - he smokes. The cancer and bronchial disease causing chemicals from smoking lingers on clothes for hours and your baby will likely be exposed to these. To be honest, this alone is enough for me to say boot him out. If you love your baby, which I’m sure you do, keep him as far as possible from those chemicals.

Lastly, you have just entered a stage of your life that will be largely all consuming for some time, and you are now solely responsible for that baby boy. What you teach him about being a man one day starts with you. He will learn how to be a man from both good and bad influences around him. He will learn how to treat women from his father and other male role models. I use that term loosely for the sperm donor that is his father. Think very, very hard how you want that baby of yours to behave when he is an adult and then reconsider whether this getting back together is going to produce that.

Be honest with yourself - you are currently very vulnerable and no doubt wanting a hallmark card version of a family. You CAN have that, but not likely with that arse of a man.

Don’t give him a key, bag up his shit, get rid before, like a fungus, he infects every facet of your life.

Stepping up for your baby as his one and only advocate starts right now.