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Original poster

He asked me for a handjob 5 days after giving birth.

231 replies

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

OP posts:
Baby2duejuly2026 · 23/12/2025 19:53

OP he doesn’t respect you. Don’t stay with him. No man would expect that 5 days after having his baby

50lbstolose · 23/12/2025 19:52

Send him packing back to his mum’s. He is a man-child sex pest

Childanddogmama · 23/12/2025 19:52

I think it's okay to ask but not sulk about it when told no!!

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 19:52

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 19:49

I don’t have any issue with him going out to smoke but it’s just the way he was in a mood all afternoon and he denied that he was, he said he was “just tired”. I wanted to discuss names for the baby with him

I was the one who broke up with him originally and we didn’t have much contact during the pregnancy until we started talking again and met up and agreed to try again and he was at the birth. His mum also didn’t help things as she accused me of trapping him for because I didn’t want an abortion and she just wasn’t supportive at all

i don’t know if I will go to baby groups as I am young and I worry about being judged, and friends drifted whilst I was pregnant so I just feel alone rn

Hi OP, really try to go to baby groups, you need the support and company. No one will judge. And anyone who does isn’t worth worrying about.

Being with people in the same boat is so so valuable. Don’t cut yourself off 💐.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 23/12/2025 19:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 19:49

I don’t have any issue with him going out to smoke but it’s just the way he was in a mood all afternoon and he denied that he was, he said he was “just tired”. I wanted to discuss names for the baby with him

I was the one who broke up with him originally and we didn’t have much contact during the pregnancy until we started talking again and met up and agreed to try again and he was at the birth. His mum also didn’t help things as she accused me of trapping him for because I didn’t want an abortion and she just wasn’t supportive at all

i don’t know if I will go to baby groups as I am young and I worry about being judged, and friends drifted whilst I was pregnant so I just feel alone rn

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 23/12/2025 19:48

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/12/2025 18:28

You are homeless, recovering from birth. With a very tiny new baby.

This dickhead just wants to get his rocks off. And sulks when you don’t oblige.

You are better than this. Please know that now you are a mother. This gives you enormous responsibility but also power. Get rid of scummy dickhead, apply to CSA, work on doing what you can to build a life for you and your baby.

100% this. You don't need that kind of shit in your life. Just focus on your little one and tell the twat to do one

Jackiepumpkinhead · 23/12/2025 19:47

Cock lodger alert.

bazcam · 23/12/2025 19:47

He's a selfish prick. What a ridiculous demand. Let him know all sex acts are off the table for the foreseeable.

toiletpaperthief · 23/12/2025 19:46

There's a reason why you split with this jerk while being pregnant. You don't want this guy as partner, maybe you want to come to some civilised arrangement where he gets to be a father and be around to help just NOT be a couple. Please don't put up with this terrible behaviour from a man just because... You dumped him a while ago because clearly he has little empathy and is not operating on your best interests. You're much better off alone and with him it's only going to get worse.

rubyslippers · 23/12/2025 19:45

He’s a disgusting pig
he’ll be a shitty father and a shitty partner
Send him back to his mums and enjoy your lovely new baby

Wheresthebeach · 23/12/2025 19:43

Grim. Get rid now.

Beeloux · 23/12/2025 19:42

What a fucker. Sounds like my ds2 dad. He suddenly wanted to get back together after the birth despite cheating and pissing off during the pregnancy.

Stupidly I gave him a second chance which was down to me wanting him to be in ds2 life and probably hormones.

In reality he wanted sex on tap and knew I would cook him a meal whenever he came over.

I finally opened my eyes and ended things (found out he was screwing a nurse he worked with). Since that day he has never seen or asked about his son despite me making it clear he was welcome to be in his life and I would coparent amicably.

He even had the cheek to say I could think again if I thought he would provide childcare for ‘the baby’ so I could go and meet someone new.

I suggest you save yourself heartbreak and nip this in the bud asap.

gamerchick · 23/12/2025 19:37

OP, he wants to get out of his parents. Now you're set up he thinks he's sorted.

Send him back to his parents, tell him to grow the fuck up and sort out CM and contact with the baby. This is not going to work.

RocketPanda · 23/12/2025 19:37

He's only interested in your secure tenancy and availability for sex. You can do so much better.

Fiftyandme · 23/12/2025 19:36

Throw this one back - preferable with the help of a very very long fishing line

Jenkibuble · 23/12/2025 19:34

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

Deffo keep him as an EX

Not OK!

suburberphobe · 23/12/2025 19:34

What a creep.

Sorry OP. He's not the one for you.

Take him to CMS.

WearyAuldWumman · 23/12/2025 19:33

Apparently, the bold boy is officially staying with his mum. I'm betting that she wants rid, hence his interest in reconciliation with the OP.

usedtobeaylis · 23/12/2025 19:33

He is disgusting. I'm sorry you got back together with him. You, and by extension your child, deserve better than a half-assed sleazy man baby. Get rid of him.

Suusue · 23/12/2025 19:30

Get rid of him. Total selfish loser. Not fit as a partner or father. Dump immediately.

elliejjtiny · 23/12/2025 19:29

He's not unreasonable to ask but he is very unreasonable for moaning or sulking after being told no. I would have happily done that after my vaginal births, although the risk of me falling asleep part way through would have been high, but I couldn't have after my c-sections.

SunMoonandChocolate · 23/12/2025 19:28

How old are you and your BF OP? He doesn't sound very mature at all, and you sound very young, if I'm wrong, I apologise, but there are lots of ladies on MN that have all sorts of experience, so please listen to what they're telling you - ie, get rid of him! The last thing you need is to risk losing your accommodation, because he'd rather be living with you, having sex on tap (or so he thinks) and generally not having to fit in with his mother's rules. I think if you let him stay after this, you will be VERY, VERY sorry!

Congratulations on your new baby though.

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 19:27

Yes. It is that bad. It is appalling.

Did you read about the sulking ? Raise your bar FGS

Laura95167 · 23/12/2025 19:25

Hes a pig

Should have sorted himself out to begin with.

Honestly, youre better off alone. Even if that feels scary I promise its true